Stay and Die
I woke up angry today
if you knew how I really felt
who I really am
(crazy sometimes)
would you still
want to play with me?
(would you delete me?)
I woke up afraid
hating my dream
analyzing the meaning
of panic
chasing
running
loose change and broken ATM’s
never catching up
peeing in strange bathrooms
on the floor
a man with a child in his arms
in my dreams (my reality?)
I am in a hurry
and yet
I pause to apply lipstick
in the mirror a woman
looks back, fear, pain, panic
girls ask me a question
in my purse is the answer
is it the rotting fruit you want?
I compose words
a speech I must give
tender words
sincere words
lonely words
maybe I don’t want to talk
it’s a maze
(my life I think)
I will be late
(because it’s not my time to join you or maybe it is)
I can see
a reflection of myself
this yellow skirt
too short
too sexy
for my mother’s
funeral
Lynda Filler 