I’m not that kind of girl…

“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

“This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes
excerpt from LOVE The Beat Goes On:

 

7

Event One: My Cowboy

I’ll always remember his faded tan cowboy boots — scuffed, old, comfy — and the sky blue denim shirt stretched taut across powerful broad shoulders — my cowboy, as I refer to him. And I’ll definitely never forget that lustful smile on his lips when I answered his knock on my hotel room door.

I was naked… sort of.

I’m not usually that kind of girl… except the times when I am. And that was one of those times. I stood just inside the door to a room with a luxurious king-sized bed, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass, on the twenty-eighth floor of the Sheraton Wall Center, and was wrapped in a gauzy pink beach wrap. A girl has to meet a dare, right?

“So even though you’re cheating with that pink sheer wrap, I’m impressed.” Standing six feet and a few inches, Dr. Evil flashed that silly, young, boyish smile and kissed me softly on my lips.

I brushed stray strands of the softest, dusty-brown hair out of his sexy, grey eyes and laughed, proud of my sophisticated nakedness and ready for wherever the evening would take us.

It may be difficult for you to align your thoughts that a spiritual woman and a “meet me at the door naked” first-date type of girl can exist within one person. But that’s who I am. By now, you may have deduced that there is nothing traditional about me. I don’t believe in picket fences, and for some reason, have always been allergic to wedding bands. It’s not that I don’t want to be married. Not at all. I love the idea. I just can’t seem to figure out how to make the happily-ever-after part of it work.

But then, as I write these words, one of the secrets of my healing stares right back at me — How could you love another, Lynda, when you’ve never really felt you, yourself, was worthy of love?

Definitely a bad affirmation, but at that time in my life, I still had a lot of self-love issues that needed my attention.

It was December 21, 2007, just four days before Christmas, and in front of me stood my dream man. I had visualized him in my mind and had written down my wish list of attributes — age appropriate, successful nerd (he even looks like Bill Gates), living in Seattle (only because that’s the home of Starbucks & Amazon), handsome, fun, and single.

His seventeen-year-old daughter and her girlfriends were the ones who’d prepared his online profile — without a photo — on the dating site where I’d stumbled across him. Yes, he’d known about it, sanctioned it even, but they’d had to do the work. They’d tirelessly sifted through numerous responding women, and I was one of their top choices.

After many hours getting to know each other on Skype and Yahoo, as much as two people can know each other who’ve never actually met, there he and I finally were, meeting in person.

As I previously mentioned, our online-relationship began while I was still living in Mexico and I was supposed to stop in Seattle so we could finally meet in person. But I’d gotten lost and stood him up. However, I was forgiven and have been ridiculously infatuated ever since I looked into his mischievous, gentle, grey eyes.

There was also sadness within those eyes. Throughout our first evening, I learned about the woman he’d loved, who had died a few years before from Multiple Sclerosis. With all my man’s scientific brilliance, he cursed himself because he hadn’t been able to find the answers to save her.

As our night unfolded, and well into the next day, we shared our pain and our hopes, and continued to build a strong bond. I knew from the first time we chatted online we had something special. And now that we were physically together, I only wanted to hold him and take away his pain.

This would turn out to be a major event in my life. Our time together was magical.

But life has a way…

 

 

© LOVE The Beat Goes On