We’re the generation that don’t want relationships

I received this in my email tonight from Jay Shetty. It truly made me think. I responded to his thought with those of my own. I may be a different generation, but unfortunately I can relate to this message in ways that make me … well, let’s simply say I can relate. Can you?

On Feb 5, 2019, at 3:22 PM, Jay Shetty <email@jayshetty.me> wrote:

Hi Lynda 

We want a Facebook official relationship everyone can like and
comment on.

We want that Instagram #relationshipgoals post.We want a Taco Tuesday partner, someone to text us good morning on Wednesday.

We want a +1 for all the weddings we keep getting invited to.“How did
they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?” 

But we are the generation who doesn’t want a relationship.

We swipe right in hopes of finding the right person.

We want the facade of a relationship, but we don’t want the work of one.

We hang out, happy hour, go to coffee, and grab a beer – anything to
avoid an actual date.
We don’t want relationships – we want “friends with benefits”.

We want all the rewards and none of the risk.All of the payout and none of the cost.

We want to connect – enough, but not too much.

We want to commit – a little, but not a lot.

Anything that will give us the illusion of a relationship, without being in
an actual relationship.

We want a placeholder, not a person.

We want a warm body, not a partner.

We sit around with friends discussing the rules, but no one even knows
the game we’re trying to play.…

Because the problem with our generation not wanting relationships is
that, at the end of the day, we actually do.

Do you think we’re the generation who doesn’t want relationships?
What do you think we’re really looking for? 

All the best, 
Jay Shetty

Oprah(isms)

What you do have control over is how you re-act to whatever happens in your life.

What we all become is exactly what we believe we can.

My confidence comes from knowing there is something greater than myself that I am a part of and also is a part of me.

How I think one masters one’s life is understanding that you are  co-creating that life with the ultimate Creator. You cannot survive in this world just believing in yourself. You are not big enough to do it.

The fact that you are here, matters.

This is no accident. None of us are…

Every single thing that has happened in your life is preparing you for the moment that is to come.

I am who I am looking for…

I am who I have been looking for…

We are all searching for something. And maybe this message is it.

I want to give you something of who I am and how I see the world. I hope this video will make you smile. 

I’m counting down the days to my voyage of discovery. I visualized this journey for years. And now that I’ve made the decision to travel for a few months, I admit it, I’m nervous yet so very, very excited.

Still, let me not forget that no matter where I go and what I do, I take myself with me“I am the one I’ve been looking for, and I am already enough.”

I’ve spent an hour listening to this video over and over again. This is my gift to you. I hope you love the message and that it’s exactly what you need to hear today.

I am enough.

Is it really that simple?

What is your best advice for staying youthful and healthy as long as you can?

It’s really simple to me. So enjoy the wisdom I shared on Quora tonight. Here’s my list.

  1. Be happy. There is nothing that ages us more than bitterness, and recriminations.
  2. Don’t live in the past. Embrace the present. Refuse to worry about the future because the future never comes.
  3. Laugh a lot, smile often. If you’re a woman, it hides the wrinkles. Life will try to take you down, throw curve balls that will bring you to your knees. Stand tall, be strong, never look back.
  4. LOVE, love yourself, love your life, love the planet, love your family, love your partner(s). Don’t be stingy with your love.
  5. Have no regrets. Never apologize about your life choices and decisions. You can’t change them, even if they were wrong in hindsight… let that stuff go.
  6. Don’t worry about the one that got away. If you’re too busy worrying about a bad relationship or marriage, you’re too bitter to notice the one ahead of you that might be that elusive soul-mate.
  7. Always lead with your heart. Yes, you will screw up, whether it’s in friendships, or with a child, or a mate. Forgive yourself often. You’re only human.
Lynda Filler Author 2019

Inspiration, where does it come from?

I’m often asked this question.

I have a love/hate relationship with my Muse.

My inspiration comes from all kind of places. It depends on what I’m writing at the time. Right now I’m deep into the theme/plot process that I need to follow before I can begin to write a novel. But two books are vying for my attention and that’s like having twin babies that both demand to be fed right now!

Music inspires me. Current affairs get my creative juices flowing. And dreams. Oh how I love my dreams.

Lately I’ve been watching Netflix thriller series and wondering if they have invaded my senses and taken over my mind. Theme after theme competes with ideas that I keep writing down for Luke and Samaar to explore.

Then last night I watched/listened to Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour. That feeds my Muse for my Contemporary Romance series, “Lie to Me.” That upcoming novel already has a theme song The Essence of Us. I play that song non-stop while I’m working through what’s going on with Layla’ life. The emotion in Taylor Swift’s songs, and the outpouring of love from her fans is so inspiring.

A friend asked me recently if I still write poetry. The answer will always be, yes. I remember my first published poem. I think I was 25. I wrote it for my sister’s 21st birthday. I did a photoshoot with her and had the black and white image placed on a wooden plaque and superimposed the words to the poem on top. The first few lines were: One day, when I know who I am and where I am going and what I want will you still love me for the woman I am... I often whisper those words to myself…

Today was a strange day. Late to bed last night, early to rise, and back to sleep in the afternoon. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I think I already told you I’m leaving Mexico for a while or permanently, and traveling to the Middle and Far East. Whenever I make a major change in my life, my dreams change. It’s rather exciting. It’s like getting a coupon book for free movies, only they turn out to be foreign films with Spanish subtitles. I know I’m weird. Just go with it. I decided to share this afternoon’s dream with you.

By the way, my first novel award-winning Target in the Sun is FREE, an exciting Contemporary Suspense story on Amazon Download today. If you’ve already read it, thanks. Why not gift one to a friend?

I LOVE that story. I hope you will too.

Thanks for following my work.

Does Happily Ever After Exist?

It’s been a while since I worked on a novel. I have four storylines that are competing for my attention, and I can’t seem to focus in on one over the other. So I get my dose of daily writing when I hang out on Quora for a bit. I thought you might enjoy my answer to a rather shallow question. It might be TMI, but then, those of you who know me understand that I’m an open book, a work in progress, and a constantly evolving woman.

This month I’m packing up my life. I’ve sold everything and will begin a journey to places I’ve never been. I have a set departure and a few locations in France, India, Turkey, and Israel that are booked. But once I arrive in Bangkok, I will be free-falling… I have no set date of return to Mexico, although my friends who’ve become a family, believe I will return. I’m not sure.

This is going to be an interesting time. I will blog, post photos here and on IG, FB, Twitter. And I’ll do live videos on FB and my YouTube channel. I promise it will be fun, and a bit crazy. I see the world in strange and wondrous ways.

Back to Quora and the question I couldn’t resist answering: Am I shallow to want to date a woman with a fuller figure?

We all have our preferences. Some of us take a lifetime to truly understand what we like. I’m attracted to eyes. They mirror not only the soul but kindness and mischief. When a man looks at me with ‘those eyes’ I’m in trouble! And a very good kind of trouble it is!

So first it’s eyes, then it’s soul, then it’s brains—I love smart men. They’re usually cocky and annoying and can make you feel inadequate in a way that’s rather adorable. They are adult men with this immense sense of wonder about the subjects that fascinate them. And even though the subjects may be way out of reach for me, I’m wildly attracted to the light, that almost childish sense of wonder as they work through their discoveries, day after day.

And then there is sexy. That comes in all shapes and sizes but I definitely have a type in that area too. I won’t reveal myself because then I’d be at a disadvantage. I get a reaction, an immediate jolt when I find someone attractive. It’s generally mutual. If it’s not, I ignore the feelings and move on.

Am I shallow? Yes. In some ways that I won’t go into here. I have definite physical things that work for me and I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t fit into my likes. Maybe I will one day…

I’m still looking for ‘the one’ who makes my heart sing, speaks to my soul, who will love me and show me that happily ever after truly exists.

I admit it…

It’ been awhile. Have you wondered what happened to me?

I’m unpredictable, enigmatic, and always evolving. If any of my past relationships (men) are reading my blog, you can stop smiling now! I write sporadically, sometimes about topics that make you smile, shake your head, and check the post, wondering if I wrote it at all. “This is me,” as a dear friend of mine would say.

When you begin to understand me, I will do a 180 and you have to start all over again. It’s 2019. I rarely look backward, instead, I prefer to move on and live in the moment, moving towards the future. I have many amazing and beautiful things that happened in 2018, including taking back my emotional life and healing a very sad heart. Well, let me think about what I just said. I’m a woman. Do we ever truly heal our hearts? If we are open to love we will always be putting our hearts back together. So rather than look at 2018 let’s move right on into 2019!!

I have lived in Puerto Vallarta, on and off, since 2002. I fell in love with Mexico in the late 90’s. Many believe I moved here for a man. Let’s just say that I moved here out of love… a love that encompassed self-love, a lover, and a need to save my life rather than stay in a bad marriage and die a little each day.

And now the time has come to move on. I’m not saying I will never come back. But there are places to go and people to meet and stories to write and experiences to live, and love…yes, there will always be love.

I’m traveling first to the USA, then Paris to see my son and grandson, then I will visit India. I’ve never been before so if you have any places in India that touched your heart or spoke to your soul, please share them with me. After India I will spend a couple of days in Istanbul, and then I will have my birthday in Israel. First I will stay very close to the Wailing Wall, in the Arab Quarter in Jerusalem. Just writing this sends shivers up and down my spine. I’m drawn to the Holy Lands like many before me. I suppose my Catholic upbringing has a lot to do with that, but so does the life and death of IDZ, and the exploits of Samaar and Raven (operatives in my series, Code Raven– the first 3 are .99 cents).

After Israel I will go to Bangkok. From there I have absolutely no plans, but I will visit and possibly stay, in Bali. I will follow … my dreams.

Yesterday a friend of mine looked me in the eye and said, ‘You’re following your heart. You’re in love with him.” I objected profusely. “I’m in love with life, with travel, with places I’ve never been to and people I have yet to meet.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled. And then we both laughed.

Do I have a return ticket? No. I never look back and rarely go back, I always move forward. “But, will you come back to Mexico?”

“I always follow my heart.”

The prequel and the first two books in Code Raven Series available for .99 cents on Amazon

FREE Gifts!

Happy Holidays Everyone.

Here’s my first Christmas Gift…

The Code Raven Series is so much fun to write. We are up to seven books now. In the last installment, I’ve added characters and expanded the series. I hope you enjoy this first in the series–after Code Raven the prequel.

XPOSED

FREE! Download, Gift to friends for their new iPads, Kindles. This suspense thriller uncovers a dark and dangerous world of high-level intrigue, passion, power, and greed.Luci and Luke at their most intriguing!

XPOSED 

“I love a good action flick, and this book is on the top of my list. Right out of the gate we are tossed into a dire situation, and things only escalate from there.” Amazon Reviewer

“Overall I loved this book, this series, and it’s definite super high recommendation from me.” Amazon Reviewer

“XPOSED by Lynda Filler is the first book in her Code Raven series. Exciting and fast paced this book will leave you wanting more.
Luci has retired from her old life. After retrieving millions of stolen dollars she has taken her daughter and created a life as far removed from her previous one as possible.
Except she can’t leave it fully behind. On the run from her enemies, she finds herself in the company of The Ravens – a group of elite members with a certain skill set.
She is introduced and immediately recruited by their leader, Luke. Thrown into a war between the US and China Luci finds herself racing all over the world to try and stop the threat they are facing.” Amazon Reviewer

“The author does an excellent job of providing captivating moments with intrigue, suspense, and steam. This book features a series of characters that are a part of the Raven Group and their camaraderie is well captured. I found this easy to read as the story pulls you through. It includes a well-played mix of suspense within it. Overall, I really liked this book and would highly recommend to any crime, mystery, and/or suspense lover.” Amazon Reviewer

Why travel?

India

I’m embarking on a journey-of-a-lifetime. In the next 48 hours, I will book my destinations! So many people have asked me why I’m going. Why now?

I’ve sold all my possessions, and yes, I’m taking my photos, and small family heirlooms. So my blogs/vlogging/books/photography will take a different spin over the next six months. Get ready. I promise you it’s going to be amazing and I’m taking you with me!!

Why travel? Her’s what AirTreks have to say:

1. Traveling is easier than you think.

We believe that traveling around the world shouldn’t be hard: it’s actually something everyone should be able to do at least once in their lives. Whether you choose to spend a few years or just a couple months traveling this beautiful planet, it’s important to see what’s out there. It’s up to you to make the dream come true and take the first step. Launch TripPlanner to piece together and price your ideal route. Not sure where to start?  You can always call one of our travel consultants and get some complimentary advice!

2. Travel opens your eyes.

If you’re open and willing, travel will make you an incredibly more well-rounded human being. And that’s really the goal, isn’t it? If you don’t know where to start, check out our Around the World planning guide.

3. Traveling helps you learn who you are.

Bali

All the challenges and opportunities travel lays at your feet help you discover who you are in a way that’s only possible on the road.

4. Travel creates meaningful relationships

People you meet while on the road become some of the most valued names on your contact list. They become places on the map to visit later on. These folks give you a glimpse outside your hometown circle of friends, and force you to take in new and refreshing perspectives, and ultimately realize that everyone is the same.

5. Traveling develops skills you didn’t know you had

Sometimes it’s only far from home that you realize you you’ve got skills you’ve never used. It’s travel that brings them to the surface and makes you smile, satisfied to have reached the mountain top, or  crossed a gorge  or helped a villager clean up after a storm, or even to have successfully ordered a meal at a rural Chinese restaurant.

6. Travel helps you learn new languages

There’s something satisfying about being able to throw around a few words of Greek, knowing how to say thanks in Thai, pulling out that long dormant Spanish to book a room in Santiago, or simply hearing a language you didn’t know existed just a few weeks before.

The Dome of the Rock

7. Travel means adventure

Zip-lining over the jungle canopy in Peru, successfully navigating the maze-like streets of Venice, bartering for the best price in the traditional markets of Marrakech, taking a speedboat ride in New Zealand, or hopping in a Land Rover and heading out to watch animals grazing  in Tanzania: these are adventures worth having. People are hardwired for the excitement of adventure and travel may just be the best way to tap into it.

8. Traveling gives you perspective

Meeting people from other cultures will teach you that the way you’ve been looking at the world isn’t the way everybody else does. In fact, your point-of-view might have some major blind spots. Seeing the world for yourself will improve your vision and your grip on reality.

9. Travel helps you move forward

If you’re between jobs, schools, kids, or relationships, around the world travel can be a perfect way to move from one of these life stages into your next great adventure. A big trip won’t just ease your transition into the next stage of your life, it’ll give you a chance to reflect on where you’ve been, where you’re going, and where you want to end up.

10. Travel is education

Seeing the world provides an education that’s absolutely impossible get in school. Travel teaches you economy, politics, history, geography, and sociology in an intense, hands-on way no class will.  Fortunately, the school of travel is always taking applications, no entrance exam required.

11. Travel challenges you

Getting your daily latte at the same place and staring at your screen at your nine-to-five every day not nearly interesting enough? Even if you choose to work on the road (and keep staring at the screen), you’ll have to find a new place to drink your latte, and depending on your destination, finding coffee, and foamy milk or a good place to sip them could prove to be a sizeable challenge. Travel is full of moments of joy and challenges. Overcoming the challenges gives you some of the greatest joys of all.

12. Travel shakes things up

It sucks to be stuck in a rut. Everyone knows what that’s like. A big trip can be your perfect solution. Fly around the world, stopping over in all of the places you’ve always wanted to visit. Go ahead and plan your ideal route around the world (it’s easier than you think!)

13. Traveling proves that dreams do come true

You imagined it, daydreamed about it, envisioned it. Guess what? It can be done. Around the world travel is possible, you just have to decide you’re willing to take the first step and start planning your itinerary.  What are you waiting for? We’ve put together some specials to inspire you to live your dream.

14. Travel gives you cool stories

Let’s face it. Even for folks who can’t tell a story, just the words “last year in Mongolia” get you instant party points.  Even when events seem trivial, nostalgia and distance create an irresistible spin that makes mundane things like getting your laundry done in Zanzibar, entertaining. Just don’t be that person and overdo it!

15. Travel is literally food for thought.

You’ll be constantly surprised at the flavors the world has to offer.  The way people in other cultures and countries prepare food, and break bread together (not that all cultures even eat bread) will astound you.

16. Travel gives you a sense of accomplishment

If you’re the kind of person that dreams big, you’re probably one to reach for new challenges. Finishing a trip gives you the satisfaction that you were able make a goal to travel and  accomplish what you set out to do–see the world.

17. Traveling for the hell of it

Why travel? Because you can. Because you want to. Because it beats the alternative (staying home). Why not pick up your tickets and get the ball rolling!

Bali Mountains

I’m not mad

Salvador Dali

Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad.

Have no fear of perfection-you’ll never reach it. Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly.

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was a poet; the first to repeat it was an idiot.

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.

At the age of six years I wanted to be a chef. At the age of seven I wanted to be Napoleon. My ambitions have continued to grow at the same rate ever since. Every morning when I awake, the greatest of joys is mine: that of being Salvador Dali. There are some days when I think I’m going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.

I do not paint a portrait to look like the subject, rather does the person grow to look like his portrait.

Many people do not reach their eighties because they spend too much time in their forties.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.

by Salvador Dali

Thanks to Paulo Coehlo reblogged from http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2018/12/20/im-not-mad/