What is one thing I can do to give my life a makeover?

This is a great question I was asked recently on Quora. I thought it would be worthy to share.

I spent most of my life running my own businesses or managing teams of people for other corporations. I can tell one thing about people that challenged me on a daily basis: lack of self-esteem and self love!

I’m assuming this question is coming from a woman—it feels like it; but even that is a sexist remark that shows you how I feel about this subject. People lack self-worth and don’t value their own talents and abilities the way they should.

Maybe my thoughts can help you.

Start a journal and on the first page, write a list of things about yourself that you LOVE. If you have to think about it and can’t come up with 5 things quickly, we have a lot of “making over’ work to do! I’ll give you mine right off the top of my head without any thinking:

I’m funny and make a friend easily. I’m entertaining, charming, and love to tease. I’m sexy—yes, at my age, I got it all going on! I’m an adventurer, in business and in my personal life, a goal setter, a dreamer, a believer in the goodness of mankind, a lover, I lead from the heart. I really like myself.

We are taught, or at least my upbringing taught me to be humble, not to brag, not to flaunt myself or my accomplishments, to be good at things but to not stand out or look for accolades. I say bullshit! If you don’t love yourself, who will? And if you don’t come from a place of love, how can you ever love another?

We come into this world alone, and we go out alone. And sometimes, most of the time, we take this journey called life, by ourselves. You better learn to love who you are, focus on your strengths, and let the other nonsense go. Never, ever put yourself down!

I feel like I could write a book about this, maybe I should! Actually, maybe I will. A lot of my thoughts and principles are in LOVE The Beat Goes On, a memoir. By the way, my books are free to read with Kindle Unlimited membership!

Good luck on this journey we call life. My advice to the hundreds of people I led every day is we only go through this world once. Learn to laugh off the nonsense, and play to your strengths. Learn to love yourself first, and the rest will fall into place.

Oprah(isms)

What you do have control over is how you re-act to whatever happens in your life.

What we all become is exactly what we believe we can.

My confidence comes from knowing there is something greater than myself that I am a part of and also is a part of me.

How I think one masters one’s life is understanding that you are  co-creating that life with the ultimate Creator. You cannot survive in this world just believing in yourself. You are not big enough to do it.

The fact that you are here, matters.

This is no accident. None of us are…

Every single thing that has happened in your life is preparing you for the moment that is to come.

Is your inner voice out of control?

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I write the story in combination with a voice that I don’t want to control. Sometimes the words that flow out of my stories shock me, make me smile, and even make me cry. That’s why I have to write. I think in story form. I see mystery and plots in everything. My inner life is so rich with wonder that I lay awake at night because my mind doesn’t want to go to sleep.

Having said that, in one of my novellas The Lei Crime Series: NARCO ORPHANS (Kindle Worlds Novella) got its title from an event that crept onto my page in the middle of a Federale attack on a drug cartel base in the mountains. It was not in the plot at all; but suddenly… Magic.

Are there times when I wonder if the story I’ve written will find it’s audience? Yes, that lack of confidence happens. So I used a different editor for my current WIP. It was outside my comfort zone to publish a novel that explored sexuality in a way I’d never done before. I asked her to read it and tell me if it was good enough to be published. I was okay with sidelining the novel (it was written a couple of years ago) and not putting-it-out-there. This is what she wrote: I LOVED this story. It was engrossing, fun, emotional, sexy, and even a little unnerving at times. It was perfect!

I write memoir/suspense/action/romantic suspense and recently got nominated for Best Contemporary Book by BTRC2017 for Target In The Sun (Carlos & Mia Book 1). I have a fan base and I never want to disappoint them. With this latest novel, I will attract a wider fan base. The book is totally sexual and has adult content. It unnerved me at times as well.

But in the end, as a writer, I put myself out there, my heart on my sleeve and ask my fans to love my work. Some will, some won’t, and that’s okay.

How did you start over after you had lost everything? How did you get your life together? Q

 

I’ve done it twice.

The first time I left an abusive husband. I’d attempted to leave twice before but he always found me and forced me to come back. He would come to my place of work, cause trouble, and get me fired. Or he would get the landlord to let him into my apartment saying I was a drug addict and he was worried I’d over dosed because I wasn’t answering the phone. Of course, the landlord would want me out. I felt helpless and scared.11377228_10152976883964150_596180098820635031_n

One day I packed my suitcase and placed my Old English sheepdog with a man I’d met in the dog park—my ex had threatened to kill my dog! Then I took a bus to another city and lived with a family I knew in their basement for two weeks. I had $200 in my bank account, bad memories, and bruises. It took him a month to find me but by then I was settled had found a great job and had rescued my sheepdog. There was no way I was going back and he knew it.

The second time was different because I was happily married with two young boys and a husband. I hadn’t lost everything but it felt like everything—my home and my business. Economic downturns can be challenging for anyone. Again I packed up my family, made a decision about our future and moved across the country to start all over again.

It was a challenge to be sure. But here’s what works for me:

  1. I never look back.
  2. I always believe in myself.
  3. I never let depression overtake me.
  4. I always know I will land on my feet and find success again.
  5. I listen to my cheerleaders: My mother used to tell me how proud she was of me. And now it’s my sister who’s taken over that role.

I put one foot in front of the other and keep on going!

 

Read more about Lynda’s life/challenges and she will share her simple but powerful mindset ideas.

A Warrior Woman’s Words of Wisdom

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Image Source: Getty / Gregg DeGuire as posted on PopSugar

LOVE her Wisdom… I needed to hear/read this today. Maybe it’s for you too. I’ll list my favorites and the link to the article is at the bottom.

On Dreams:

“I was never the cool kid, I was never hot in high school. I was never popular. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to be rich and you can still be successful.” — V Magazine

On Acceptance:

“I have channeled my feelings of severe hopelessness and depression, I’ve overcome obstacles, and I have found strength in myself even when it felt out of reach. I’ve found what I had thought was an unobtainable place of peace. This song is about coming to feel empathy for someone else even if they hurt you or scare you. It’s a song about learning to be proud of the person you are even during low moments when you feel alone. It’s also about hoping everyone, even someone who hurt you, can heal.” — Lenny Letter (on her new single, “Praying”)

On Determination:

“If anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do what you want to, I think you should give them the finger and do it anyway.” — V Magazine

 

Thanks to PopSugar and Quinn Keaney

https://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/Kesha-Best-Quotes-40400763?stream_view=1#photo-40402846