Why did it hurt so much?

What was the most difficult thing you had to deal with after writing and publishing your personal story or memoir?

To understand what I’m about to reveal, let me explain that in 2008 I was given 6 months to live! I was diagnosed with a heart condition that I didn’t know I had but the symptoms had been with me for at least a year. After months of treatment and absolutely no improvement, the doctors told me to “get my affairs in order”—and they weren’t referring to my love life!

Writing LOVE The Beat Goes On was the most amazing experience for me, and yet, so highly personal and revealing. I cried a lot and laughed too. There’s a great quote I read after I published it: When you write a memoir, there’s no place to hide. I also read a comment about memoirs that said there is rarely truth in a memoir. Two very differing points of view and both equally correct.

The book won medals, and was chosen as a Book of the Month club selection, and read by groups, and sits at 4.5 Stars in the top 25 of Amazon Health, Fitness books. BUT, I got one super hurtful nasty review. The writer compared me to Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat Pray Love which I loved, but the review said basically that I (and Liz) was a woman of passion and privilege. I can’t argue the passion, but what hurt so much was the “privilege.”

My immediate thoughts went to my upbringing. My Dad was a military guy with all the challenges of returning from war. He drank, he smoked and I only recall bad times that ended in arguments between my mom and him. I also remember bearing the brunt of his anger and leaving the supper table daily in tears. But those times helped me become independent and self-sufficient.

We moved every three years—I still have difficulty staying in one place and forming attachments—including marriages. I found out I divorce very well. I had my first job at the age of 11, washing hair in a beauty salon on the weekends. And I worked my butt off my entire life—built businesses, lost them, and kept on going. Hardly a privileged life.

I don’t say these things for pity. I don’t believe in self-pity or blame. I mention them as facts. The same way I might smile when I buy a new pair of shoes. When I was a kid, I got a new pair of shoes when there was a hole in the sole and the cardboard that blocked the hole didn’t work anymore.

This was the only life I knew. And I learned from it. I came away strong and independent and determined to make a place for myself in the world. I brought up my boys, I supported my family, and when fate gave me 6 months to live, I never ever gave up my belief that I could and would heal myself.

It’s okay to dislike my personal story or not feel hope and inspiration for the way I fought through those challenges and defied the doctors’ diagnoses. But the personal attack, that was so painful. It brought back a ton of memories, you know, those deeply buried bad things that you never tell anyone!

When you write about your life, you will always be scrutinized. And let me tell you, it’s really hard not to take it personally. But the good news is, I get emails almost daily from people that have been inspired or are suffering from the same condition as I was, and I know I’ve made a difference in their lives. And for that, I would tell my story over and over again.

Thanks for asking.

Answered in Quora


I should be dead!

 

4Love The Beat Goes On

Will I die from a broken heart?

I know I’ve caught your attention with my double entendre. But that’s why I wrote it.

What would you do if your doctor gave you six months to live? I’ve heard many answers to this question. Some say, get a second opinion. Well, the second and third and fourth opinions were more depressing than the first!

In 2007 I was experiencing symptoms of heart failure but being the know-it-all that I am, I was self-diagnosing instead of immediately visiting a doctor. I walked around basically having mini-heart attacks without realizing what was happening to me. Women, in general, are neglectful of their health. We tend to be the nurturers and rarely allow ourselves to be nurtured.

For several months I experienced shortness of breath and I decided–after much research on the internet–that I was allergic to sinus medications. Well, in a way I was correct. The “D” in the meds was setting off my already dilated heart. But I had no idea how lucky/unlucky I was. The fact that I lived through that year having mini-heart attacks (layman’s language for your benefit) is its own miracle. And yet, here I am to tell the story.

All this was happening throughout the summer of 2007. In mid-October, I decided to accept an offer to work in Whistler for the winter. After living in Puerto Vallarta full time for several years, I was ready for a change. I packed my red Jeep Liberty and drove by myself from Mexico to Canada. It was amazing. It was exciting, dramatic, stunning and liberating. I did photography and wrote poetry, and stopped at cafes and lived along the sea for two weeks. It was the trip of a lifetime.

Upon the arrival in Whistler, a mountainous region in British Columbia, I was experiencing shortness of breath again. I had a new excuse: I blamed it on the change of altitude!

But all that changed in January of 2008.

I’ve written my memoir of this time, the things I did, and the reasons I believed I had this disease. But, I will tell you one thing. In 2008 the London Cardiomyopathy website online had over 5 million followers. The medical professionals stated emphatically that there was no cure for Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy. After six months of treatments, my doctors concurred. The specialist told me to get my affairs in order. 

I waited until 2017 to write my story. I was been ‘cured’ completely since 2012. “What if you die,” one friend said. But I wanted to share my story. After all, we will all die eventually. If I’d given into depression and not done the things that made the difference, I wouldn’t be here to write this story. Think of all the experiences I would have missed, the people I have loved, the birth of my grandson, the books I’ve written and the love I’ve received in my life.

No matter what is going on, this memoir will change your life and remind you to never give up and always believe in miracles.

LOVE The Beat Goes On is on sale on Amazon for downloads at $.99 cents. If this is not affordable for you, I understand. Please contact me on FB Msn and I will gladly send you a copy for free.

Thanks for your love and ongoing support of my passion to write stories for you.

 

Past lives? Angels? You decide.

 

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I usually don’t do first-person on my blog but when people come into your life and guide you towards a profound shift, I think it might help others. So here goes.

I’ve been suffering from chronic sinus challenges for decades. I had a minor operation which seemed to help—years ago. But certainly, for the last several years, it’s been an ugly challenge in my life. These past twelve months have been insane. It seems every month, I finish a dose of antibiotics and five days later, I’m back at the doctors. I keep telling myself, if that’s all that’s wrong with me, go with it and stop complaining. But—it’s not normal! Yes, I’ve done the x-rays—nothing abnormal. Even last summer when I went to Europe, I took antibiotics with me, the same way you might take your vitamins.

This brings me to yesterday. Since the 29th of December, I’ve spent 21 days on antibiotics and still, yesterday I was sure I had the infection back. This week I started treating myself with natural remedies, ginger, lemon juice, honey, cinnamon, and hot water and that has definitely made me feel better. And I lost 8 lbs. on VIVRI and that’s been great. Still, something happened the night before, I wasn’t feeling great, and I was all blocked up, and I went back to the doctor for another dose of sinus meds.

Can I say I love my new doctor? She’s young, Mexican, beautiful and very smart. But more than that, she’s caring. She’s also the one who gave me my last dose of medication about three weeks ago. She checked me out and shook her head. No, there’s no infection and then she said: Tell me about your life.

I looked around. I had trouble looking her in the eye. And I started to cry. Not a big cry or a sobbing… just leaking. You know what I mean? I told her about my personal life–she started to ask about sex but I wasn’t going there at all! And here she is, a stranger who wants to take the time to help you when your physical problems might just be related to your emotional life…

You see, I have this friend who has been dying for years…and years…and yet holds on. It’s as if we both live in limbo. And I can’t go forward and we can’t go back and change the past. I can’t leave and I can’t let go. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I think I’m addicted to home renovation shows because the family’s happiness at the end allows me to cry. I don’t cry—ever. But lately, the tears come at awkward moments. Like yesterday, with a doctor, I hardly know.

I sat there in front of this wonderful caring young woman and I couldn’t speak. I knew. I just knew that whatever she was thinking at that moment, was correct. Sometimes the things we hold in emotionally have to find their way to the surface somehow. I can go back in my life right now and measure the worst bouts I’ve had with this physical problem and see that they are truly connected to issues of my emotional heart. When my marriage was dissolving in Whistler, when I split with C, and now…

I’m kind of surprised at myself that I never made the connection. After all, I wrote LOVE, The Beat Goes On about the emotional aspects of healing and how I worked on my emotional heart and healed it after I was given six months to live in 2008. I told her about that part of my story, and the Shaman in Sedona, and my fractured soul. And I sat there and shook my head. Unshed tears. Years and years of hope and despair and hope again. An old expression came into my mind as I write this blog: Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees.

She refused to take payment for my visit, instead, she asked for a hug. I left her office with a new understanding. Yes, people do come into your life for a reason. And I do believe in angels and past-lives.

I’ve taken the first step. I’m opening myself up to dealing with something I’ve buried for so long. I think I’m tired of caring for everyone else and it’s time to wrap myself up in my fleecy robe and learn to love myself all over again.

I think my mother is watching over me from wherever our spirits go when we die, and sent me an earthly angel to help me move on from sorrow and find my light again.

 

 

 

 

3:00 am thoughts…emotional intelligence…

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I’ve been accused of being a Pollyanna. If you’re young you might miss the reference. It basically means I always see the glass as half-full not half empty. That’s my attitude towards life and living. So depressing thoughts rarely last long in my mind.

I live by the theory that we are a product of our thoughts—our emotional intelligence possibly. So if we constantly live in fear of the future, resentment of past hurts, or our story of all the bad things that have happened to us, we can never be happy. I don’t allow my heart or head to hold depressing thoughts. It takes work. And sometimes it will take a lifetime to achieve this sense of peace and balance that I have. It’s a challenge. If you’re aware of when you go into that negative place, you stop, catch yourself, and pull yourself back. Then depression never has time to take a hold of your mind.

The reality is, the last time I had a depressing thought was when I was given 6 months to live in 2008. LOVE The Beat Goes On is the book I wrote and all the things I did to clean up my thoughts and heal my broken heart. I truly believe we are made up of our thoughts, and our mind can heal just about anything… But then I also believe in miracles!

So there you go, my philosophical thoughts for 3:00 am on a Saturday morning. I apologize in advance if I’m not coherent.

If This Book Could Save Lives…

Lynda’s story will help someone avoid the health crises that plague our society today. Attention to early warning signs, self-care, emotional intelligence, and self-love are all concepts that Lynda covers in her personal and sometimes humorous story of how she went from 6 months to live in 2008 to cured and living a healthy life today. Insurance companies should give this book with every policy written. Heal yourself one heart beat at a time. 

 

on May 18, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition
I hadn’t heard of Dilated Cardiomyopathy before reading this book. But, I know any number of people who have been given a death sentence and suffer years of treatment. When Lynda Filler was given this same prognosis, she decided to defy the odds and embrace life. Her choice to believe the impossible and live the imaginable is truly inspirational. I loved her energy, her zest for life – both of which are evident on every page of this book.
There are no clear answers, no step by step directions; rather, Filler’s message is simple, follow JOY. Set negativity aside and follow what you love. Fill your hours with that which gives you life. I highly recommend this jewel of a book.
on March 31, 2017
Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is going in the birthday bags, Christmas stockings and every get well package that I send this year. Lynda Filler’s journey through cardiomyopathy is amazing, inspiring, and thought-provoking about more than just illness. Anyone facing a major obstacle, a fork in the road, or looking to reinvent their lives would benefit from a journey through Lynda’s heart and soul story.
Format: Paperback
Often self-help or books that offer advice on how to improve your life are pedantic or so “new-agey” to be taken seriously. This is not true of Lynda Filler’s book Love The Beat Goes On.
Appropriately titled, the book chronicles the author’s own life experiences, beginning with what was essentially a death sentence. Diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy, her life expectancy in 2008 was about five years. From the beginning Filler was determined to survive and enjoy a healthy and rewarding life. Her journey provides many lessons for readers ill or fit. Following her as she navigates the health care systems, spiritual awakening, and self-awakening the reader can’t help but become invested in her story.
Throughout the book, she reminds her readers to follow their physician’s recommendations and take medications as prescribed. Her book is not about medical advice. It is the telling of how her determination and positive vision has enabled her to long outlive the dismal prognosis of early doctors. Dedicated to living a full life and doing the things she enjoys, Filler did things most people with a bleak and hopeless future would not even dream of. Traveling extensively, driving from Mexico to British Columbia, following spiritual paths many would not consider, Filler took charge of her future.
After telling a remarkable and inspiring tale, the author devotes the final chapters of her book to “Heart Habits”; methods readers can use to overcome negativity and enhance their quality of life. By using creativity, developing a positive spiritual outlook, and exercising mind and body, Filler improved her health and lengthened her life well past her doctor’s forecast.
If you do no more than read this book as an autobiographical journey, you will come away with a smile on your face. This is an uplifting and inspiring book. Personally, I plan to use some of Filler’s “techniques” to begin my own journey to a healthier and more vibrant life.
on April 27, 2017
Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase
I loved this book! First of all, when I saw the cover, I was intrigued. As I turned page after page so many instances, names, and locations were absolutely familiar to me. Wayne Dyer snippets. I knew them all. Although I was unfamiliar with cardiac problems, I found all the medical information fascinating and can honestly say I enjoyed every minute. From medical emergencies to romantic scenarios to paranormal events, this book was one happy surprise after another.
on April 15, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I will agree with the author, Lynda Filler, in the one thing that she stresses in LOVE The Beat Goes On, “Don’t Google your illness.” I’d add to that, “Don’t Google your illness if you are ignorant of its variations and do not know where to get to right advice.” Similarly, realize that when a doctor tells you to get your things in order, that your disease is in an acute phase, but, it may not stay that way. Acute illnesses, even ones affecting the heart, may go away, just like the measles and the mumps do. The condition that remains is the chronic disease, which is less dangerous in many instances.
There are many conditions that Google might give a ten-year life expectancy for the acute phase, whereas in a chronic phase of that condition one would be able to live with the disease for a normal length lifespan, or an only slightly shortened life expectancy.Yes, avoid doing blind medical research on Google if you do not have a trusted medical guide, as that can only alarm you.The author, with her doctor, and mentors’ assistance, and her courage, determination and positive attitude combined, reclaimed a healthy life.Even if she remains with a symptom-free, mild, chronic version of the condition, there is no reason why that should worsen.As we mature, we have chronic illnesses, or disease, in common. I applaud Lynda Filler for having regained her health and for sharing her journey through this book. An excellent, inspirational read.
 

 

Meet Author Lynda Filler

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BY

Hello lovelies! Welcome to Interview FoxSeat with author Lynda Filler

“The author’s style is reminiscent of CLIVE CUSSLER, LEE CHILDS or BALDACCI.” N. Huff

Lynda Filler makes her home in sexy, sultry Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and writes both novellas and fiction. She’s been accused of writing autobiographical stories, but so far no can get her to admit it! She’s been writing her whole life but only started publishing with the encouragement of NYT/USA Best Selling author Russell Blake of the popular JET series. When she is not in Mexico, she travels to the Pacific Northwest or Paris, France to visit her children. She loves to hear from her fans on Face Book where you can find book news, crazy fun quotes, and photographs of both Mexico and Lynda’s travels. LOVE The Beat Goes On is her first non-fiction book.

Check out this sample: LOVE The Beat Goes On

Lynda Filler knows how it feels to be told you’re not healing, or your condition is incurable. She will tell you her story, how she walked around for months in denial with Congestive Heart Failure. She will explain the powerful, yet simple concepts and beliefs that she practiced that led to her healing. She is not a medical doctor. At no point will she undermine anything your physicians tell you to do.

Most of all, she will show you how she used these simple principles to design and live, the fully healed life she now enjoys in 2017.

You will shake your head in wonder, laugh, and maybe cry too. If you want less pain, worry, and stress about dis-ease and life in general, you will want to read this simple yet powerful story.

What is the current book you are promoting? Which writer inspired you? The current book I’m promoting is called LOVE The Beat Goes On. It was started in 2009 when the life I now live began. But the manuscript is very different from its original memoir format because of circumstances that remain ambiguous in my life. I talk around certain things. But in the story you will be able to read between the lines.

In the summer of 2015 when Dr. Wayne Dyer died, an event occurred that made me realize I needed to get my story out there sooner not later. In 2016 while reading Dr. Dyer’s book I Can See Clearly Now, I started LOVE.

I dedicated my book to him and my new grandbaby Félix.

 

 

 

https://mercedesfoxbooks.com/meet-author-lynda-filler-2/

# 1 I’ll Take That Anytime

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LOVE The Beat Goes On  Kindle and Paperback.

“amazing, inspiring, and thought provoking about more than just illness. Anyone facing a major obstacle, a fork in the road, or looking to reinvent their lives would benefit from a journey through Lynda’s heart and soul story.”

“I finished your book and loved it. It was not preachy and you were humble in how you arrived to this point in your life. You had purpose in wanting to live and that’s good.  I was surprised about the bit about being …*no spoilers* I couldn’t say that to the whole world. You are a free spirit.”

I keep telling myself it’s not a competition. But being #1 in Hot New Releases means AMAZON will take notice and send out promos to readers who traditionally read in this genre. And THAT means everything.
The biggest challenge an Indie Author has is time management. I love interacting with fans/readers. I had a thread going on Face Book the other night that went on for hours! It was fun. But the question is, will it produce sales or is it simply a black hole?
I want to write more and more. But time… I finally bought a great Life/Day Planner from Danielle LaPorte. It arrived this morning! I’m so excited I can’t stand myself. And as soon as I finish at my favorite haunt, Starbucks in Nuevo Vallarta, Mex, I’m getting right to it!
 WHAT WILL I DO TO FEEL THE WAY I WANT TO FEEL
Isn’t that perfect?
Thanks for buying my newest book LOVE  The Beat Goes On. It’s very personal and a life mission of mine to help those suffering from incurable or debilitating life events. Yes, there is a shocker in there, probably more than one. I debated putting it in or leaving it out. Then I remembered great advice in Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott on writing: “stop writing as if your mother is reading over your shoulder!” So I went for it.
Live each day as if it is your last. LIVE and LOVE my friends with passion and commitment.

The Little Voice Inside Our Head

I looked up the #1 book on Amazon on CREATIVITY. Do you want to know what it is?

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.  And # 2 is The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Creative Battles by Stephen Pressfield. When did the art of creating become such a painful process? Or is it cliché?

I love Dr. Brown’s lectures, writings and stories. The first time I watched her on TED, I was overwhelmed by emotion; and related to the simple principles she teaches. Vulnerability. Imperfection. Inadequacy.

Stephen Pressfield describes his book as overcoming “roadblocks” and setting up “battle plans.”

Are we really at “war” when we decide to create?

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I will admit when writing LOVE The Beat Goes On, my new release on Amazon, I dug deep. But I kept it together. I wonder how memoirists can spend years writing about past pain, trials and tribulations. I can’t imagine what it takes to go back and dig all that crap up. In LOVE, I chose to keep it short, and still… I cried. And cried some more. When you’re told to get your affairs in order–and I don’t mean the romantic kind–it’s scary! And dredging up those memories was super painful. But, the messages I’m receiving from first readers more than makes up for it. I would say the challeges of the creative process are worth it for me.

I choose to keep pages of quotes to inspire me. I throw them on my FB page. I do it for me. I use them as screensavers. There’s always a message that jumps out at me when I need it. And they help me by reminding me of my “Why.” Many talented people have gone before me, and I cherish their brilliant sound bites.

I think lots of creatives have become successful without fighting “battles.” We’re not all alcoholics, drug addicts or damaged people. But we all share one thing: we must be brave enough to put ourselves out there, to be open to criticism. I suppose that might classify a lot of us as… strange okay, maybe a wee bit crazy!

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Yes, these are quotes I can live by.

And finally, I found myself writing the initials I A E on my wrist this winter. Every time I felt inadequate, unworthy or just plain freaked out, I would look at my wrist and smile. And know in my heart that through my words some day in some way I could let someone know that LOVE is out there and you are not alone.

This one’s for YOU:

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I Never Saw That Coming!

Love The Beat Goes On 3

 

Last night started out like any other evening. I’m reading a great thriller book by an author I admire James N. Miller, No Pit So Deep: The Cody Musket Story Book 2. And I settled in to get lost in the story.

I received a text around 9 pm from my editor. I’m a fiction author. I write what I read—until I decided it was time to write my story. She’d sent my manuscript back for second edits. But first, let me give you some background.

In the summer of 2015, I was in a deep dream state and woke abruptly. A loud voice called to me: “Are you ready yet?” The sun was streaming in my window and I was laughing out loud. Dr. Wayne Dyer had died that week. He was on my mind and in my heart. I’d know his voice anywhere.

If you follow the New Thought Movement you will recognize Dr. Dyer’s name. I started reading his books and watching his You Tube videos many years ago; before we knew what new thought was. My sis and I were in Ottawa enjoying a Psychic/New Age weekend when I came upon Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. Hay House published Dr. Dyer’s books. Of course I bought it and lugged it around for at least twenty years until it was available on Kindle. It became a cornerstone in my spirituality as did Dr. Dyers works. From there, Reiki, Tarot, Visualization, Dream Analysis, and A Course in Miracles—these practices, and books related to them, became pivotal in my life.

So in 2008 when I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy I turned to the things that helped me evolve into the woman I am today. I’d built up a very low tolerance for negativity and acceptance of things that hurt and diminished me. I’ve got three divorces that will attest to that! And after several months of zero improvement to my heart, my cardiologist suggested I “get my affairs in order.” He used the word “incurable” which was devastating. But I was far from done.

I started writing my story at the end of 2009. But I wasn’t ready to publish it. And in 2015 Dr. Dyer asked me if was ready yet! It wasn’t until the end of 2016 that I felt the time was finally right. It’s my journey and a small but very significant part of my life. LOVE The Beat Goes On. I’ll share the link when it’s available on Amazon.

So let me go back to last night, where this story began—and the email. I started second edits like I would any other book; and then it hit me. It hit me that it’s 2017 and I’m alive! I get to share the things I did and how I felt, and the love that brought me back from near death.

I started to cry. And I couldn’t stop crying.

I don’t remember crying during the whole healing process. I only remember my determination to heal. One step led to another. I was guided to do the things that made my heart whole again.

And last night, it hit me. I couldn’t finish the editing for my tears.

Then the strangest thing happened. My computer file went crazy on me: weird lines and jumbled sentences. It was if all the spirits that helped me heal came out to play and celebrate!

Or maybe it was Dr. Wayne W. Dyer letting me know that he was watching over my shoulder and was so proud of me.

And now, I can’t stop smiling. Yes Dr. Dyer, I’m ready now.

 

 

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