Lovers

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© Lynda Filler Photography

 

Lovers

 

I look for you in darkness

moments when my heart

skips beats, breathless

with longing

and I pray for you

to rescue me

 

I look for you in aloneness

moments full and complete

wanting to share

in that middle place

where lovers go

and souls mate

 

I look for you in Paris

while lovers laugh

hands held

dreams shared

memories made

never to be repeated

 

I look for you

but you’re not here

 

© I (Spy) Love, Lynda Filler

 

 

Jan’s TOP TEN Books 2017

“Stories that affected me and lingered long after the last page.”
LOVE The Beat Goes On. Thanks, Jan.

#5

https://www.amazon.com/LOVE-Beat-Goes-Lynda-Filler-ebook/dp/B06XWGGS1L/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

Writing and Music

JAN'S TOP TENBOOK LIST20171 (1)#1

For_You_To_See_The_Stars   PURCHASE LINK

Hands down, this book easily takes the #1 spot this year. This is Foster’s first print publication. It is classic storytelling at its best. Foster writes with an uncommon depth of emotion, humor, empathy, and clarity.  Adding another dimension to this collection of short stories, Foster, a seasoned songwriter/musician, recorded a music CD which accompanies the book. Together, they make an unforgettable read/listen!

#2 

Heart_Of_A_Texas_CowboyMarryTexasOutlaw

PURCHASE LINK Heart of a Texas Cowboy

PURCHASE LINK To Marry a Texas Outlaw

Yes, I know there are two books sitting in this spot, but I couldn’t find a way to separate them. This “Men of Legend” series was amazing from beginning to end, and it just happens that parts two and three were both released this year. “Some Legends are born and some are made” describes this series perfectly about a father, Stoker Legend and three sons, Sam, Houston…

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Of God

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© Lynda Filler Photography

 

Of God

he seemed at times

slow to flow

like sweet molasses

my Southern Boy

 

m e a n d e r i n g

finding his way

 

t e r r i t o r y

he has mapped

long since

misplaced

with armor

no longer

needed

 

I watch a Hawk swoop down

in flight, too soon gone

 

taste the sweet

linger, my love

it takes my breath away

 

can you feel the chills

 

closer

come nearer

 

this could be of God

 

© Of God, I (Spy) Love  by Lynda Filler

 

 

 

 

I’m not that kind of girl…

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“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes
excerpt from LOVE The Beat Goes On:

 

7

Event One: My Cowboy

I’ll always remember his faded tan cowboy boots — scuffed, old, comfy — and the sky blue denim shirt stretched taut across powerful broad shoulders — my cowboy, as I refer to him. And I’ll definitely never forget that lustful smile on his lips when I answered his knock on my hotel room door.

I was naked… sort of.

I’m not usually that kind of girl… except the times when I am. And that was one of those times. I stood just inside the door to a room with a luxurious king-sized bed, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass, on the twenty-eighth floor of the Sheraton Wall Center, and was wrapped in a gauzy pink beach wrap. A girl has to meet a dare, right?

“So even though you’re cheating with that pink sheer wrap, I’m impressed.” Standing six feet and a few inches, Dr. Evil flashed that silly, young, boyish smile and kissed me softly on my lips.

I brushed stray strands of the softest, dusty-brown hair out of his sexy, grey eyes and laughed, proud of my sophisticated nakedness and ready for wherever the evening would take us.

It may be difficult for you to align your thoughts that a spiritual woman and a “meet me at the door naked” first-date type of girl can exist within one person. But that’s who I am. By now, you may have deduced that there is nothing traditional about me. I don’t believe in picket fences, and for some reason, have always been allergic to wedding bands. It’s not that I don’t want to be married. Not at all. I love the idea. I just can’t seem to figure out how to make the happily-ever-after part of it work.

But then, as I write these words, one of the secrets of my healing stares right back at me — How could you love another, Lynda, when you’ve never really felt you, yourself, was worthy of love?

Definitely a bad affirmation, but at that time in my life, I still had a lot of self-love issues that needed my attention.

It was December 21, 2007, just four days before Christmas, and in front of me stood my dream man. I had visualized him in my mind and had written down my wish list of attributes — age appropriate, successful nerd (he even looks like Bill Gates), living in Seattle (only because that’s the home of Starbucks & Amazon), handsome, fun, and single.

His seventeen-year-old daughter and her girlfriends were the ones who’d prepared his online profile — without a photo — on the dating site where I’d stumbled across him. Yes, he’d known about it, sanctioned it even, but they’d had to do the work. They’d tirelessly sifted through numerous responding women, and I was one of their top choices.

After many hours getting to know each other on Skype and Yahoo, as much as two people can know each other who’ve never actually met, there he and I finally were, meeting in person.

As I previously mentioned, our online-relationship began while I was still living in Mexico and I was supposed to stop in Seattle so we could finally meet in person. But I’d gotten lost and stood him up. However, I was forgiven and have been ridiculously infatuated ever since I looked into his mischievous, gentle, grey eyes.

There was also sadness within those eyes. Throughout our first evening, I learned about the woman he’d loved, who had died a few years before from Multiple Sclerosis. With all my man’s scientific brilliance, he cursed himself because he hadn’t been able to find the answers to save her.

As our night unfolded, and well into the next day, we shared our pain and our hopes, and continued to build a strong bond. I knew from the first time we chatted online we had something special. And now that we were physically together, I only wanted to hold him and take away his pain.

This would turn out to be a major event in my life. Our time together was magical.

But life has a way…

 

 

© LOVE The Beat Goes On

 

 

Body Guard

 

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Body Guard

 

w h i s p e r i n g

a song, a word, a tease

messages meant for many

lonely women

wounded birds flocked

 

promises of light, love eternal

cloaked in comfort, sexual innuendo

earthy pleasures

u n r e q u i t e d

sensual desires

a l w a y s  d e n i e d

 

it’s been years

unbearable lonely years

 

how many sunrises

have I watched

without you

how many nights

have I lain alone

wishing you were near

that I might kiss your heartbeat

wishing I could stroke your hand

fill your soul with my love

 

the yearning I feel for you

o v e r w h e l m s

f a n t a s i e s

of how we would fill

every part of each other

play over and over

in my mind

 

body guard

make love to me

 

 

Let’s Rock!

 

 

I felt it was time for an update. So this is the most recent post on YouTube on Cardiomyopathy. I originally started sharing my healing because I believed it was important to give people hope. No matter what the doctor tells you, your life is not over until it’s over!

This is my story, and yes it’s personal; but I really wrote it for you, your friends and family. Everyone needs to know they are not alone in their suffering. I’m someone who cares and I want to share the things that helped me heal. The doctors, and websites at that time, said my heart condition was incurable. But you don’t have to accept it. I didn’t. And now it’s ten years later! 

I wish you the best in health and happiness. #LOVE and get out there and live your life!