I refused to die!

If you were writing a memoir about your life, what story would be the most important to tell? Lynda Filler, Writer, Novelist, Top QUORA Writer 2018 at Lynda Filler Author (2009-present)

I published my first memoir, LOVE The Beat Goes On, in 2017 because I wanted to save lives. No, I’m not a medical doctor, nor do I have any kind of certification. But in 2007/8 I had a series of events that turned out to be Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy.

So let me take a moment to give you some back story so you will understand why ‘saving lives’ became a mission in my life. Women tend to neglect their health. It’s not unusual to self-diagnose and keep on going. Unfortunately for me, I was having attacks/gasping for breath and assumed that I was allergic to allergy meds. With what I know today, it’s possible that the allergy meds triggered the attacks. But I never went to the doctor! This went on for almost a year until I sat on a bench in a ski resort in Whistler, BC unable to breathe and suddenly it dawned on me I was having a heart attack.

There were so many lessons to share about my fight to survive, my determination, and my unorthodox methods of healing. People often ask me what I did—I have to respond, get the book! The information is there.

AND it’s on S A L E for $.99 cents.

LOVE The Beat Goes On $.99 AMAZON DEAL https://amzn.to/2Fol8eG

What followed my diagnosis was a series of events, my emotional reactions, my body’s resistance to medication, a cardiologist who advised me I had six months to live, and an amazing Irish GP who reminded me: “You know you can heal yourself.”

I wanted to tell my story, shout it out to the world, because if my body could heal from an “incurable” situation, maybe yours can too. You might not have a heart issue, it might be cancer, or it could be depression or any other ‘dis-ease’.

I began writing my book in 2009, but someone said to me: “What if your healing doesn’t work? What if you die?” So I stopped writing, and put the manuscript away, for several years. Then I had a Dr. Wayne Dyer experience that thrilled me and let me know that it was time to get my story out there. And from the emails, texts on FB, Twitter, or responses to my website and YouTube videos, I know I did the right thing putting my personal life on display. But I must tell you, writing a memoir is super scary: when you write a memoir, there’s nowhere to hide.

Now it’s 2019, I’m traveling the world. Currently in Istanbul, Turkey. I know I’m going to die someday. And it might yet be heart-related. My life has always been heart-centered so I expect that’s how I will exit this particular realm. But while I’m here, my desire is to share my story, my beliefs, and to live life to the fullest. I want to inspire others to do that too!

I should be dead!

 

4Love The Beat Goes On

Will I die from a broken heart?

I know I’ve caught your attention with my double entendre. But that’s why I wrote it.

What would you do if your doctor gave you six months to live? I’ve heard many answers to this question. Some say, get a second opinion. Well, the second and third and fourth opinions were more depressing than the first!

In 2007 I was experiencing symptoms of heart failure but being the know-it-all that I am, I was self-diagnosing instead of immediately visiting a doctor. I walked around basically having mini-heart attacks without realizing what was happening to me. Women, in general, are neglectful of their health. We tend to be the nurturers and rarely allow ourselves to be nurtured.

For several months I experienced shortness of breath and I decided–after much research on the internet–that I was allergic to sinus medications. Well, in a way I was correct. The “D” in the meds was setting off my already dilated heart. But I had no idea how lucky/unlucky I was. The fact that I lived through that year having mini-heart attacks (layman’s language for your benefit) is its own miracle. And yet, here I am to tell the story.

All this was happening throughout the summer of 2007. In mid-October, I decided to accept an offer to work in Whistler for the winter. After living in Puerto Vallarta full time for several years, I was ready for a change. I packed my red Jeep Liberty and drove by myself from Mexico to Canada. It was amazing. It was exciting, dramatic, stunning and liberating. I did photography and wrote poetry, and stopped at cafes and lived along the sea for two weeks. It was the trip of a lifetime.

Upon the arrival in Whistler, a mountainous region in British Columbia, I was experiencing shortness of breath again. I had a new excuse: I blamed it on the change of altitude!

But all that changed in January of 2008.

I’ve written my memoir of this time, the things I did, and the reasons I believed I had this disease. But, I will tell you one thing. In 2008 the London Cardiomyopathy website online had over 5 million followers. The medical professionals stated emphatically that there was no cure for Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy. After six months of treatments, my doctors concurred. The specialist told me to get my affairs in order. 

I waited until 2017 to write my story. I was been ‘cured’ completely since 2012. “What if you die,” one friend said. But I wanted to share my story. After all, we will all die eventually. If I’d given into depression and not done the things that made the difference, I wouldn’t be here to write this story. Think of all the experiences I would have missed, the people I have loved, the birth of my grandson, the books I’ve written and the love I’ve received in my life.

No matter what is going on, this memoir will change your life and remind you to never give up and always believe in miracles.

LOVE The Beat Goes On is on sale on Amazon for downloads at $.99 cents. If this is not affordable for you, I understand. Please contact me on FB Msn and I will gladly send you a copy for free.

Thanks for your love and ongoing support of my passion to write stories for you.

 

I’m not that kind of girl…

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“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes
excerpt from LOVE The Beat Goes On:

 

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Event One: My Cowboy

I’ll always remember his faded tan cowboy boots — scuffed, old, comfy — and the sky blue denim shirt stretched taut across powerful broad shoulders — my cowboy, as I refer to him. And I’ll definitely never forget that lustful smile on his lips when I answered his knock on my hotel room door.

I was naked… sort of.

I’m not usually that kind of girl… except the times when I am. And that was one of those times. I stood just inside the door to a room with a luxurious king-sized bed, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass, on the twenty-eighth floor of the Sheraton Wall Center, and was wrapped in a gauzy pink beach wrap. A girl has to meet a dare, right?

“So even though you’re cheating with that pink sheer wrap, I’m impressed.” Standing six feet and a few inches, Dr. Evil flashed that silly, young, boyish smile and kissed me softly on my lips.

I brushed stray strands of the softest, dusty-brown hair out of his sexy, grey eyes and laughed, proud of my sophisticated nakedness and ready for wherever the evening would take us.

It may be difficult for you to align your thoughts that a spiritual woman and a “meet me at the door naked” first-date type of girl can exist within one person. But that’s who I am. By now, you may have deduced that there is nothing traditional about me. I don’t believe in picket fences, and for some reason, have always been allergic to wedding bands. It’s not that I don’t want to be married. Not at all. I love the idea. I just can’t seem to figure out how to make the happily-ever-after part of it work.

But then, as I write these words, one of the secrets of my healing stares right back at me — How could you love another, Lynda, when you’ve never really felt you, yourself, was worthy of love?

Definitely a bad affirmation, but at that time in my life, I still had a lot of self-love issues that needed my attention.

It was December 21, 2007, just four days before Christmas, and in front of me stood my dream man. I had visualized him in my mind and had written down my wish list of attributes — age appropriate, successful nerd (he even looks like Bill Gates), living in Seattle (only because that’s the home of Starbucks & Amazon), handsome, fun, and single.

His seventeen-year-old daughter and her girlfriends were the ones who’d prepared his online profile — without a photo — on the dating site where I’d stumbled across him. Yes, he’d known about it, sanctioned it even, but they’d had to do the work. They’d tirelessly sifted through numerous responding women, and I was one of their top choices.

After many hours getting to know each other on Skype and Yahoo, as much as two people can know each other who’ve never actually met, there he and I finally were, meeting in person.

As I previously mentioned, our online-relationship began while I was still living in Mexico and I was supposed to stop in Seattle so we could finally meet in person. But I’d gotten lost and stood him up. However, I was forgiven and have been ridiculously infatuated ever since I looked into his mischievous, gentle, grey eyes.

There was also sadness within those eyes. Throughout our first evening, I learned about the woman he’d loved, who had died a few years before from Multiple Sclerosis. With all my man’s scientific brilliance, he cursed himself because he hadn’t been able to find the answers to save her.

As our night unfolded, and well into the next day, we shared our pain and our hopes, and continued to build a strong bond. I knew from the first time we chatted online we had something special. And now that we were physically together, I only wanted to hold him and take away his pain.

This would turn out to be a major event in my life. Our time together was magical.

But life has a way…

 

 

© LOVE The Beat Goes On

 

 

Let’s Rock!

 

 

I felt it was time for an update. So this is the most recent post on YouTube on Cardiomyopathy. I originally started sharing my healing because I believed it was important to give people hope. No matter what the doctor tells you, your life is not over until it’s over!

This is my story, and yes it’s personal; but I really wrote it for you, your friends and family. Everyone needs to know they are not alone in their suffering. I’m someone who cares and I want to share the things that helped me heal. The doctors, and websites at that time, said my heart condition was incurable. But you don’t have to accept it. I didn’t. And now it’s ten years later! 

I wish you the best in health and happiness. #LOVE and get out there and live your life!

 

 

Broken Hearts & Naked Selfies

 

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I LOVE that scientists have been testing the theories I’ve known in my heart to be true! The article referenced below is a study done in the UK about the effects of sudden loss on the physical heart.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/18/time-does-not-mend-broken-heart-scientists-find-condition-causes/

But… LOVE can heal it. Let me tell you why. I am my own study or WIP. And have my own theories as to why a heart given six months to live in 2008 still functions, quite beautifully I might add, in 2017! One of the things I stress in LOVE The Beat Goes On, my book on healing from Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy, is LOVE.

 LOVE in all its forms can both damage and I believe heal a physical heart.

When I was guided to write my story in 2016, I wrote it out with trepidation. It’s sort of like taking a naked selfie and looking at all the flaws. The real deal is the photo is meant for someone who loves you and only sees your beauty. It turns out that my “story” has been received in the same way. Those who’ve read the book see it for it’s love and honesty and ignore the author’s naiveté.

I cover the journey, not just the diagnosis and healing, but how I think I became ill  in the first place. “Idiopathic” means the doctors have no idea “why” my heart was functioning at 28% EF—that means pumping blood at about half it’s normal rate… swollen…stressed to the max. Sometimes it’s childhood trauma, or alcoholism, or smoking, or whatever… But the doctors couldn’t find any specific cause.

I have a secret: I’d been walking around with a problem heart for years. I kind of knew it from an EKG in the nineties that showed an irregular heartbeat. I had an appointment with a specialist right after that EKG and he said I was in good shape “for a 70 year old” when I was under fifty! He made a follow up appointment for months later. I felt okay; and in Canada appointments with specialists can be months apart, and I was working, and, well, you know what happened. Until I literally had the heart attack in early 2008, I forgot about that EKG and never went back to see a heart doctor.

I believe your journey, or your “story” is often what triggers dramatic illnesses in the body.

I think that’s something that more and more of us, and even the medical profession, are beginning to understand. Your story might not necessarily entail the loss of a loved one. It can be anger you carry around against an ex or parent or abusive adult. It might be the loss of a marriage, a cheating spouse, a money issue, a bankruptcy, the loss of your career. All these things if you allow them to build up trigger emotional and often physical damage to your body. The scientists are doing studies and lending credibility to my theory; but if you wait for the science to do something about it, you could be dead.

 

 

LOVE The Beat Goes On     Lynda Filler

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