I’m Alive!

 

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It’s that time of year, again! Happy Mother’s Day! I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy in early 2008! After many months at 28% EF, there was no improvement although the shortness of breath and what felt like heart attack seemed under control with meds.

The doctors told me at best I’d need a transplant but basically the last words were “get your affairs in order.” This photo was taken a few days ago in Istanbul Turkey. This year I sold everything and decided to travel and visit all the places I write about in my books! I’m now in my fourth month!! I’ve written my personal story it’s available on Amazon LOVE the Beat Goes On, and has inspired many! But I’m writing this to let you know not to give up hope!!!

I went to work with a shaman in Arizona in 2008. I never had a transplant nor any operations. The last thing I did before I started this trip was to visit my cardiologist in Puerto Vallarta where I lived. He said “you will always have some left bundle blockage but your heart is functioning at 86% normal! And it’s been that way for several years! Live and enjoy your life!”

This is what I wish for all of you!

 

Can you show us a window to your love?

Two roads diverged in a wood,and I-I took the one less traveled byAnd thathas made all the differenceRobert Frost

 

Oh my. This question gave me shivers.                                                 (on Quora)

There’s a guru on YouTube named Evan Carmichael. He wrote a book called “One Word.” He states that everyone should define their brand or their belief system with one word. His is Belief. Mine is LOVE.

If you open my Amazon book profile, my first three books have LOVE in their title. I use the word constantly. I’m not afraid to tell people I love them. I don’t hold back, ever. I lead from love. It’s my most important value.

The window… yes, that beautiful window. I’ve lived my life following my heart, following love.

As Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

I chose the path of love. And no matter how many twists and turns my life took, how many wins, losses, and disappointments, I wouldn’t change any of it for any reason. I always moved forward from a place of love.

 

 

I should be dead!

 

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Will I die from a broken heart?

I know I’ve caught your attention with my double entendre. But that’s why I wrote it.

What would you do if your doctor gave you six months to live? I’ve heard many answers to this question. Some say, get a second opinion. Well, the second and third and fourth opinions were more depressing than the first!

In 2007 I was experiencing symptoms of heart failure but being the know-it-all that I am, I was self-diagnosing instead of immediately visiting a doctor. I walked around basically having mini-heart attacks without realizing what was happening to me. Women, in general, are neglectful of their health. We tend to be the nurturers and rarely allow ourselves to be nurtured.

For several months I experienced shortness of breath and I decided–after much research on the internet–that I was allergic to sinus medications. Well, in a way I was correct. The “D” in the meds was setting off my already dilated heart. But I had no idea how lucky/unlucky I was. The fact that I lived through that year having mini-heart attacks (layman’s language for your benefit) is its own miracle. And yet, here I am to tell the story.

All this was happening throughout the summer of 2007. In mid-October, I decided to accept an offer to work in Whistler for the winter. After living in Puerto Vallarta full time for several years, I was ready for a change. I packed my red Jeep Liberty and drove by myself from Mexico to Canada. It was amazing. It was exciting, dramatic, stunning and liberating. I did photography and wrote poetry, and stopped at cafes and lived along the sea for two weeks. It was the trip of a lifetime.

Upon the arrival in Whistler, a mountainous region in British Columbia, I was experiencing shortness of breath again. I had a new excuse: I blamed it on the change of altitude!

But all that changed in January of 2008.

I’ve written my memoir of this time, the things I did, and the reasons I believed I had this disease. But, I will tell you one thing. In 2008 the London Cardiomyopathy website online had over 5 million followers. The medical professionals stated emphatically that there was no cure for Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy. After six months of treatments, my doctors concurred. The specialist told me to get my affairs in order. 

I waited until 2017 to write my story. I was been ‘cured’ completely since 2012. “What if you die,” one friend said. But I wanted to share my story. After all, we will all die eventually. If I’d given into depression and not done the things that made the difference, I wouldn’t be here to write this story. Think of all the experiences I would have missed, the people I have loved, the birth of my grandson, the books I’ve written and the love I’ve received in my life.

No matter what is going on, this memoir will change your life and remind you to never give up and always believe in miracles.

LOVE The Beat Goes On is on sale on Amazon for downloads at $.99 cents. If this is not affordable for you, I understand. Please contact me on FB Msn and I will gladly send you a copy for free.

Thanks for your love and ongoing support of my passion to write stories for you.

 

Do it now…Paulo Coelho

 

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March–my month of introspection…

I’ve always tried to live my life as if each day, each moment would be the last one. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

After the publication of my memoir on healing LOVE The Beat Goes On, I received a particularly hurtful attack on my person. The title of the review was elegant: A Woman of Privilege and Passion. It was not about the writing or even the message, it was an attack on me as a woman for following my dreams, picking up my life in one country and moving to another–to save my life. It was the hurtful and spiteful way she attacked my life as being one of Privilege. And any of you who grew up as Military brats know that moving every three years, breaking attachments or worse, finding it impossible to make attachments, is far from a privileged life. But what it does do is allow you to move on when your current life becomes life-threatening.

I’ve been reading Coelho ever since I released my latest novel Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money and a reviewer suggested my book defied Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. I don’t remember reading his works before but then anyone who knows me will tell you I have a terrible memory! I’m now up to my fourth Coelho book The Zahir, and in his books, I’ve found answers to many things. But most importantly, I’m learning how to be unapologetic about my life choices.

Does guilt ring a bell for any of you? I grew up with Catholic guilt as an extremely important part of my decision-making process. I’m learning, finally, to get over myself. I’ve worked hard my entire life and done incredible things. I’ve always said I’m “blessed” but although that may be true–it’s how I choose to see my life–I’ve made choices, often very painful choices. Not everyone around me was happy with those choices, I’m sure. But I forged on because I followed the path of the life I was destined to live. And for that decision, some suffered, including me. But in the end, I saved my life–my life as I know it today.

I highlight when I read. It’s one of the things I love about my iPad/Kindle App. I can go back over the notes and nod my head in recognition of passages that fill my soul with sighs. The above message is not new, but is one we should all think about, especially at a time like right now!

This past week I made one such choice. Am I nervous about it? Yes, very. Can it change the direction of my life? Possibly. Is it the right thing to do? Well, if it was put in front of me, I tend to follow my intuition. Can it hurt me? Potentially. But the fear of lost opportunity or regret is stronger than the fear of making a mistake.

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” Paulo Coelho. 

I miss you…

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March is a month of nostalgia for me.

It’s the birth month of my Mom. She said when her birthday came around she was foreshadowed by mine, two weeks earlier. Don’t you think it’s strange the things we remember?

I recently applied to Ontario, Canada for an original birth certificate. I never had one. I couldn’t remember the exact date of birth of neither of my parents. Weird, right? But I remembered the year and the story I’d told over the years of my ancestry on my mother’s side.

Four Curtin brothers came across from Ireland on a ship and married four Callaghan sisters! Two settled in Western Canada and two in the East–Ontario. What are the chances of that? It’s not a story you’d easily forget.

My mother was a beautiful woman who lived in a time when women stayed home and men went to war. And when some of the men came back, they brought the war zone with them. Unfortunately, I remember too much of that.

She was the one I counted on. She would listen to me and always told me I could do and be anything I wanted in life. She died in 2005. I’ve never returned to the town of my birth in Ontario since then.

I hope she’d be proud of the choices I’ve made. I know she understood when I took my heart from the frozen snow in Canada to the sun-filled days of Puerto Vallarta Mexico.

And I was blessed to feel her leaning over my shoulder as I wrote my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On, she held my hand, every step of the way.

So today I honor her memory and share it with you.

I never told you enough how much I loved you. I miss you, Mom.

 

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Death Sentence

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Six months death sentence.

In 2008 I was told my heart condition was not responding to medication and to get my affairs in order. I’ve never been known to back down from a challenge so I fought back. And I’m still here baby!!

This is what other’s are saying about my story published on Amazon.

“uplifting and insightful. Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

“You (your book) have been so encouraging after a cardiomyopathy diagnosis. The doctor had NOTHING encouraging to say. I left his office in shock.” anonymous to respect privacy.

“Her story is honest, straightforward, and powerful, and many readers will be able to connect well with her experiences and how her spirit came to believe that sometimes the impossible can be made possible with the way we think.”
Reviewed by Mamta Madhavan

Her emphasis on the need to always listen to your body and not ignore any warning signs made this a compelling read.”

“I know any number of people who have been given a death sentence and suffer years of treatment. When Lynda Filler was given this same prognosis, she decided to defy the odds and embrace life. Her choice to believe the impossible and live the imaginable is truly inspirational. I loved her energy, her zest for life – both of which are evident on every page of this book.” G. Plano
 
This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.” J. Sikes

 

My story is a crazy miraculous journey. I hope you enjoy it and get a copy for family and friends. #LOVE

 

A woman of privilege and passion…

 

 

Screen Shot 2017-02-19 at 1.44.59 PMI drive people crazy!! My exes, my kids, and my staff—when I held down a corporate job! I believe people are innately good. I’m the eternal optimist! I want the best for my friends, my family and—if you can believe this—my ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands. Yes, of course, a woman with such a flaw would have a series of exes and unfulfilling relationships.

When I healed my physically broken heart (I was diagnosed in 2008 and given 6 months to live), I started to write my story. And then a coach/mentor said to me: “But what if you die?” So I stopped writing the story and waited to relapse. And then my “eternal optimist” flaw kicked in and I published LOVE The Beat Goes On this year. F**k her! And yes, I swear—I can’t seem to fix that either.

I’ve been called “A woman of privilege and passion” (by a jealous reviewer.) She said it like it’s a bad thing. If believing in love and life and healing, and doing everything I can in my emotional power to work towards a great life, is “leading a life of privilege” so be it.

Yes, I have haters. And they attack me through my books, and probably whisper about me behind my back, and for sure wish that I would change. But as much as the world would like me to be a pessimist, to follow the path of the average depressed man/woman, I can’t seem to do it. It’s not me!

One of my best friends calls me Kumbaya Lady! I know she loves me but she wishes I would change. I too am waiting for the myth of “old age depression” to kick it, but something tells me that it isn’t going to happen!

 

 

“Powerful and unforgettable” J. Magnus, Readers’ Favorite 5 Stars

“This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.” J. Sikes, 5 Stars

 

I’m not that kind of girl…

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“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes
excerpt from LOVE The Beat Goes On:

 

7

Event One: My Cowboy

I’ll always remember his faded tan cowboy boots — scuffed, old, comfy — and the sky blue denim shirt stretched taut across powerful broad shoulders — my cowboy, as I refer to him. And I’ll definitely never forget that lustful smile on his lips when I answered his knock on my hotel room door.

I was naked… sort of.

I’m not usually that kind of girl… except the times when I am. And that was one of those times. I stood just inside the door to a room with a luxurious king-sized bed, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass, on the twenty-eighth floor of the Sheraton Wall Center, and was wrapped in a gauzy pink beach wrap. A girl has to meet a dare, right?

“So even though you’re cheating with that pink sheer wrap, I’m impressed.” Standing six feet and a few inches, Dr. Evil flashed that silly, young, boyish smile and kissed me softly on my lips.

I brushed stray strands of the softest, dusty-brown hair out of his sexy, grey eyes and laughed, proud of my sophisticated nakedness and ready for wherever the evening would take us.

It may be difficult for you to align your thoughts that a spiritual woman and a “meet me at the door naked” first-date type of girl can exist within one person. But that’s who I am. By now, you may have deduced that there is nothing traditional about me. I don’t believe in picket fences, and for some reason, have always been allergic to wedding bands. It’s not that I don’t want to be married. Not at all. I love the idea. I just can’t seem to figure out how to make the happily-ever-after part of it work.

But then, as I write these words, one of the secrets of my healing stares right back at me — How could you love another, Lynda, when you’ve never really felt you, yourself, was worthy of love?

Definitely a bad affirmation, but at that time in my life, I still had a lot of self-love issues that needed my attention.

It was December 21, 2007, just four days before Christmas, and in front of me stood my dream man. I had visualized him in my mind and had written down my wish list of attributes — age appropriate, successful nerd (he even looks like Bill Gates), living in Seattle (only because that’s the home of Starbucks & Amazon), handsome, fun, and single.

His seventeen-year-old daughter and her girlfriends were the ones who’d prepared his online profile — without a photo — on the dating site where I’d stumbled across him. Yes, he’d known about it, sanctioned it even, but they’d had to do the work. They’d tirelessly sifted through numerous responding women, and I was one of their top choices.

After many hours getting to know each other on Skype and Yahoo, as much as two people can know each other who’ve never actually met, there he and I finally were, meeting in person.

As I previously mentioned, our online-relationship began while I was still living in Mexico and I was supposed to stop in Seattle so we could finally meet in person. But I’d gotten lost and stood him up. However, I was forgiven and have been ridiculously infatuated ever since I looked into his mischievous, gentle, grey eyes.

There was also sadness within those eyes. Throughout our first evening, I learned about the woman he’d loved, who had died a few years before from Multiple Sclerosis. With all my man’s scientific brilliance, he cursed himself because he hadn’t been able to find the answers to save her.

As our night unfolded, and well into the next day, we shared our pain and our hopes, and continued to build a strong bond. I knew from the first time we chatted online we had something special. And now that we were physically together, I only wanted to hold him and take away his pain.

This would turn out to be a major event in my life. Our time together was magical.

But life has a way…

 

 

© LOVE The Beat Goes On

 

 

What is the worst yet also the best day of your life?

 

I flew to Phoenix with plans to drive to Sedona, Arizona. It was 2008 and the doctors had told me I was not responding to medication for a serious heart condition and had told me to “get my affairs in order.” They basically said I had six months to live.

I was trying to relax by the swimming pool, tired and worried, when I started seeing double! I drove my self to a hospital and ended up being yelled at by a cardiologist for traveling while being so seriously ill. After 4 days of hospitalization—they had no idea why I was seeing double—I drove to Sedona. I’d rather die trying to save my life than sitting around waiting to die!

The next morning was both the worst and best day of my life.

I was traumatized by the 2-hour drive in the dark from Phoenix to Sedona. I was sure my heart was going to give up on me. But I had made it.

I proceeded to go for coffee, have a muffin and hope for the best. I had no idea why I came to Sedona only something inside of me said: find a healer, he will know what to do.

Four hours later, on the worst and most frightening day of my life, I walked down from Airport Vortex in Sedona with a Shaman I’d met that morning, and I knew my heart was healed.

LOVE The Beat Goes On Yes. I wrote my story this year.

12

What is something you find easy that most people find hard?

 

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I have many things I think I find easy but the first word that came to mind is Entrepreneur.

When I was young I think I was shy. Everyone laughs at me when I say that. I was/am a military brat. It’s a lonely world out there if you’re shy and don’t make friends easily. I learned very quickly how to introduce myself and make new friends every three years.

I started selling clothing from my home at twenty. It took guts. But I never thought twice about it. It came naturally to me to go for something I wanted. Later I moved to a retail location in Toronto. I found three small investors and it never crossed my mind that they wouldn’t invest in me! When I moved to Montreal and began a manufacturing company after working as an International Fashion Buyer for the largest company in Canada. I had no formal training but I had confidence and I was innovative and good.

Over the years I’ve learned countless skills—all self-tough—that have allowed me to be fluid in career choices. I’ve always been successful. That doesn’t mean it’s always been easy. Absolutely not.

I love to make money and spend it! I’m creative and have a gift for business. Now I’m following another passion. I’ve been writing for years. Now I write full time and have 12 books on Amazon.

I think most successful people will tell you it’s more than one thing that accounts for their success. I think most successful people will tell you it’s more than one thing that accounts for their success. I’m also a great leader. People will follow me and success is not necessarily a solitary journey.

I’ve given you a path but you can be sure I fell down, lost my faith in myself countless times. But I’ve always believed in myself and that has made all the difference.