Do you have any thoughts on Loneliness and Aging?

I believe that loneliness is a direct relation to self-love and self-worth. Let’s face the fact that aging is a subject that’s on every woman’s mind once she reaches the age of 30. Why is that? Why do we worry so much about getting older and being alone? I think it has to do with self-love. We just don’t love our selves enough.

We can blame it on the society we live in as aging is a first-world-obsession. All we have to do is look at the media to see that once a woman hits 50 she begins to become invisible. But mostly, this same woman is allowing society to create the fiction that there is something wrong with aging.

I know this might be a rambling comment, but it hurts my heart to hear talk of loneliness when I believe that within ourselves we are whole and complete. I’ve always been a loner—I’m a poet, a memoirist—LOVE The Beat Goes On—a novelist, a whole new career that began in the last decade.

I remember a time when I wouldn’t go to a restaurant and dine alone. I didn’t always have the confidence I have today. I had to work at it.

This photo was taken on my 70th birthday. I spent it at a high-end restaurant on the beach in Puerto Vallarta—a sunset dinner ALL BY MYSELF! It was a first. And it was amazing.

It took me until I was 72 to begin an amazing journey to many countries in the world, not on a tour, not with a group—all alone. And it’s been life-changing.

WE create a situation called loneliness. It doesn’t have to be that way.

I’ve always believed that happiness, contentment, love, health, all these things are related to how much we not only like our self but LOVE ourselves.

I love to say I live in my own little world, they know me there. I could also add, they—all the different aspects that make up the person I have become—LOVE me there. I don’t need other people in my life and yet, I meet new people everywhere. I met my current boyfriend at a touristy spot in Istanbul seven months ago. He was studying English and wanted to practice with someone. It was cold and rather rainy so I accepted the offer of Turkish tea. I took a chance and said yes to dinner later that evening. And here I am, living in Istanbul—for now.

Loneliness is a decision and a choice. You can meet people in a coffee shop, at an art gallery, at the museum, standing in line at the grocery store. I met a woman who has become a friend in a restaurant in Istanbul. She was dining alone and asked me to join her. I had a cold and didn’t want the company. But she asked again when her dessert came and you can always bribe me with “this is too much for me, please share my baklava!” She’s from the Philippines, lives in Florida with her sister, and is currently doing some freelance writing in Rome! She fell in love with Turkey at the same time as I did. Now she’s organizing a religious tour around Turkey next year!!

In today’s world, it’s easy to make friends if you want to. But you need to have the strength inside your own heart—self-love and personal happiness—to make it through the ups and downs of navigating the world.

It all comes back to self-love. And it’s never too late to learn to love yourself.

Survival tips:

  1. learn something new every day
  2. Read, voraciously. Choose new genres, expand the mind
  3. Travel, even if it’s to a new neighborhood—take risks, step outside your comfort zone
  4. Take up a new hobby—everyone has a cell phone—take photos, have fun with them, join Instagram, connect with old friends.
  5. And if you’re my age, do something crazy, like color your hair—okay, not this bright (I manipulated the brightness for the fun of it!)
  6. And take care of your health, take your meds, do some yoga—you don’t have to leave home to find a great yoga video online
  7. And try writing. I know you already love reading or you wouldn’t be here.
  8. And most of all, take risks.
  9. The Best Things in life begin with YES!

Wireless

 

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The image may be © thanks!

 

via WIRELESS by sean d. reddan

I have several poems from my favorite authors from MySpace days! This one speaks to me. I hope you like it too. Thanks, Sean!

Celebrating  words that speak to my soul:

 

WIRELESS    

you move frequency
to frequency
satellite to satellite
bar to twist
twist to turn
turn to jive
shimmy to techno
ballads left out
like an unobserved star child
hopeful to find playing in your ears
an earth melody
a simple love song
but even the static coming
from the impersonal speakers
between breaks between beats
is out of tune
wireless

breathless from inaction
but sore heels
you scan the chairs
for a non-pair
and pick up an empty seat
out of the groove and shy now
a timid warrior on the dance floor
of loneliness
a lifetime of nights
spent in routine
you look down you look away
afraid of anybody breaking your heart
with an unfamiliar touch
a look of mistaken identity
and then walking
soon to be rejoined
by a set of fixated limbs
back into the distant music
distorted inviting
so warm

disregarding the
slow kiss moves
the laughter
the expressions
so warm
playing on another planet
you only visit as one
you finally get up to leave,
there’s a radio
whispering your name
and a pair of slippers at home.

© sean d. reddan

Fear…

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Life is supposed to hit you with one thing at a time.

So, take your pick Life: what’s it going to be?

 

I know you never promised me a rose garden.

And a white picket fence has been off the table for years.

And I know it’s normal to feel sad for what-could-have-been and what-should-be.

And I know we can’t change others, only ourselves.

And if you love someone you have to let him die alone if that’s what he chooses.

And you can only count on yourself—I wrote a book on that.

And life isn’t always fair.

 

I never realized that achieving your dreams could mean your heart breaks along the way.

I always believed in the goodness of men and women.

I also know that happiness is an inside job; and that we have to love ourselves first before anyone else can love us.

I do believe in Shamans and miracles—but my totem animals seem to have deserted me.

 

But my time is running out on this particular journey. And I’m wondering if You have forsaken me.

 

Or have I forsaken myself…