What can older women say to younger women to help them mature faster?

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Thanks Pixabay!

I can keep it simple or make it complicated. Let’s assume that so many have answered this question already so I will keep it short and sweet.

LEARN to love you, yourself, first. Get rid of your stupid insecurities and focus on your amazing inner beauty. Don’ t let any guy/girl take away your confidence or tell you who you are/should be/should do! The sooner you learn your self-worth, the happier your life will be.

If you don’t believe that love is an inside job, look at the divorce rate. If we knew how to love ourselves, we wouldn’t get into some of the stupid relationships we choose when we’re young. And for some of us, we continue with the age-old definition of insanity: repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result.

The more confidence and self-love you have, the more likely you are to choose or be chosen by a man/woman who has the same thing going on. Likes attract.

If you spend your life looking for your soulmate you miss the opportunity to really connect with the soul-mate-that is-you!

I want you to remember these words forever: you should be your first and last love. You are the only one that can truly keep you safe and warm at night. LOVE yourself first.

 

as answered by Lynda Filler on Quora

And pick up a copy of LOVE The Beat Goes On, “When your doctors give you six months do live, what do you do?”  Lynda Filler’s memoir on healing.

 

 

How important is Creativity in your career?

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I love this message from Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo Chairman, in her fireside chat at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Enjoy the interchange between Ms. Nooyi and CEO Doug McMilon of Walmart.

I think there are many important points you may take from their talk. There are a couple that got my attention. Part of this is due to my background which consists of Fashion, both retail and wholesale, being the CEO of my own corporations for many years, and the importance of presentation and design in the marketing of my past products and my current business–writing novels.

Fashion: well, of course, that’s easy. We know design and creativity are integral to fashion.

We don’t have to think about it all. And we all know the expression, “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” But we still do! The marketplace is saturated with competition for your reading dollar. So if my covers don’t stand out from the crowd, no matter how great the stories will be, my work will not be noticed. Packaging is important. It’s really that simple.

When Indra Nooyi took over PepsiCo, she had a history to live up to, a brand image that was doing well, an iconic product.

So her challenge in 2006 was to set the tone of change, moving forward with the times without rocking the financial boat in the process. She set about doing this by gentle persuasion. Many silently ignored her and kept on doing what they had always done. But that wasn’t good enough. One of the comments Ms. Nooyi made was she wished she had done more executive buy-outs sooner instead of waiting, hoping that she could persuade the people running different parts of the company, for the need to move forward, the need to change.

I was quite fascinated by this chat. One of my ongoing challenges as an author in this era of fast-paced-technology is how quickly things change.

When I think I’ve mastered a way of doing something, someone moves the bar, and I need to learn a new approach. The task is challenging. But as Indra Nooyi states, it doesn’t matter how successful you are, the market is continuously expecting you to be miles ahead anticipating new tastes, trends, and styles.

At minute 14 she discusses design.

It jogged my memory of this summer when the hype for FIFA2018 hit the marketplace. One of the first things I noticed was how Coca-Cola–my brand of choice–immediately had their design team incorporate the soccer ball onto their product packaging. Subliminally it reminded us of the excitement we all felt here in Mexico and the pride worldwide for our teams who would be participating in this amazing event.

The history of change is openly and transparently discussed.

At the beginning of her tenure, the board and executives were hesitant for change. They didn’t see the need. But slowly over time, they got it! And now, not unlike you and I in our prospective careers, the market is moving so quickly the common challenge we all face is that we aren’t running fast enough to keep up!

I also enjoyed listening to the banter between Ms. Nooyi and Doug McMilon, CEO of Walmart. I’ve been out of the fashion business for many years now, but I admire the job that Walmart has done to update, stay current, and provide what the consumer wants in the manner the consumer expects to get it in today’s fast-moving marketplace.

This video is well worth the time you may take to watch–or in my case, I listen–while getting ready to start my work-day.

 

 

Read more about Lynda Filler in her highly-acclaimed memoir on healing LOVE The Beat Goes On.

“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

“This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes

When your cardiologist tells you to “Get your affairs in order, your heart condition is incurable,” what do you do?

Love front with quotesLOVE The Beat Goes On Amazon

Unlock your passion

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I LOVE every word out of this man’s mouth.

If you haven’t met Jay Shetty, now is your opportunity. Most entrepreneurs talk about their ten rules of success. What I love about Jay’s message is how he blends the HEAD the HEART and the HAND. It’s not just about the intellectual obvious things of success, but following our life’s purpose and then finding our true purpose in making a difference in peoples lives. So if you’re currently in a rut, if you have achieved a level of success in society’s eyes, but you’re not doing something you love, then there is no heartfelt satisfaction in your accomplishment. And in the final analysis, it’s how we share our hearts with the world that truly gives deep and lasting happiness. When we find our true purpose there is something so deep and personal in the gratification we receive that we know in the deepest part of our being, that we are following our life’s purpose.

HEAD: What you want, the way you pick your path, your clarity of vision 

HEART: Understanding your heart and how your heart connects with your vision

HAND: Compassion and care, how we share and pay it forward or give back is where the three things connect and give us true meaning in our lives

When I started to publish my work, poetry was the way I shared my head and my heart. In those days, Myspace was a place for artists where we could connect and share what we felt passionate about. I had so many poems it was easy to look back and connect the dots and realize that each poetry book represented diaries of the life I was living at the time. In 2015 I had an opportunity to connect my vision of what I loved to read and what I wanted to write. So my Heart once again connected with my head and carried me forward. LOVE The Beat Goes On was so much more difficult to write because I laid bare my life, my emotional journey in the hopes it would help others go through their lives. And the payback is in the emails, the FB notes, the complete strangers who reach out and share their pain and how my memoir helped them realize they are not alone. The Hand.

So as difficult as it is to make it as an independent author in a sea of millions of others writing stories, I persevere and nothing can take me off my path. I write to share my vision of the world–as crazy and raunchy as it sometimes gets. I write to entertain, to surprise and sometimes shock because that’s the way of the world. And when my own books have moments of clarity of purpose, insights I never saw coming, I know I’ve found my life’s purpose.

My fondest wish for you today is that you too, find your life’s path and never live with regrets.

Love and gratitude for being part of my world,

Lynda

 

 

One of the things I do on almost a daily basis is “listen” to a YouTube video from Evan Carmichael.

Nowhere to hide…

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$.99 cents on Amazon

When we write a memoir, there’s nowhere to hide.

 

Life imitates art: LOVE The Beat Goes On  for a limited time only, $.99 cents on Amazon 

“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite

“This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given.”It’s that good.” J. Sikes

“I found this book so inspiring, and I think it can benefit a lot of other readers too. It’s an approachable, quick read with humor and lots of heart. You can probably read it in a day or two, but I hope you’ll remember its message forever.”  J. M. Keelor

“Lynda’s book is inspiring and a reminder that miracles do you happen, you just have to believe in them! A quote I really enjoyed from Lynda’s book was “Release. Breathe. Let it all go. Get rid of the weight, pain and hurts holding you back.” So true! Never stop believing. Thank you, Lynda, for sharing your story.” Ctina

 

Thank all of you for being a part of my journey!

Lynda Filler

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Taking the decision to follow the light, Coelho



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As we all know, I’m a great reader of all things Coelho. My number one value is #love, it shows itself in my poetry and even in my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On. So here’s something I’d love to share.

Paulo Coelho

The Warrior of the light had begun to believe that it is better to follow the light. He had already betrayed, told lies, strayed off his path, paid court to the darkness. And everything continued going well – as if nothing had happened. Now he wants to change his attitudes.

When taking this decision, he hears four comments: “You always acted wrongly. You are too old to change. You are not good. You don’t deserve it”.

He looks towards heaven, and a voice says: “well, my dear, everyone has made mistakes. You are forgiven, but I can’t force this pardon. Decide for yourself”.

The true warrior of the light accepts the pardon and then takes some precautions.

 

Death…can I visit you there?

 

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I Spy Heaven

My dear friend Kristaline sent this note to me after a lover/friend died suddenly in 2011. I included it on the last page of my poetry book I (Spy) Love.

 

by Kristaline Shannon

It’s so awful when someone is afraid and so awesome when you can ease that fear. Your faith is strong; you will be amazing.

For me, for all of us, it is a park drawn out of sidewalk chalk. The colors don’t exist here and cannot be described but are beautiful. All the toys are made with the special chalk and Elijah and Rick guard the entrance from evil. There is no age or time. There is no pain and everyone you have ever loved or missed is there in some form or another. You have access to everything you ever wanted on an emotional level.

Rylee showed me the entrance just after Michael died. We were at the street fair and drawing on the street with chalk. She drew a blue pizza and said it was for Michael and I asked her why did you make it blue; and she said, “Michael likes blue.” I found the entrance next time I meditated.

 

 

more about life/love/death/dying/overcoming a death sentence: LOVE The Beat Goes On, a memoir

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep Going…take a leap!

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You know I’m a huge fan of Evan Carmichael. I listen to him every day while preparing for my day. I always learn something new or am reminded of an old good habit I may have let lapse. But most of all, I’m inspired by Evan’s passion and his commitment to collecting the information for us each day, collating the works of famous successful people, and sharing it with us. Evan’s philosophy is: “I #Believe in you!”

Here’s his excellent take on Will.i.Am’s success:

  1. BE A DOER
  2. WORK ON YOUR DREAMS
  3. BE CREATIVE
  4. HAVE WILL
  5. MASTER YOUR CRAFT
  6. KEEP GOING
  7. TAKE A LEAP
  8. TURN DREAMS INTO REALITY
  9. DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS FOR YOURSELF
  10. SPREAD LOVE

Watch it on YouTube and feel the passion!!

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If you’re curious about the things I live by and have helped me to heal from incurable, download or pick up a copy of LOVE The Beat Goes On.

Thanks for reading!

 

Do it now…Paulo Coelho

 

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March–my month of introspection…

I’ve always tried to live my life as if each day, each moment would be the last one. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

After the publication of my memoir on healing LOVE The Beat Goes On, I received a particularly hurtful attack on my person. The title of the review was elegant: A Woman of Privilege and Passion. It was not about the writing or even the message, it was an attack on me as a woman for following my dreams, picking up my life in one country and moving to another–to save my life. It was the hurtful and spiteful way she attacked my life as being one of Privilege. And any of you who grew up as Military brats know that moving every three years, breaking attachments or worse, finding it impossible to make attachments, is far from a privileged life. But what it does do is allow you to move on when your current life becomes life-threatening.

I’ve been reading Coelho ever since I released my latest novel Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money and a reviewer suggested my book defied Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. I don’t remember reading his works before but then anyone who knows me will tell you I have a terrible memory! I’m now up to my fourth Coelho book The Zahir, and in his books, I’ve found answers to many things. But most importantly, I’m learning how to be unapologetic about my life choices.

Does guilt ring a bell for any of you? I grew up with Catholic guilt as an extremely important part of my decision-making process. I’m learning, finally, to get over myself. I’ve worked hard my entire life and done incredible things. I’ve always said I’m “blessed” but although that may be true–it’s how I choose to see my life–I’ve made choices, often very painful choices. Not everyone around me was happy with those choices, I’m sure. But I forged on because I followed the path of the life I was destined to live. And for that decision, some suffered, including me. But in the end, I saved my life–my life as I know it today.

I highlight when I read. It’s one of the things I love about my iPad/Kindle App. I can go back over the notes and nod my head in recognition of passages that fill my soul with sighs. The above message is not new, but is one we should all think about, especially at a time like right now!

This past week I made one such choice. Am I nervous about it? Yes, very. Can it change the direction of my life? Possibly. Is it the right thing to do? Well, if it was put in front of me, I tend to follow my intuition. Can it hurt me? Potentially. But the fear of lost opportunity or regret is stronger than the fear of making a mistake.

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” Paulo Coelho. 

I miss you…

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March is a month of nostalgia for me.

It’s the birth month of my Mom. She said when her birthday came around she was foreshadowed by mine, two weeks earlier. Don’t you think it’s strange the things we remember?

I recently applied to Ontario, Canada for an original birth certificate. I never had one. I couldn’t remember the exact date of birth of neither of my parents. Weird, right? But I remembered the year and the story I’d told over the years of my ancestry on my mother’s side.

Four Curtin brothers came across from Ireland on a ship and married four Callaghan sisters! Two settled in Western Canada and two in the East–Ontario. What are the chances of that? It’s not a story you’d easily forget.

My mother was a beautiful woman who lived in a time when women stayed home and men went to war. And when some of the men came back, they brought the war zone with them. Unfortunately, I remember too much of that.

She was the one I counted on. She would listen to me and always told me I could do and be anything I wanted in life. She died in 2005. I’ve never returned to the town of my birth in Ontario since then.

I hope she’d be proud of the choices I’ve made. I know she understood when I took my heart from the frozen snow in Canada to the sun-filled days of Puerto Vallarta Mexico.

And I was blessed to feel her leaning over my shoulder as I wrote my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On, she held my hand, every step of the way.

So today I honor her memory and share it with you.

I never told you enough how much I loved you. I miss you, Mom.

 

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The Top Love Stories of the 21st Century.

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Image may be subject to ©

I found this lovely article and thought I’d share TOP 10 LOVE Stories of the 21st Century.  Thanks, BookPage at Kobo

Everyone has a different opinion of Valentine’s Day. It’s a groan-worthy Hallmark holiday. The most romantic day of the year. An occasion to watch bad romantic comedies with friends. An excuse to eat an entire box of Russell Stover candies.

No matter how you feel, you can probably agree that books that celebrate love—whether pulse-pounding romantic love, obsessive love, familial love or love between friends—are books to cherish. In honor of Valentine’s Day, we want to share our Top 10 Love Stories of the 21st Century (so far). Now grab a hunk of chocolate and keep reading . . .

Bel Canto (2001): Would any list of love stories be complete without this novel? The relationships in a group of terrorists and hostages sound anything but sexy—but trust me that this unusual cast will have you crying and sighing after about 30 minutes of reading. Bonus: You’ll find yourself in love with opera after author Ann Patchett has cast her spell.
Read more in BookPage.

The Time Traveler’s Wife (2003): Audrey Niffenegger’s story of Henry (a punk-loving, time-traveling librarian) and Clare (an artist) has become a contemporary classic. It’s clever, heart-breaking and romantic—and I envy the reader who hasn’t discovered it yet.
Read more in BookPage.

The History of Love (2005): “Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” Need I say more about Nicole Krauss’s wonderful book?
Read more in BookPage.

The Myth of You & Me (2005): Leah Stewart’s graceful story attempts to answer this central question: Can a friendship ever be mended once the bonds of trust have been shattered? This is one of our favorite novels about the complicated love between friends.
Read more in BookPage.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (2005): Lisa See writes beautifully about two girls in 19th-century China who build a friendship that exceeds even their love for their own families.
Read more in BookPage.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (2007): Junot Díaz’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel addresses teenage love, obsessive love, unrequited love and more. It’s hip, high-energy and hysterical.
Read more in BookPage.

The Post-Birthday World (2007): Lionel Shriver’s cleverly constructed novel (think Sliding Doors) is about passionate love, comfortable love and the love that could have been. If you love to ask “What if?” this book is for you.
Read more in BookPage.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2008): This delightful novel about the people of the Channel Island of Guernsey includes a tender love story that will make your heart flutter. Even better, the novel itself is practically an ode to book lovers. (And the way author Annie Barrows finished the book for her dying aunt Mary Ann Shaffer is lovely, too.)
Read more in BookPage.

My Abandonment (2009): This pick falls into the “unconventional” category of love stories, but we think Peter Rock’s spare, haunting novel is one of the most fascinating stories of parent/child love published in recent years.
Read more in BookPage.

Marriage and Other Acts of Charity (2010): Kate Braestrup’s memoir of navigating a later-in-life romance and a new marriage will leave you moved and filled with joy.
Read more in BookPage.

Do you agree with the list? What are your favorite love stories of the 21st century?

I would LOVE to add my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On

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