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Every single day of my life since 2008 is a gift! #Gratitude
published this morning: Elizabeth Gilbert on FaceBook
Dear Ones: It’s a beautiful spring day in my corner of the world, life is everywhere bursting forth with a sense of rebirth and renewal, and this seems like as good a moment as any to tell you that I am in love. Please meet my sweetheart, Mr. Simon MacArthur. He’s a photographer from the U.K. — a beautiful man who has been a friend of mine for years. (Even more touchingly, Simon was a beloved friend of Rayya’s for decades. They lived together in London over 30 years ago, and they adored each other forever like siblings. This, as you can imagine, means the world to me.) Of late, Simon and I have found our way to each other’s arms. And now here we are, and his heart has been such a warm place for me to land. I share this news publicly, despite the fact that our love story is so new and young and tender, for a few reasons. For one thing, I just wanted to say: If you see me walking around with a tall handsome man on my arm, don’t be buggin’. Just know that your girl is happy, and following her heart. But also this: I will always share anything personal about my life, if it could help someone else feel more normal about their life. SO…if you have lost a loved one to death, and you thought you’d never love again, but you are feeling a pull of attraction toward someone new, and you’re not sure if that’s OK? Let me normalize it for you. Let me say: It’s Ok. Your heart is a giant cathedral. Let it open. Let it love. Do not let your beautiful loyalty to the deceased stop you from experiencing the marvels and terrors of your short, mortal, precious life. It’s OK to live, and to love. Or…if you are falling in love in middle age and it’s terrifying, because you feel just as dumb and crazy and excited and insecure as you did at 16? Well, let me normalize this for you. It’s OK. You will always feel 16 when you are falling in love. Or…if you once loved a man and then you loved a woman, and then you loved a man, and you’re wondering if that’s ok? Well, darling. Let me normalize that for you. It’s OK. Love who you love. It’s all OK, and it’s all impossible to control, and it’s all an adventure that I will not miss. That’s all I wanted to say. Onward, and I love you all.
Why does everything Elizabeth Gilbert says and does make me cry? She’s truly a woman of our times.
Her life has crossed paths with mine in truly memorable ways. Jeanne Proteau I don’t know if you will remember before I left Mexico in 2007 to drive back to Canada, I met and spoke to a young woman from the US who had recently graduated from University. Her first job was working as a publicist for then-unknown author, Elizabeth Gilbert. I remember the conversation vividly because I was about to embark on a life-changing journey that would introduce me to a man with whom I would fall deeply in love. In my memoir, I refer to him as my cowboy.
While driving into the US through the Arizona border, I stopped at a mall for food. In front of me was a huge display of the book Eat Pray Love. I can picture the stand of books in front of me at this very moment. That’s when I bought my first copy of her treasured memoir.
This past year a reviewer compared my LOVE The Beat Goes On to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love memoir. I was honored, and reminded that we can be stuck in our lives or take action. It will always be our choice. And today, as many of you know, I have again pulled up roots and embarked on a journey of a lifetime. I created my own EPL journey that started in Dallas, then Paris, New Delhi, Agra–for the amazing Taj Mahal–then Goa India, Istanbul, Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, and now I’m in Thailand.
I think about how her book had such a tremendous effect on generations of women who felt trapped in their lives and needed permission to break free.
It doesn’t surprise me that her best friend and lover Rayya–who died last year– sent Liz an old friend to help heal her broken heart and show her love again.
I’ve often been told I overshare (in not so many words) but I guess it’s a writer thing. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LOVE IS LOVE and we love who we love.
This is a great question I was asked recently on Quora. I thought it would be worthy to share.
I spent most of my life running my own businesses or managing teams of people for other corporations. I can tell one thing about people that challenged me on a daily basis: lack of self-esteem and self love!
I’m assuming this question is coming from a woman—it feels like it; but even that is a sexist remark that shows you how I feel about this subject. People lack self-worth and don’t value their own talents and abilities the way they should.
Maybe my thoughts can help you.
Start a journal and on the first page, write a list of things about yourself that you LOVE. If you have to think about it and can’t come up with 5 things quickly, we have a lot of “making over’ work to do! I’ll give you mine right off the top of my head without any thinking:
I’m funny and make a friend easily. I’m entertaining, charming, and love to tease. I’m sexy—yes, at my age, I got it all going on! I’m an adventurer, in business and in my personal life, a goal setter, a dreamer, a believer in the goodness of mankind, a lover, I lead from the heart. I really like myself.
We are taught, or at least my upbringing taught me to be humble, not to brag, not to flaunt myself or my accomplishments, to be good at things but to not stand out or look for accolades. I say bullshit! If you don’t love yourself, who will? And if you don’t come from a place of love, how can you ever love another?
We come into this world alone, and we go out alone. And sometimes, most of the time, we take this journey called life, by ourselves. You better learn to love who you are, focus on your strengths, and let the other nonsense go. Never, ever put yourself down!
I feel like I could write a book about this, maybe I should! Actually, maybe I will. A lot of my thoughts and principles are in LOVE The Beat Goes On, a memoir. By the way, my books are free to read with Kindle Unlimited membership!
Good luck on this journey we call life. My advice to the hundreds of people I led every day is we only go through this world once. Learn to laugh off the nonsense, and play to your strengths. Learn to love yourself first, and the rest will fall into place.
I’ve finally accepted that I’m addicted to LOVE. I write about it, I’m either in-or-out of it, and I live my life and make choices around it.
I’m still a work-in-progress. At this stage of life, you’d think I’d have it all figured out, but that’s never going to be the case. I’ve chosen to love in unconventional ways and without the restrictions of conditions.
I’ve recently made a decision to change the course of my life. After living in Mexico for many years, I’ve liquidated my life and hopped on a jet plane. I’m currently in Paris and in two days, I’ll be in Frankfurt, then New Delhi, and will continue going to the Middle East, Asia, Malaysia and Indonesia.
Here’s what runs through my mind:
all my bags are packed and i’m ready to go
i’m standin here outside your door, i hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin it’s early morn
the taxi’s waitin, he’s blowin his horn
already i’m so lonesome i could die
so kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you’ll wait for me, hold me like you’ll never let me go
cause i’m leavin on a jet plane, don’t know if i’ll be back again
Yes, with self-knowledge comes self-acceptance. The choices I’ve made give me tremendous highs, and not-so-lovely lows. But this is who I am. And my life has been significantly improved because I learned to love unconditionally.
We are all searching for something. And maybe this message is it.
I want to give you something of who I am and how I see the world. I hope this video will make you smile.
I’m counting down the days to my voyage of discovery. I visualized this journey for years. And now that I’ve made the decision to travel for a few months, I admit it, I’m nervous yet so very, very excited.
Still, let me not forget that no matter where I go and what I do, I take myself with me. “I am the one I’ve been looking for, and I am already enough.”
I’ve spent an hour listening to this video over and over again. This is my gift to you. I hope you love the message and that it’s exactly what you need to hear today.
It’s really simple to me. So enjoy the wisdom I shared on Quora tonight. Here’s my list.
- Be happy. There is nothing that ages us more than bitterness, and recriminations.
- Don’t live in the past. Embrace the present. Refuse to worry about the future because the future never comes.
- Laugh a lot, smile often. If you’re a woman, it hides the wrinkles. Life will try to take you down, throw curve balls that will bring you to your knees. Stand tall, be strong, never look back.
- LOVE, love yourself, love your life, love the planet, love your family, love your partner(s). Don’t be stingy with your love.
- Have no regrets. Never apologize about your life choices and decisions. You can’t change them, even if they were wrong in hindsight… let that stuff go.
- Don’t worry about the one that got away. If you’re too busy worrying about a bad relationship or marriage, you’re too bitter to notice the one ahead of you that might be that elusive soul-mate.
- Always lead with your heart. Yes, you will screw up, whether it’s in friendships, or with a child, or a mate. Forgive yourself often. You’re only human.
It’ been awhile. Have you wondered what happened to me?
I’m unpredictable, enigmatic, and always evolving. If any of my past relationships (men) are reading my blog, you can stop smiling now! I write sporadically, sometimes about topics that make you smile, shake your head, and check the post, wondering if I wrote it at all. “This is me,” as a dear friend of mine would say.
When you begin to understand me, I will do a 180 and you have to start all over again. It’s 2019. I rarely look backward, instead, I prefer to move on and live in the moment, moving towards the future. I have many amazing and beautiful things that happened in 2018, including taking back my emotional life and healing a very sad heart. Well, let me think about what I just said. I’m a woman. Do we ever truly heal our hearts? If we are open to love we will always be putting our hearts back together. So rather than look at 2018 let’s move right on into 2019!!
I have lived in Puerto Vallarta, on and off, since 2002. I fell in love with Mexico in the late 90’s. Many believe I moved here for a man. Let’s just say that I moved here out of love… a love that encompassed self-love, a lover, and a need to save my life rather than stay in a bad marriage and die a little each day.
And now the time has come to move on. I’m not saying I will never come back. But there are places to go and people to meet and stories to write and experiences to live, and love…yes, there will always be love.
I’m traveling first to the USA, then Paris to see my son and grandson, then I will visit India. I’ve never been before so if you have any places in India that touched your heart or spoke to your soul, please share them with me. After India I will spend a couple of days in Istanbul, and then I will have my birthday in Israel. First I will stay very close to the Wailing Wall, in the Arab Quarter in Jerusalem. Just writing this sends shivers up and down my spine. I’m drawn to the Holy Lands like many before me. I suppose my Catholic upbringing has a lot to do with that, but so does the life and death of IDZ, and the exploits of Samaar and Raven (operatives in my series, Code Raven– the first 3 are .99 cents).
After Israel I will go to Bangkok. From there I have absolutely no plans, but I will visit and possibly stay, in Bali. I will follow … my dreams.
Yesterday a friend of mine looked me in the eye and said, ‘You’re following your heart. You’re in love with him.” I objected profusely. “I’m in love with life, with travel, with places I’ve never been to and people I have yet to meet.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled. And then we both laughed.
Do I have a return ticket? No. I never look back and rarely go back, I always move forward. “But, will you come back to Mexico?”
“I always follow my heart.”
I can keep it simple or make it complicated. Let’s assume that so many have answered this question already so I will keep it short and sweet.
LEARN to love you, yourself, first. Get rid of your stupid insecurities and focus on your amazing inner beauty. Don’ t let any guy/girl take away your confidence or tell you who you are/should be/should do! The sooner you learn your self-worth, the happier your life will be.
If you don’t believe that love is an inside job, look at the divorce rate. If we knew how to love ourselves, we wouldn’t get into some of the stupid relationships we choose when we’re young. And for some of us, we continue with the age-old definition of insanity: repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result.
The more confidence and self-love you have, the more likely you are to choose or be chosen by a man/woman who has the same thing going on. Likes attract.
If you spend your life looking for your soulmate you miss the opportunity to really connect with the soul-mate-that is-you!
I want you to remember these words forever: you should be your first and last love. You are the only one that can truly keep you safe and warm at night. LOVE yourself first.
And pick up a copy of LOVE The Beat Goes On, “When your doctors give you six months do live, what do you do?” Lynda Filler’s memoir on healing.
I love this message from Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo Chairman, in her fireside chat at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Enjoy the interchange between Ms. Nooyi and CEO Doug McMilon of Walmart.
I think there are many important points you may take from their talk. There are a couple that got my attention. Part of this is due to my background which consists of Fashion, both retail and wholesale, being the CEO of my own corporations for many years, and the importance of presentation and design in the marketing of my past products and my current business–writing novels.
Fashion: well, of course, that’s easy. We know design and creativity are integral to fashion.
We don’t have to think about it all. And we all know the expression, “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” But we still do! The marketplace is saturated with competition for your reading dollar. So if my covers don’t stand out from the crowd, no matter how great the stories will be, my work will not be noticed. Packaging is important. It’s really that simple.
When Indra Nooyi took over PepsiCo, she had a history to live up to, a brand image that was doing well, an iconic product.
So her challenge in 2006 was to set the tone of change, moving forward with the times without rocking the financial boat in the process. She set about doing this by gentle persuasion. Many silently ignored her and kept on doing what they had always done. But that wasn’t good enough. One of the comments Ms. Nooyi made was she wished she had done more executive buy-outs sooner instead of waiting, hoping that she could persuade the people running different parts of the company, for the need to move forward, the need to change.
I was quite fascinated by this chat. One of my ongoing challenges as an author in this era of fast-paced-technology is how quickly things change.
When I think I’ve mastered a way of doing something, someone moves the bar, and I need to learn a new approach. The task is challenging. But as Indra Nooyi states, it doesn’t matter how successful you are, the market is continuously expecting you to be miles ahead anticipating new tastes, trends, and styles.
At minute 14 she discusses design.
It jogged my memory of this summer when the hype for FIFA2018 hit the marketplace. One of the first things I noticed was how Coca-Cola–my brand of choice–immediately had their design team incorporate the soccer ball onto their product packaging. Subliminally it reminded us of the excitement we all felt here in Mexico and the pride worldwide for our teams who would be participating in this amazing event.
The history of change is openly and transparently discussed.
At the beginning of her tenure, the board and executives were hesitant for change. They didn’t see the need. But slowly over time, they got it! And now, not unlike you and I in our prospective careers, the market is moving so quickly the common challenge we all face is that we aren’t running fast enough to keep up!
I also enjoyed listening to the banter between Ms. Nooyi and Doug McMilon, CEO of Walmart. I’ve been out of the fashion business for many years now, but I admire the job that Walmart has done to update, stay current, and provide what the consumer wants in the manner the consumer expects to get it in today’s fast-moving marketplace.
This video is well worth the time you may take to watch–or in my case, I listen–while getting ready to start my work-day.
Read more about Lynda Filler in her highly-acclaimed memoir on healing LOVE The Beat Goes On.
“Powerful and unforgettable” JackMagnus, 5 Star Readers’ Favorite
“This is a book every human alive should read and take away the lessons given. If I could give it ten stars, I would. It’s that good.”J. Sikes
When your cardiologist tells you to “Get your affairs in order, your heart condition is incurable,” what do you do?