Does Happily Ever After Exist?

It’s been a while since I worked on a novel. I have four storylines that are competing for my attention, and I can’t seem to focus in on one over the other. So I get my dose of daily writing when I hang out on Quora for a bit. I thought you might enjoy my answer to a rather shallow question. It might be TMI, but then, those of you who know me understand that I’m an open book, a work in progress, and a constantly evolving woman.

This month I’m packing up my life. I’ve sold everything and will begin a journey to places I’ve never been. I have a set departure and a few locations in France, India, Turkey, and Israel that are booked. But once I arrive in Bangkok, I will be free-falling… I have no set date of return to Mexico, although my friends who’ve become a family, believe I will return. I’m not sure.

This is going to be an interesting time. I will blog, post photos here and on IG, FB, Twitter. And I’ll do live videos on FB and my YouTube channel. I promise it will be fun, and a bit crazy. I see the world in strange and wondrous ways.

Back to Quora and the question I couldn’t resist answering: Am I shallow to want to date a woman with a fuller figure?

We all have our preferences. Some of us take a lifetime to truly understand what we like. I’m attracted to eyes. They mirror not only the soul but kindness and mischief. When a man looks at me with ‘those eyes’ I’m in trouble! And a very good kind of trouble it is!

So first it’s eyes, then it’s soul, then it’s brains—I love smart men. They’re usually cocky and annoying and can make you feel inadequate in a way that’s rather adorable. They are adult men with this immense sense of wonder about the subjects that fascinate them. And even though the subjects may be way out of reach for me, I’m wildly attracted to the light, that almost childish sense of wonder as they work through their discoveries, day after day.

And then there is sexy. That comes in all shapes and sizes but I definitely have a type in that area too. I won’t reveal myself because then I’d be at a disadvantage. I get a reaction, an immediate jolt when I find someone attractive. It’s generally mutual. If it’s not, I ignore the feelings and move on.

Am I shallow? Yes. In some ways that I won’t go into here. I have definite physical things that work for me and I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t fit into my likes. Maybe I will one day…

I’m still looking for ‘the one’ who makes my heart sing, speaks to my soul, who will love me and show me that happily ever after truly exists.

If you think only men pay for sex, you’re wrong!

$.99 CENTS on Amazon!

3

Take a walk on the wild side while Layla explores the sensual and sexy side of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Lie to Me is insanely captivating, entertaining and exciting. It’s a spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.” R. Dzemo 5 Stars Readers Favorite Review

 

How many lives have been ruined for the pleasure of an orgasm?
Forty-something Layla Duncan has a dangerous obsession with men who sell steamy sexual encounters to vacationing women in Puerto Vallarta. She infiltrates the underworld of male prostitution, interviews several men and begins to write a mesmerizing exposé of their lives.
What do you do when the lines between your personal life and professional assignment become blurred? Layla finds herself questioning her value system in a titillating yet disturbing way.
Sparks fly one night when she takes a break from her writing and meets the sensual twenty-something Mateo at a local nightclub. The charismatic young Mexican man seems oblivious to his powerful sexual aura but is immediately turned on by Layla. The one-night-stand turns into sporadic hook-ups, while two emotionally damaged lovers long for something neither can put into words.

Lynda Filler has once again delivered a fast-paced, sexy and sometimes gut-wrenching page-turner that will unnerve you and leave you breathless.

 

4

This 10-Minute Routine Will Increase Your Memory And Creativity

brain-2062055_1920

reposted from:  Benjamin P. Hardy

Hop on over and subscribe!

“When you train your creativity, you automatically train your memory. When you train your memory, you automatically train your creative thinking skills!” — Tony Buzan

Memory and imagination are inextricably connected. In fact, your memory is imagined. It’s not concrete nor objective fact. But rather, your memory is how you stored, connected, and interpreted a person, place, or thing.

Your memory gets better as you become more imaginative. Very few people have learned how to utilize their long-term memory. And because many people have poor memory strategies they are ineffective learners, they lack creativity, and they lack confidence in themselves.

If you can’t remember something, you didn’t learn it.

Once you become powerful at maximizing your memory, your learning goes from the conscious to the subconscious level much quicker. Once learning becomes subconscious, you have more control and ownership of it.

When something becomes subconscious, you can then use it to create a more powerful physical reality. As Napoleon Hill said, “The subconscious mind will translate into its physical equivalent, by the most direct and practical method available.”

Again, memory is all about imagination. You can’t remember something if you don’t connect it to something else. All learning is simply association — connecting what you currently know with something you don’t yet know.

In this short post, you’ll learn a simple yet effective strategy for:

  • increasing your memory and imagination
  • which will allow you to direct your subconscious mind more effectively
  • in order to create the outcomes you seek (and also create some beyond what you seek!)

Here’s a simple routine to get started:

Ten minutes before going to sleep:

“All of the information that you have ever encountered is contained within your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind never forgets anything.” — Taryn Crimi

It’s common practice for many of the world’s most successful people to intentionally direct the workings of their subconscious mind while they’re sleeping.

For example, Thomas Edison would take time every night, just before bed, to prepare his subconscious mind to chew on, twist, organize, and create powerful solutions to his creative problems.

He was very conscious about this process. As he said, “Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.”

Edison was a memory machine. He was a voracious reader and he remembered practically everything he read. He was able to remember nearly everything he read because he understood the interplay between memory, imagination, and the subconscious mind.

Because he understood the connection between memory and creativity — both of which are simply connecting things — he was able to become one of the world’s most important inventors. His imagination and ability to make new connections was explosive.

You can’t be truly creative would having a powerful memory. And you can’t have a powerful memory without becoming creative. The two go hand-in-hand.

How does this work?

Firstly, memory is not about willpower. Willpower is a linear and brutish approach to accomplishing something. Imagination and creativity are far more powerful methods, which are also non-linear and can stretch in many different ways.

In his book, Unlimited Memory, Kevin Horsley said, “Emile Coue pointed out that, ‘When the imagination and the will are in conflict, the imagination always wins.’ If you ‘will’ yourself to remember, and your imagination is not on the task, you will have zero retention and recall. Your imagination is the place of all your memory power.”

The healthiest memories are flexible, not fixed. You can change them, alter them, manipulate, and expand them. The more imaginative you are in attempting to remember something, the easier it is to remember.

Here’s an example:

  • Let’s say you’re trying to remember something from a book you’ve read
  • All you need to do is connect the idea or concept to something relevant in your life
  • You want to turn it into a visual
  • The more of your senses you can connect to the experience, the deeper ingrained it can go into your long-term memory
  • Once in your long-term memory, it becomes subconscious, and thus far more powerful than something you have to consciously focus on
  • When something becomes unconscious, it begins connecting itself to other areas of your brain, other ideas, and other memories

Every time you recall a memory, your whole brain fires and wires new connections together.

So what was Thomas Edison doing a few minutes before he went to bed at night? He was visualizing. He was connecting all of the ideas he was reading with other experiences and memories from his past. His memory was powerful because he was extremely imaginative about the process.

The more imaginative and creative you get about remembering something, the more subconscious that memories become. Consequently, you don’t want to place any limitations on how you connect ideas. You can even get a little weird about it.

Research has found that play is extremely good for neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Play, then, is also very good for memory.

As an example of making something imaginative:

  • Let’s say you’re trying to remember how memory, imagination, and the subconscious mind work together
  • You could think of your memory as a giant floating blob — what specifically reminds you of giant floating blobs? The first thing that comes to my mind is the Pokémon, Gastly
  • You then connect that with imagination — which reminds me of unicorns
  • So immediately I’m imagining the Pokémon Gastly riding on top of a unicorn
  • You then connect memory and imagination with the idea of the subconscious mind — which reminds me of the book, Think and Grow Rich
  • So now I’ve got Gastly reading a copy of Think and Grow Rich while riding on top of a unicorn
  • To make the experience even more immersive, you could tap into all of your senses, such as smell, taste, and touch — so in this case, Gastly smells like something strange from a chemistry lab and the unicorn smells like a bowl of Lucky Charms; also, when they ride by you can feel Gastly’s smoke, which feels like a thick-moist mist and you can actually taste Lucky Charms

Creativity is all about connecting things together. So inevitably, Thomas Edison was probably thinking in a highly imaginative way about various ideas and trying to connect them together. He gave himself a few minutes to do this before going to sleep, then he’d pass out.

While he was sleeping, his subconscious mind started connecting, organizing, synthesizing, shaping and creating.

Ten minutes after waking up:

Research confirms the brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex, is most active and readily creative immediately following sleep. Conversely, the analytical parts of the brain become more active as the day goes on. The study looked at morning and evening MRI scans and observed that mornings showed more connections in the brain — a key element to the creative process.

Your subconscious mind has been loosely mind-wandering while you slept, making contextual and temporal connections. Thus, your brain and mind are primed for creation and learning.

Edison certainly woke up early and even wrote in his journal first thing in the morning. He spent his morning in creative activity. Over 3,500 notebooks of Edisons have been found.

The notebooks are filled with interesting observations and insights — many pertaining to unrelated projects, in a flow of associations and connections. Consecutive sketches — some rough and others executed with precision— traverse a vast spectrum of technologies and inventions.

In other words, Edison often journaled in the morning in a stream-of-consciousness manner. He would allow his mind to connect seemingly unrelated ideas together and in due process would often come up with inspired and creative connections.

For example, in one journal entry, he was predicting ideas related to potential flight (decades before the Wright Brother’s success) and then getting ah-ha’s related to his work on the telephone.

Here’s how his journal entry began, dated May 26, 1877:

“Discovery…

“If you look very closely at any printed matter so that the print is greatly blurred and you see double images of the type . . . one of the double images is always blue or ultra violet=

“Glorious= Telephone perfected this morning 5 AM.”


In an interview with Tim Ferriss, Josh Waitzkin, a former chess prodigy, and tai chi world champion explains his morning routine to tap into the subconscious breakthroughs and connections experienced while he was sleeping.

Unlike 80 percent of people between the ages of 18–44 who check their smartphones within 15 minutes of waking up, Waitzkin goes to a quiet place, does some meditation and grabs his journal.

In his journal, he thought-dumps for several minutes. Thus, rather than focusing on input like most people who check their notifications, Waitzkin’s focus is on output. This is how he taps into his higher realms of clarity, learning, and creativity — what he calls, “crystallized intelligence.”

Conclusion:

“The possibilities of creative effort connected with the subconscious mind are stupendous and imponderable. They inspire one with awe.” — Napoleon Hill

Pulling all of this together:

  • Spend lots of time learning and reading
  • The more methodologies to your learning the better — experiential learning and “context-based” learning are often more powerful than simply reading
  • As you learn, try to connect what you’re learning in an imaginative way with something you already know
  • Have tangible goals you’re working toward and problems you’re trying to solve — as Darren Hardy once said, “Your life can be measured in proportion to the size of problems you’re trying to solve.”
  • Spend a few minutes just before bed visualizing the ideas, concepts, challenges, experiences, of what you’re trying to accomplish — also visualize the completion of your project or attainment of your goal
  • While you sleep, your subconscious mind will have something powerful and potent to work with, since you’ve created many different connections throughout your brain related to whatever it is you’re thinking about
  • When you wake up first thing in the morning, drink a huge glass of water, go to a quiet place, and start writing in your journal in a stream-of-consciousness manner
  • Once you start getting creative ideas, keep writing — it’s usually the idea after the idea that really matters

All of this is related to what psychologists call “epiphany ability,” which is something you can master throughout your life, just like memory and creativity.

The scientific definition of an epiphany consists of 3 crucial elements:

  • abandoning the old ineffective thoughts (i.e. breaking mental fixation);
  • formulating the new and effective thoughts (forming the new novel associations)
  • experiencing the intense thrilling feeling of “Aha”

You can become very good at getting epiphanies or creative break-throughs. You’ll need to be open to new experiences, though. Which apparently is quite rare. Research shows that people become less and less open to new experiences as they age.

You’ll need to develop a powerful memory and imagination strategy. You’ll need to become more playful and free about how you learn and remember things.

Your memory is not objective, it’s subjective. Memory is created and re-created every time it is recalled and associated with something new. Healthy memories are flexible.

Because your memory is flexible and highly imaginative, you have far more creative control over who you become than you probably think you do.

You can become a powerful creative thinker. You can become extremely intelligent. You can become productive and prolific. You can quickly develop expertise in difficult areas.

The question is: will you take the time and learn the skills? Or will you let the invaluable tool of your mind and memory go to waste?

 

“TAKE ACTION Even When You DOUBT Yourself!”

 

When in doubt, take action. Meet Mel Robbins”

Mel Robbins is a serial entrepreneur and one of the most booked motivational speakers in the world. She’s the CEO and co-founder of The Confidence Project, a media and digital learning company working with Fortune 500 brands.

Mel is the creator and star of the Audible Original series “Kick-Ass With Mel Robbins,” a first of its kind life and business advice talk show.

In 2017, Mel broke self-publishing records with her international best-seller The 5 Second Rule. It was named the #1 audiobook in the world and the fifth most read book of the year on Amazon. It is translated into 31 languages.

Mel is a relatable, no-BS expert on change, human behavior, and mindset. Her social media platform reaches 20 million people a month and her TEDx Talk has been viewed by over 14 million people.

 

Here are her top 10 Rules for Success as posted on Evan Carmichael. It’s a great channel to subscribe to for daily inspiration and motivation!

Evan likes #6, I like #9. Have your own definition of success:  Work it, believe in yourself, and #love what you do.

1. Control how you live
2. Get rid of your phone
3. Focus on the customer
4. Take action
5. Cheer for everybody
6. Tweak your habits
7. Stop caring what others think
8. Be mindful of how you speak
9. Have your own definition of success
10. Apply the ‘6 months’ rule

 

 

Thanks for visiting my blog.

If you’re looking for the habits and beliefs that led to “Healing from incurable” I would love to hear what you have to say about my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On

#TimeDebt Linda Sivertsen

 

22448298_1651446761588306_8663545168167723355_n

For all of us who never seem to have enough time, I thought I’d share my friend Linda’s talk on TEDWomen. She makes some extremely valid points for all of us. Time is becoming more and more precious. I know you will enjoy this and find a whole different way to look at how you spend your time.

TEDWomen talk on #TimeDebt. You’ve heard of financial debt: spending money you don’t have. But Time Debt is perhaps more widespread and dangerous. Learn about the details of this little-known “disease of our era” that affects nearly everyone. If you’re overinvesting in the care of others and underinvesting in self-care; spending time reacting to other people’s emergencies, with little time for the prevention of your own; or, like I used to, losing precious days/months/years to a dramatic marriage, listen up! My TED video reveals simple fixes that could change, even save your life. 💚#TEDWomen

http://bit.ly/2tPIj9H

Thanks, Linda! We expect to see a book on the subject from you soon!

 

 

 

Ashes … a poem Free LOVE REHAB

 

2

 

LOVE REHAB   FREE  FEB. 9-13

Ashes

reflections captured

love bleeding back

mirrors mock our memories

silent tears form a track

 

yesterday’s window

time stands no longer still

love was all that mattered

rescued, against your cautious will

sage smoke circles

silver photos edges curl

half-finished love laments

smoldering pages swirl

broken hearts ambushed

ashes on the bedroom floor

dreams and smoky mirrors

siroccos whisper round the door

 

 

©Ashes, LOVE REHAB  on AMAZON FREE!

 

 

 

Coelho…The Soul, Our Dreams

Screen Shot 2018-02-04 at 9.02.11 PM

 

 

I know, I obsess.

But more from Manuscript Found in Accra, Paolo Coelho

 

“Our soul is governed by four invisible forces: love, death, power, and time.

When you are going through difficult times, remember: you might have lost some major battles, but you survived and you’re still here. That is a victory. Show your happiness and celebrate your ability to go forward. Pour your love generously out onto the fields and pastures, down the streets of the big city and across the dunes of the desert. Show that you care about the poor, for they are an opportunity for you to display the virtue of charity. And care, too, about the rich, who distrust everything and everyone, keeping their granaries crammed with grain and their coffers full, but who, despite that, cannot drive away loneliness. Never miss an opportunity to show your love, especially to those close to you, because we are always at our most cautious with them for fear of being hurt.

Love–because you will be the first to benefit. The world around you will reward you, even if, at first, you say to yourself: “They don’t understand my love.” Love does not need to be understood. It needs only to be shown. Therefore, what the future holds for you depends entirely on your capacity for love. And for that, you must have absolute and total confidence in what you are doing. Don’t let others say: “That road is better.” or “That route is easier.” The greatest gift God gave us is the power to make decisions. We were all told from childhood that what we wanted to do was impossible. As we accumulate years we also accumulate the sand of prejudices, fears, and guilt.

Free yourself from that. Not tomorrow, not tonight, but now. As I said: many of us believe we will hurt those we love if we leave everything behind in the name of our dreams. But those who truly want the best for us want us to be happy, even if they can’t understand what we are doing, and even if, at first, they try to stop us from going ahead by means of threats, promises, and tears. The adventure of the days to come needs to be filled with romance because the world needs that; therefore, when you are mounted on your horse, feel the wind on your face and enjoy the sense of freedom. But don’t forget that you have a long journey ahead. If you surrender totally to the romance of it all, you might fail. If you don’t stop occasionally to let both you and your horse rest, your horse might die of thirst or exhaustion. Listen to the wind, but don’t forget about your horse. And precisely when everything seems to be going well and your dream is almost within your grasp, that is when you must be more alert than ever. Because when your dream is almost within your grasp, you will be assailed by terrible guilt. You will see that you are about to arrive at a place where very few have ever set foot, and you will think that you don’t deserve what life is giving you. You will forget all the obstacles you overcame, all that you suffered and sacrificed. And because of that feeling of guilt, you could unconsciously destroy everything that took you so long to build.”

 

Lynda Filler Author, Poet, Dreamer

fullsizeoutput_521b

She likes what??

Screen Shot 2018-01-27 at 9.50.14 AM

I love reading about people and other authors (notice I separate people and authors). Check out Mae Clair’s blog and her interesting facts about herself!

“I wrote my first childish “masterpiece” at six and was immediately bitten by the writing bug. Since then, I’ve been composing nonstop, and have dabbled in multiple genres over the years, writing everything from fantasy, westerns, and horror to inspirational fiction, romance, and sci-fi. It took me a while to find my niche, but I’ve settled comfortably into the mystery/suspense genre (with a just a dash of romance tossed in).”

Read more via About

 

I love #2, not necessarily because of the message but rather Raven! I felt an immediate connection. You all know about my JET Series and JET-Reborn. 

Well here is a new author Mae Clair for you to explore!

Be Driven by Passion

 

Screen Shot 2018-01-26 at 10.44.18 PM

images may be subject to ©

 

Love this: Evan Carmichaels Top Ten Rules for Success DEMI LOVATO

“If you’re looking for ways to find your path, focus, and keep going, this video–and list–is for you. Lessons to be celebrated from a woman who speaks openly about being bullied so badly growing up that she asked for homeschooling, and having an eating disorder to having to having 5 albums hit Gold in the U. S. and setting a Guinness World record for being the youngest judge on the X Factor Show. Here are her top ten rules for Success!

  1. FIND YOUR PATH
  2. PUT OUT POSITIVE ENERGY
  3. BE DRIVEN BY PASSION
  4. FOCUS
  5. BE AUTHENTIC
  6. FOLLOW YOUR GUT
  7. KEEP GOING
  8. POUR YOUR HEART INTO YOUR WORK
  9. INSPIRE, HELP OTHERS, MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
  10. PERFORM AMAZING

What an amazing, open and inspiring woman–a great role model for all young women today.

You can listen to her whole interview on Evan’s YouTube channel https://youtu.be/MzqrvJeWMPk

 

 

Musing…

Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 9.21.15 PM

 

Could you fall in love with someone who’s Bisexual? I present to you the magnificent sexy hot and bi Willy Cartier.

I’ve decided I have a new Muse. I find sexy people an inspiration to my writing process. Maybe they help me find my voice…you know, the one deep inside that you’re unsure you really want to share with the world. That voice. The vulnerable, needy, sensual personal part of you that makes you wonder if people would still love you if they knew how your mind works…

I’ve had emotionally shattering introspective days in the last six or seven days. Or maybe it’s best described as emotions buried will eventually demand to be recognized or they will erupt in tears and a health crisis. Either way, I’m admitting it and working through it.

The challenge I have as an author is sometimes I step outside myself and look at my situation or life like a movie or a book! Have you ever done that? It’s an uncanny feeling to see yourself as a character in a book or a play, wondering how the character will act/react. It’s surreal and edgy yet exciting and extremely artistically productive.

Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 10.19.27 PM

It may be a © image…but I’m borrowing it.

I think if I’d been born an author in my parent’s generation–all that Irish and Welsh mixed up inside of me–I might have been an addict. But most likely, I’d have been addicted to love. Searching for it, falling for it, destroying my life for it, and dying for it. Yeah, the first step to healing yourself is recognizing who you are and owning it.

Love and all its addictive elements inspire me. Should I write more spicy novels like Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money? I think I will look up a few more images of Willy Cartier and allow my Muse to take me away.

lie filler

Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money