Almost There

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green intense

light of love

heart love

pulsating

tears rolling down

the pale blue window

inside my mind’s eye

the right side, a film playing

over

and over again

 

heart pain silent relentless

take it away I beg

make it go away

 

intense lights bright

smiles and miles of warmth

take me, please

take me there

take me into his arms

let me touch his hair

let my lips brush his cheek

let me smile with him

let me feel his love

 

straw fields break through

electric blue sky

closer, closer I beg

I can feel I’m almost there

 

swirling turquoise water, is that ocean?

is this what your home is like?

will you take me there

 

are those people I see

wait, talk to me, don’t leave yet

I’m almost there

Mom, can you bring me over

yes, I can feel your smile

don’t you love him too?

 

I know my dream is over

the sun is heating up my room

my left side wants to fly

my right, dead weight here

 

I walked with a child

he was sad and sullen

I took his hand

and told him to dance with me

he smiled and twirled

 

and then he was no longer there

 

on an edge of a bathtub

you sat with me

a stranger holding a gun

told us to get inside

our time was up

it was time to die

 

I felt no fear

I was ready to go

I would follow you anywhere

 

© Almost There, I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler Poet

 

Mate(d)

 

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Pixabay Image

Mate(d)

 

I reserve my right

to love you

to mate with you

in wild and wondrous ways

to hold you sacred 

to enter into an affair 

heart

mind

body

and soul

 

I reserve my right

to fill your empty spaces

with joy and laughter and friendship

 

I promise 

I will never leave you

nor hurt you

nor steal your heart

 

I reserve my right 

to love you unconditionally

against all sense of time 

and space

and culture 

and taboos

without fear 

of loneliness

of heartbreak

 

and when the time comes

I promise

I will let you go

 

© Mate(d) 2018 Lynda Filler

 

Rooms

 

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Rooms

 

my heart has many rooms

and in these rooms

I find old stories

sadness, pain, loss

and incredible moments

of joy

and love

 

I would not (ex)change

the lows

for were they not

a high waiting to happen?

were they not a fearful no

aching to become a jubilant yes!

 

if I fill my heart

with love(s)

one day I am sure

there will be no room

for bad

or sad

and (love) memories will sustain me

as I find my way Home

 

© Rooms, I (Spy) Love  Lynda Filler

Screen Shot 2017-09-11 at 4.40.39 PMI (Spy) Love

 

The Art of Love

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The Art of Love

 

a moments rest

time to digest

the thoughts of him

his illness

my Love

so long ago

and yet

always clear

present

and near

 

words

uninvited

the sound of his voice teasing

knowing that something

was not

quite

right

 

the solemn day

rushes up to me

grabs my heart

squeezes old tears

demands of me

an/swer/s (to questions) I don’t want to hear

 

what are you doing sweet heart

there is an art to love

have you been asleep

throughout your life

are you too busy

looking for Love

to follow the rules?

 

there is no logic to Love, I respond

it cannot be dissected

ana/lyz/ed

filed

it does not fit

into

patterns

principles and strategies

there are no rules

to Love

 

the art is in the Loving

in the selflessness

in the joy of knowing

your beloved feels safe

and loved

 

the Art is in the Love

 

and for this Love

I would do anything

 

and so

I do nothing

 

© The Art of Love, I (Spy) Love 

 

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Who is That Child

 

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who is that child

by your side

who is that child

 

is he the one I always wanted

is he the love part of you living on

born of another

         your love child

 

I want to know your son

I want to hold him close

I want to see how you would be

un-jaded

         un-afraid

         un-aware

before life got in the way

and made you say

that love

doesn’t exist

 

I miss you

I miss watching you breathe

the way you slept

your naked body, your damaged soul,

your tenderness when you forgot to hide the smile

that once made me whole

 

                   that look

 

the words you could never find

the love that poured from your eyes

straight into my shattered heart

 

who is that child

that walks like you

 

may I hold his tiny fingers in my hand?

 

© Love Rehab, Lynda Filler

LOVE REHAB COMPLETE

Driftwood

 

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Driftwood

 

seductive tropical waters

glorious and turbulent seas

tides in, tides out

my body flows

a siren sings

my heart aches for thee

 

secrets, dreams, and

shattered, battered souls

like broken coral

and shifting sands

empty shells and

d r i f t w o o d

 

ancient messages

bound in aubergine seaweed

brittle, root attached

not quite ready

to give up

 

dreams once written

rusted trawlers buried stories in the sea

sailors tied up in tales

his heart to be caught

without release

 

a siren sings

I hear her echo

she calls her lover out to sea

 

are you here, my love

can you hear my plea

you know I will be gentle

bring your heart

home

to me

 

© Driftwood, I (Spy) Love    Lynda Filler 

Lovers… a poem

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Lovers

 

I look for you in darkness

moments when my heart

skips beats, breathless

with longing

and I pray for you

to rescue me

 

I look for you in aloneness

moments full and complete

wanting to share

in that middle place

where lovers go

and souls mate

 

I look for you in Paris

while lovers laugh

hands held

dreams shared

memories made

never to be repeated

 

I look for you

but you’re not here

 

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© Lovers, I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler