Inspiration, where does it come from?

I’m often asked this question.

I have a love/hate relationship with my Muse.

My inspiration comes from all kind of places. It depends on what I’m writing at the time. Right now I’m deep into the theme/plot process that I need to follow before I can begin to write a novel. But two books are vying for my attention and that’s like having twin babies that both demand to be fed right now!

Music inspires me. Current affairs get my creative juices flowing. And dreams. Oh how I love my dreams.

Lately I’ve been watching Netflix thriller series and wondering if they have invaded my senses and taken over my mind. Theme after theme competes with ideas that I keep writing down for Luke and Samaar to explore.

Then last night I watched/listened to Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour. That feeds my Muse for my Contemporary Romance series, “Lie to Me.” That upcoming novel already has a theme song The Essence of Us. I play that song non-stop while I’m working through what’s going on with Layla’ life. The emotion in Taylor Swift’s songs, and the outpouring of love from her fans is so inspiring.

A friend asked me recently if I still write poetry. The answer will always be, yes. I remember my first published poem. I think I was 25. I wrote it for my sister’s 21st birthday. I did a photoshoot with her and had the black and white image placed on a wooden plaque and superimposed the words to the poem on top. The first few lines were: One day, when I know who I am and where I am going and what I want will you still love me for the woman I am... I often whisper those words to myself…

Today was a strange day. Late to bed last night, early to rise, and back to sleep in the afternoon. I’ve got a lot on my mind. I think I already told you I’m leaving Mexico for a while or permanently, and traveling to the Middle and Far East. Whenever I make a major change in my life, my dreams change. It’s rather exciting. It’s like getting a coupon book for free movies, only they turn out to be foreign films with Spanish subtitles. I know I’m weird. Just go with it. I decided to share this afternoon’s dream with you.

By the way, my first novel award-winning Target in the Sun is FREE, an exciting Contemporary Suspense story on Amazon Download today. If you’ve already read it, thanks. Why not gift one to a friend?

I LOVE that story. I hope you will too.

Thanks for following my work.

How do you justify loving someone, when he or she is not interested in you?

A Quora question that I answered today that totally spoke to my heart:

 

I would call that “unconditional love.” I learned unconditional love when I was in a relationship with someone who chose to do Missionary work rather than to be with me. I told myself that he was just not interested enough in me! I was so sad, messed up, disappointed. I cursed him, hated him, for two weeks. (The incidents surrounding our relationship filled a poetry book!)  And then I had a really good talk with myself.

If you love someone unconditionally, you must accept that they may have values, dreams, goals that take precedence over you.

Once I accepted that I loved him “unconditionally’ we continued a relationship by mail, email, letters, and became incredibly close. It was an honor for me to have experienced his heart. I will cherish his communications with me always.

He died 4 months later in South Sudan. After he passed, he’d left someone to stay in touch with me for a year. I called him my bodyguard–and that’s definitely a future book. It seemed my dear friend had left me his journals. Unfortunately for me, my bodyguard refused to turn them over. He said they were too dangerous for those who were still alive. I knew my friend had never married nor had children. But he had saved money and had substantial investments. I discovered he used his money to support 15 orphanages around the world–mostly Africa, the Middle East, and Mexico.

So to answer your question, he gave me far more of his heart than I could ever have experienced if he had given up his life’s’ work to be with me. One day I will write his story.

I (Spy) Love 

Delete/Retrieve

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I woke up sad today

yes, I deleted all the unwanted thoughts from my memory

dropped them in the garbage

only to be retrieved, re-read, re-posted under sadness and hurt

never         

really 

gone

I can learn to live with this (unlikely)

sigh…

DADT-Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

a military acronym for an international game of “impossible scenarios”

filed under “promises I made to myself—but broke

following my heart, instead of my head/mind/games

chasing a dream, crazy love 

insanity for an insane thought

 

Dreamers have nothing on me

I believe in love

 

© Delete/Retrieve Lynda Filler 2018

“I’m not a body with a soul…”

I’m not a body with a soul, I’m a soul that has a visible part called the body.” Paulo Coelho

 

Have you ever stood above yourself and gazed down and watched your body doing something mundane?

Have you ever been in the midst of a crowd of talking, laughing, with excited people and found yourself all alone?

Have you ever been told you’re dying?

Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and forgotten completely what you were saying?

You’re having an out of body experience. You’re a soul, not truly present, with a body that’s a stand-in during that split second in time.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the correct response, at that moment, is violence, anger, frustration, maybe harsh words, and yet…something in you makes you immediately turn around and walk away?

The human mind and body have a tendency to react in a specific manner to specific events. This is how our bodies are wired–we respond, react. When the mind takes over, we are weighing our options. When the soul takes over, you are no longer on this plane. Instead, you are two steps outside your physical existence closer to the essence of who you could be, all the time if you only allowed your soul to speak.

I want to live in a world where everyone has become enlightened or more conscious, where everyone recognizes that inside, we are all the same.

Yes, I’m a dreamer but I love this about me.

 

I GROW SILENT DEAR SOULYOU SPEAK.RUMI

© Image Lynda Filler Photography 2018

 

 

Almost There

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Image may be subject to ©

green intense

light of love

heart love

pulsating

tears rolling down

the pale blue window

inside my mind’s eye

the right side, a film playing

over

and over again

 

heart pain silent relentless

take it away I beg

make it go away

 

intense lights bright

smiles and miles of warmth

take me, please

take me there

take me into his arms

let me touch his hair

let my lips brush his cheek

let me smile with him

let me feel his love

 

straw fields break through

electric blue sky

closer, closer I beg

I can feel I’m almost there

 

swirling turquoise water, is that ocean?

is this what your home is like?

will you take me there

 

are those people I see

wait, talk to me, don’t leave yet

I’m almost there

Mom, can you bring me over

yes, I can feel your smile

don’t you love him too?

 

I know my dream is over

the sun is heating up my room

my left side wants to fly

my right, dead weight here

 

I walked with a child

he was sad and sullen

I took his hand

and told him to dance with me

he smiled and twirled

 

and then he was no longer there

 

on an edge of a bathtub

you sat with me

a stranger holding a gun

told us to get inside

our time was up

it was time to die

 

I felt no fear

I was ready to go

I would follow you anywhere

 

© Almost There, I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler Poet

 

Mate(d)

 

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Pixabay Image

Mate(d)

 

I reserve my right

to love you

to mate with you

in wild and wondrous ways

to hold you sacred 

to enter into an affair 

heart

mind

body

and soul

 

I reserve my right

to fill your empty spaces

with joy and laughter and friendship

 

I promise 

I will never leave you

nor hurt you

nor steal your heart

 

I reserve my right 

to love you unconditionally

against all sense of time 

and space

and culture 

and taboos

without fear 

of loneliness

of heartbreak

 

and when the time comes

I promise

I will let you go

 

© Mate(d) 2018 Lynda Filler

 

The Art of Love

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The Art of Love

 

a moments rest

time to digest

the thoughts of him

his illness

my Love

so long ago

and yet

always clear

present

and near

 

words

uninvited

the sound of his voice teasing

knowing that something

was not

quite

right

 

the solemn day

rushes up to me

grabs my heart

squeezes old tears

demands of me

an/swer/s (to questions) I don’t want to hear

 

what are you doing sweet heart

there is an art to love

have you been asleep

throughout your life

are you too busy

looking for Love

to follow the rules?

 

there is no logic to Love, I respond

it cannot be dissected

ana/lyz/ed

filed

it does not fit

into

patterns

principles and strategies

there are no rules

to Love

 

the art is in the Loving

in the selflessness

in the joy of knowing

your beloved feels safe

and loved

 

the Art is in the Love

 

and for this Love

I would do anything

 

and so

I do nothing

 

© The Art of Love, I (Spy) Love 

 

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Drop Drop Drop!

 

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© Lynda Filler Photography 2018

 

I #LOVE this!!

Sam Bennett dropped this into my email box this week and I wanted to share. If it resonates, make it your own. And you can follow Sam at the link below.

https://theorganizedartistcompany.com

The Organized Artist Company | The Organized Entrepreneur Company
Carpinteria, California 93013
United States

Hi Lynda,

drop drop drop
drop what you have been holding
drop what you have been holding
drop the idea that you are confused
drop the idea that you are broke
drop the idea that there is any part of you that is unlovable or unnecessary
drop it
set it down
set your burden down
set down your grief
set down your aloneness
set down your your stubbornness
sit down on the side of the road
set your bundles down next to you like cats just sit there
don’t do
don’t rush
don’t have a thought
feel your heartbeat
feel the breath go in and out of you
feel how you are supported in this very moment
there is nothing you need that you don’t have in this very moment
there is nothing that is not possible for you
don’t do
don’t rush
stop thinking
be…
be on the side of the road
set your burdens down
maybe there’s some more that have popped up
take them off of you
you can pick them back up later
just set them down for now
set down your identity
set down your desire to be liked
set down the frantic need to be approved of
set down the idea that there is any lack or absence or shortage of anything anywhere

feel your heart beat feel your breath
feel the air on your skin
feel gravity
become aware again of the net
feel yourself as part an inextricable and critical part of this whole
stop fighting
we love you and you’re doing great
let your hands be loose
stay don’t wander
stay don’t rush to answers
stay in this moment
stay in not knowing
feel the forgiveness for not knowing
it’s like a rain comes down and washes the dust off of you
you are warm and safe
you are needed and loved
you are perfect whole and complete
there is nothing wrong with you
and your ego will fight that
do you see it throwing its little tantrum
you say “I love you ego, you are loved and you’re doing great”
so together we gather in this circle
sitting down by the side of the road
with our burdens and our stories and our excuses
the same 57 negative thoughts
that we have been thinking since we were twelve
we have set aside for now

you seek transformation
you are in the place of transformation
you seek a new life
you are in the place of a new life
you can relax
you’ve made it
congratulations you found it
you can stay like this
this is the real world
this is the real world

©2018

****************************************************

The above is a partial transcript of the spiritual improvisation I did on Sat. —

Spirit.Marketing.Business.Money.Creativity.Love.
A spiritual improvisation and free teaching with bestselling author Sam Bennett.

—-> go here to enjoy it: https://youtu.be/h6tkqxGruw0

Feel free to share it with whomever you like.

We go deep: this is not for sissies.

And yes, I cried.

Let me know how all this lands for you, OK?

Yours,

Sam.

By The Way, You Look Really Great Today

 

I’m shocked! Paul Coelho reveals…

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The image may be subject to copyright, poem by Kahlil Gibran

 

I’m obsessed with the writings of Coelho. I find his work and way of thinking stimulating and inspirational to my own personal growth and advancement in writing.

This recent post of his is so incredibly open and beautiful I had to share it with you: 

When I was young, my parents sent me to a mental institution three times ( 1966, 1967, 1968). The reasons for my medical files are banal. It was said that I was isolated, hostile and miserable at school. I was not crazy but I was rather just a 17-year-old who really wanted to become a writer. Because no one understood this, I was locked up for months and fed with tranquilizers. The therapy merely consisted of giving me electroshocks. I promised myself that one day I would write about this experience so young people will understand that we have to fight for our own dreams from a very early stage of our lives.

When I released  “Veronika decides to die”, a book that was a metaphor for my experience in a lunatic asylum, the press started asking me if I forgave my parents. In fact, I did not need to forgive them, because I never blamed them for what happened. From their own point-of-view, they were trying to help me to get the discipline necessary to accomplish my deeds as an adult, and to forget the “dreams of a teenager”.

Khalil Gibran has an excellent text about parents and children:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

 

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2018/04/16/on-a-mental-institution/

 

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LOVE REHAB COMPLETE