Do you have any thoughts on Loneliness and Aging?

I believe that loneliness is a direct relation to self-love and self-worth. Let’s face the fact that aging is a subject that’s on every woman’s mind once she reaches the age of 30. Why is that? Why do we worry so much about getting older and being alone? I think it has to do with self-love. We just don’t love our selves enough.

We can blame it on the society we live in as aging is a first-world-obsession. All we have to do is look at the media to see that once a woman hits 50 she begins to become invisible. But mostly, this same woman is allowing society to create the fiction that there is something wrong with aging.

I know this might be a rambling comment, but it hurts my heart to hear talk of loneliness when I believe that within ourselves we are whole and complete. I’ve always been a loner—I’m a poet, a memoirist—LOVE The Beat Goes On—a novelist, a whole new career that began in the last decade.

I remember a time when I wouldn’t go to a restaurant and dine alone. I didn’t always have the confidence I have today. I had to work at it.

This photo was taken on my 70th birthday. I spent it at a high-end restaurant on the beach in Puerto Vallarta—a sunset dinner ALL BY MYSELF! It was a first. And it was amazing.

It took me until I was 72 to begin an amazing journey to many countries in the world, not on a tour, not with a group—all alone. And it’s been life-changing.

WE create a situation called loneliness. It doesn’t have to be that way.

I’ve always believed that happiness, contentment, love, health, all these things are related to how much we not only like our self but LOVE ourselves.

I love to say I live in my own little world, they know me there. I could also add, they—all the different aspects that make up the person I have become—LOVE me there. I don’t need other people in my life and yet, I meet new people everywhere. I met my current boyfriend at a touristy spot in Istanbul seven months ago. He was studying English and wanted to practice with someone. It was cold and rather rainy so I accepted the offer of Turkish tea. I took a chance and said yes to dinner later that evening. And here I am, living in Istanbul—for now.

Loneliness is a decision and a choice. You can meet people in a coffee shop, at an art gallery, at the museum, standing in line at the grocery store. I met a woman who has become a friend in a restaurant in Istanbul. She was dining alone and asked me to join her. I had a cold and didn’t want the company. But she asked again when her dessert came and you can always bribe me with “this is too much for me, please share my baklava!” She’s from the Philippines, lives in Florida with her sister, and is currently doing some freelance writing in Rome! She fell in love with Turkey at the same time as I did. Now she’s organizing a religious tour around Turkey next year!!

In today’s world, it’s easy to make friends if you want to. But you need to have the strength inside your own heart—self-love and personal happiness—to make it through the ups and downs of navigating the world.

It all comes back to self-love. And it’s never too late to learn to love yourself.

Survival tips:

  1. learn something new every day
  2. Read, voraciously. Choose new genres, expand the mind
  3. Travel, even if it’s to a new neighborhood—take risks, step outside your comfort zone
  4. Take up a new hobby—everyone has a cell phone—take photos, have fun with them, join Instagram, connect with old friends.
  5. And if you’re my age, do something crazy, like color your hair—okay, not this bright (I manipulated the brightness for the fun of it!)
  6. And take care of your health, take your meds, do some yoga—you don’t have to leave home to find a great yoga video online
  7. And try writing. I know you already love reading or you wouldn’t be here.
  8. And most of all, take risks.
  9. The Best Things in life begin with YES!

The Founders Of The World’s Five Largest Companies All Follow The 5-Hour Rule

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Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. Warren Buffett. Jeff Bezos. Larry Page. They are all polymaths too.

by Michael Simmons, Serial Entrepreneur, Bestselling Author, Contributor To Fortune, Forbes, HBR, Time, & Many More

(reblog from Thrive Global)

The founders of the five largest companies in the world — Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffett, Larry Page, and Jeff Bezos — all share two uncommon traits. After studying self-made billionaires for many years now, I believe that these two traits are responsible for a lot of their wealth, success, impact, and fame. In fact, I put so much faith in these two traits that I’ve used them in my own life to start companies, be a better writer, be a better husband, and achieve financial security.

Here are the two traits:

  1. Each of them is a voracious learner.
  2. Each of them is a polymath.

Let’s unpack these two terms, and learn a few simple tips for using them in your own life.

First, the definitions. I define a voracious learner as someone who follows the 5-hour rule — dedicating at least five hours per week to deliberate learning. I define a polymath as someone who becomes competent in at least three diverse domains and integrates them into a skill set that puts them in the top 1% of their field. If you model these two traits and you take them seriously, I believe they can have a huge impact on your life and really accelerate your success toward your goals. When you become a voracious learner, you compound the value of everything you’ve learned in the past. When you become a polymath, you develop the ability to combine skills, and you develop a unique skill set, which helps you develop a competitive advantage.

By Bill Gates’ own estimate, he’s read one book a week for 52 years, many of them having nothing to do with software or business. He also has taken an annual two-week reading vacation for his entire career. In a fascinating 1994 Playboy interview, we see that he already thought of himself as a polymath:

PLAYBOY: Do you dislike being called a businessman?

GATES: Yeah. Of my mental cycles, I devote maybe ten percent to business thinking. Business isn’t that complicated. I wouldn’t want to put it on my business card.

PLAYBOY: What, then?

GATES: Scientist. Unless I’ve been fooling myself. When I read about great scientists like, say, Crick and Watson and how they discovered DNA, I get a lot of pleasure. Stories of business success don’t interest me in the same way.

The fact that Gates considers himself a scientist is fascinating given that he dropped out of college and had spent his whole life in the software industry at that point.

Interestingly, Elon Musk doesn’t consider himself a businessman either. In this recent CBS interview, Musk says he thinks of himself as more of a designer, engineer, technologist, and even wizard.

The list goes on. Larry Page has been known to spend time talking in depth with everyone from Google janitors to nuclear fusion scientists, always on the lookout for what he can learn from them.

Warren Buffett has pinpointed the key to his success this way: “Read 500 pages every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest.”

Jeff Bezos has built his whole company around learning on a massive scale via experimentation and has also been an avid reader his whole life.

Finally, Steve Jobs famously combined various disciplines and looked at it as Apple’s competitive advantage, going so far as to say:

“Technology alone is not enough. It’s technology married with the liberal arts, married with the humanities, that yields the results that makes our hearts sing.”

And, of course, the founders of these five companies aren’t the only massively successful individuals who share these two traits. As I’ve written about before, if we expanded the list to a sample of other self-made billionaires, we quickly see Oprah Winfrey, Ray Dalio, David Rubenstein, Phil Knight, Howard Marks, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Charles Koch, and many others share similar habits.

Why would some of the busiest people in the world invest their most precious resource — time — into learning about topics seemingly unconnected to their fields, like fusion power, font design, biographies of scientists, and doctors’ memoirs?

Each of them commands organizations of thousands of the smartest people in the world. They’ve delegated almost every task in their lives and businesses to the best and brightest. So why have they held on to this intense amount of learning?

After writing several articles attempting to answer these questions, this is what I’ve ultimately come to:

At the highest levels, learning isn’t something you do to prepare for your work. Learning is the most important work. It is the core competency to build. It’s the thing you never delegate. And it’s one of the ultimate drivers of long-term performance and success.

As I came to this realization, I wondered: Why isn’t it obvious that we should all become voracious learners and polymaths throughout our whole lives given that we live in an increasingly complex, rapidly changing, advanced-knowledge economy? Why does the average person think of deliberate learning as an optional thing to do on the side?

I think it’s because of three strong messages we’ve all been taught — in school, in college, and in general society — that may have been true in the past but are definitely no longer true. Here’s how these three lies break down:

  • Lie #1: Disciplines are the best way to categorize knowledge.
  • Lie #2: Most learning happens in school/college.
  • Lie #3: You must pick one field and specialize in it.

These beliefs are so insidious that they’ve destroyed our intuition about learning and knowledge, and they ultimately hold us back from creating the success we want. If we can become aware of them, we can rectify them, just as the most successful people in the world have done.

To continue with this insightful article please go to THRIVE GLOBAL (Arianna Huffington founder of  HuffPost) for more!

 

The Top Love Stories of the 21st Century.

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Image may be subject to ©

I found this lovely article and thought I’d share TOP 10 LOVE Stories of the 21st Century.  Thanks, BookPage at Kobo

Everyone has a different opinion of Valentine’s Day. It’s a groan-worthy Hallmark holiday. The most romantic day of the year. An occasion to watch bad romantic comedies with friends. An excuse to eat an entire box of Russell Stover candies.

No matter how you feel, you can probably agree that books that celebrate love—whether pulse-pounding romantic love, obsessive love, familial love or love between friends—are books to cherish. In honor of Valentine’s Day, we want to share our Top 10 Love Stories of the 21st Century (so far). Now grab a hunk of chocolate and keep reading . . .

Bel Canto (2001): Would any list of love stories be complete without this novel? The relationships in a group of terrorists and hostages sound anything but sexy—but trust me that this unusual cast will have you crying and sighing after about 30 minutes of reading. Bonus: You’ll find yourself in love with opera after author Ann Patchett has cast her spell.
Read more in BookPage.

The Time Traveler’s Wife (2003): Audrey Niffenegger’s story of Henry (a punk-loving, time-traveling librarian) and Clare (an artist) has become a contemporary classic. It’s clever, heart-breaking and romantic—and I envy the reader who hasn’t discovered it yet.
Read more in BookPage.

The History of Love (2005): “Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” Need I say more about Nicole Krauss’s wonderful book?
Read more in BookPage.

The Myth of You & Me (2005): Leah Stewart’s graceful story attempts to answer this central question: Can a friendship ever be mended once the bonds of trust have been shattered? This is one of our favorite novels about the complicated love between friends.
Read more in BookPage.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (2005): Lisa See writes beautifully about two girls in 19th-century China who build a friendship that exceeds even their love for their own families.
Read more in BookPage.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (2007): Junot Díaz’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel addresses teenage love, obsessive love, unrequited love and more. It’s hip, high-energy and hysterical.
Read more in BookPage.

The Post-Birthday World (2007): Lionel Shriver’s cleverly constructed novel (think Sliding Doors) is about passionate love, comfortable love and the love that could have been. If you love to ask “What if?” this book is for you.
Read more in BookPage.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2008): This delightful novel about the people of the Channel Island of Guernsey includes a tender love story that will make your heart flutter. Even better, the novel itself is practically an ode to book lovers. (And the way author Annie Barrows finished the book for her dying aunt Mary Ann Shaffer is lovely, too.)
Read more in BookPage.

My Abandonment (2009): This pick falls into the “unconventional” category of love stories, but we think Peter Rock’s spare, haunting novel is one of the most fascinating stories of parent/child love published in recent years.
Read more in BookPage.

Marriage and Other Acts of Charity (2010): Kate Braestrup’s memoir of navigating a later-in-life romance and a new marriage will leave you moved and filled with joy.
Read more in BookPage.

Do you agree with the list? What are your favorite love stories of the 21st century?

I would LOVE to add my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On

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Why?

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I recently read an article for authors by Skye Warren, about Marketing…and the latest, newest ways of finding readers. I liked her approach to the subject, but I LOVED her attitude about writers. To sum it up, it’s all about the negative voids that author forums and writers can fall in to… It’s easy to allow yourself to wallow in life’s’ injustices. It’s even easier to lose focus, of your purpose as an author, and to waste precious time chatting or arguing on FB forums on the lack of reviews, scammers, woes of ‘running the business side of publishing.’

What many forget is being a self-published author is running your own business. All aspects of your business require focus, organization, support staff, excellent product, a marketplace and most important of all, a great attitude! All the motivational gurus that one listens to while working in sales or management of any kind, apply to authors and their business as well. We cannot afford to be mediocre in product or production. We need to learn it all and work to build to build our business–find our readers.

Ms. Warren put it very well:

The Point of it All:

It’s remembering that marketing, finding new readers for your books, is the reason why you hit publish in the first place. You don’t need to publish to write books. You can do that in a room by yourself, never reaching a single reader. There is a reader out there who needs your book. The hope of it, the distraction of it, the sexual awakening of it. Whatever you make readers feel this person needs it, and the only way they can is if you put it in front of them.
That’s the point of marketing.

If you are an author or entrepreneur, there will always be things about your business that you’d rather have done by someone else. Yes, I would prefer to spend all my time writing. But in any small business, you must do it all while you are building your reader base,  your audience. Then one day, you will be able to share those aspects of your business with assistants. Until that day, we learn from the pros, those who have made it and love to freely share their experience. Authors like Skye Warren–thank you!

 

http://mailchi.mp/skyewarren/the-point-of-it-all?e=369b2d7bad

 

 

# 1 I’ll Take That Anytime

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LOVE The Beat Goes On  Kindle and Paperback.

“amazing, inspiring, and thought provoking about more than just illness. Anyone facing a major obstacle, a fork in the road, or looking to reinvent their lives would benefit from a journey through Lynda’s heart and soul story.”

“I finished your book and loved it. It was not preachy and you were humble in how you arrived to this point in your life. You had purpose in wanting to live and that’s good.  I was surprised about the bit about being …*no spoilers* I couldn’t say that to the whole world. You are a free spirit.”

I keep telling myself it’s not a competition. But being #1 in Hot New Releases means AMAZON will take notice and send out promos to readers who traditionally read in this genre. And THAT means everything.
The biggest challenge an Indie Author has is time management. I love interacting with fans/readers. I had a thread going on Face Book the other night that went on for hours! It was fun. But the question is, will it produce sales or is it simply a black hole?
I want to write more and more. But time… I finally bought a great Life/Day Planner from Danielle LaPorte. It arrived this morning! I’m so excited I can’t stand myself. And as soon as I finish at my favorite haunt, Starbucks in Nuevo Vallarta, Mex, I’m getting right to it!
 WHAT WILL I DO TO FEEL THE WAY I WANT TO FEEL
Isn’t that perfect?
Thanks for buying my newest book LOVE  The Beat Goes On. It’s very personal and a life mission of mine to help those suffering from incurable or debilitating life events. Yes, there is a shocker in there, probably more than one. I debated putting it in or leaving it out. Then I remembered great advice in Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott on writing: “stop writing as if your mother is reading over your shoulder!” So I went for it.
Live each day as if it is your last. LIVE and LOVE my friends with passion and commitment.

LOVE The Beat Goes On now Live

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“I read the book in one sitting- all I can say is that I am glad you were ready to write because I was ready to read!”

“Your journey has been nothing short of amazing and I am so glad you told it; I believe that it will help many.”

LOVE The Beat Goes On NOW ON AMAZON Kindle Pre-Order, Paperback out by April 2 or sooner.  https://goo.gl/VfRrkf

When your cardiologist tells you to “Get your affairs in order, your heart condition is incurable,” what do you do? In 2008 that’s exactly what happened to me.

In LOVE The Beat Goes On I share my journey in the typical fast-paced, edgy, in-your-face style I’m known for in my novels. I’m hard-hitting, and tell you exactly how it is. I write about romantic experiences that may shock you, but make no apologies for my unconventional life style. Nor do I hold back taking responsibility for the things that I believe created my dis-ease.

You will definitely question a woman who walks around with shortness of breath and blames it on sinus medication; then makes a decision to drive, all alone, from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico to Whistler, Canada with undiagnosed Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy. Women are often self-care-challenged and I was no the exception.

If you are fighting any kind of illness or dis-ease, you are not alone! I’ve walked my talk, and after an experience in the summer of 2015 relating to Dr. Wayne Dyer, I’m now ready to share my story

I know how it feels to be told you’re not healing or your condition is incurable. At no point will I undermine anything your physicians tell you to do. I am not a medical doctor. I will explain the powerful, yet simple concepts and beliefs that I believe led to my healing. Most of all, I will show you how I used these simple principles to design and live, the fully healed life I now enjoy in 2017.

You will shake your head in wonder, laugh, and maybe cry too.

Thank you for being part of my journey.

 

 

 

The Secret of a Successful Mystery: Making the Reader a Participator – WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

reblog: from The Writing Coach, Excellent POV. Thanks

A lot of great stories have a mystery in them. The mystery may not be the primary focus; it might be the secondary, or the mystery might be so minor it lasts only a few chapters…

Source: The Secret of a Successful Mystery: Making the Reader a Participator – WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Excellent Books I Read in 2016

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Blake, Russell   JET-FORSAKEN (BOOK 11)

After months on the run, JET settles down, only to be delivered an unthinkable ultimatum she can’t refuse: risk her life, or her family’s. Spanning the globe, from Hungary to Israel to Azerbaijan, Jet must use every ounce of her skill if she is to survive.

Another breathtaking installment in the JET series by a NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author.

Hines, Raphael  BISHOPS WAR

This fast-paced and action-packed suspense thriller introduces us to Special Forces Sergeant John Bishop, decorated war hero, and nephew of crime boss, Gonzalo Valdez. After returning home from Afghanistan John’s hopes for a peaceful future are quickly shattered when he is catapulted back into the global war on terror through a succession of life-threatening events and corrupt intrigue. He battles against terrorist operatives in New York, a powerful Afghan warlord, and a psychopathic billionaire with powerful White House connections. When John’s uncle gets involved, he proceeds to treat John’s enemies to a bitter taste of mob vengeance. From that point on the ride speeds up and the reader will have to hold on for dear life. This is a thriller not to be matched for intensity and breathless excitement—not for the faint-hearted.

Neal, Toby   WIRED IN & Book 2, WIRED ROGUE

Special Agent Sophie Ang’s emotions are battered by a child kidnapping case that goes badly wrong. In tracking the criminal ring, her rogue data analysis program D.A.V.I.D. identifies an anomaly that leads her into a cat-and-mouse game online with a deadly enemy whose motives are unclear. The chase lures her through dark corridors of cyberspace into a confrontation with the violence from her past that sent her fleeing to the United States. She’ll need every skill she’s learned to defeat her worst nightmare—and the stakes couldn’t be higher.

“Toby Neal has created a wonderfully rounded action heroine with everything: looks, brains, mixed martial arts prowess, and the ability to swear proficiently in Thai and English. Fans of the genre will love FBI agent Sophie Ang, as well as the tangled web she must negotiate in the tropical setting of Hawaii.” Russell Blake, NYT and USA Today Bestselling Author

Weiss, Brian L,  Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives

As featured on Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday,” the classic bestseller on a true case of past-life trauma and past-life therapy from author and psychotherapist Dr. Brian Weiss—now featuring a new afterword by the author.

As a traditional psychotherapist, Dr. Brian Weiss was astonished and skeptical when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. His skepticism was eroded, however, when she began to channel messages from the “space between lives,” which contained remarkable revelations about Dr. Weiss’ family and his dead son. Using past-life therapy, he was able to cure the patient and embark on a new, more meaningful phase of his own career.

DeLeon, Jana  LOUISIANA LONGSHOT (A Miss Fortune Mystery, Book 1)

Hey, I wanted to know what all the fuss was about?

CIA assassin Fortune Redding is about to undertake her most difficult mission ever—in Sinful, Louisiana. With a leak at the CIA and a price placed on her head by one of the world’s largest arms dealers, Fortune has to go off-grid, but she never expected to be this far out of her element. Posing as a former beauty queen turned librarian in a small bayou town seems worse than death to Fortune, but she’s determined to fly below the radar until her boss finds the leak and puts the arms dealer out of play. Unfortunately, she hasn’t even unpacked a suitcase before her newly inherited dog digs up a human bone in her backyard.

Thrust into the middle of a bayou murder mystery, Fortune teams up with a couple of seemingly sweet old ladies whose looks completely belie their hold on the little town. To top things off, the handsome local deputy is asking her too many questions. If she’s not careful, this investigation might blow her cover and get her killed. Armed with her considerable skills and a group of elderly ladies the locals dub The Geritol Mafia, Fortune has no choice but to solve the murder before it’s too late.

Ravikant, Kamal LOVE YOURSELF LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

In December of 2011, I gave a talk to an audience of scientists, Pentagon officials, politicians, and CEO’s on the secret of life and how I’d figured it out the previous summer.

Afterwards, people came up individually and told me how much what I’d shared meant to them. This book is based on the truth I spoke about.

It’s something I learned from within myself, something I believed saved me. And more than that, the way I set about to do it.

This is a collection of thoughts on what I learned, what worked, what didn’t. Where I succeed and importantly, where I fail daily.

The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you were hanging off a cliff with your fingers. As if your life depended upon it. Once you get going, it’s not hard to do. Just takes commitment and I’ll share how I did it.

It’s been transformative for me. I know it will be transformative for you as well.