Why do you enjoy writing romance novels?

Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 4.31.30 PM

I was asked this question on Quora today. It made me think about who I am as an author, and what exactly I write!

I LOVE this question. I never thought of myself as a romance author. But, when I wrote my first published novel, TARGET in the Sun  I received an award for Best in Contemporary Fiction. I had to look up what that meant!

I write from the heart. And there is romance in all things in life. It’s the natural progression of our natures. TARGET was about a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. But it was more about his past, his cartel family, his life growing up on the streets of Mexico, and how he did what he needed to do to survive. I would say that falling in love with an older woman may have been secondary to the story, but that wouldn’t be correct neither. What reviewers say about my work is that I write romance from a different angle.
I’ve since gone on to write Action/Adventure like XPOSED (with romance in it) and Suspense (yes, relationships as well) and am about to embark on the first true romance novel that I’m co-authoring.

The challenge I have with romance is that I’m not sure I believe, wait I KNOW I don’t believe in Happily Ever After or HEA; but, I’m great at HFN, Happy For Now.
Having said all the above, I also live in total denial—according to my friend Lisa. She says I do believe in HEA. I just haven’t found it yet for myself.
So why do I write about love? For the same reason that 28–32% of the male market reads romance! Deep down we all want to be loved. And some of us only find it in books.

 

How do you know when your idea is big enough to write a book about?

If it’s big in your mind and heart that’s all that matters.

I write contemporary novels (amongst other genres). I know that what I write doesn’t necessarily fall into the strict categories of the romance field nor the mystery-suspense fields.

But I have huge stories inside of me, and they are more significant than genres—they beg to be released from my soul.

Write what your heart tells you to write. If your ideas are “big,” yet they don’t come from that place inside you that begs for release, then who will want to read them? If you start to write a story and can’t seem to continue, maybe because it’s following what’s “in style” at the moment, then the authenticity of your work will not show through.

I lead with my heart, nothing else matters to me. And if no-one buys a book I write, I will still be compelled to write exactly the way my soul leads me.

Screen Shot 2018-01-05 at 7.54.48 PM

 

 


 

You might enjoy Lynda’s latest Contemporary Fiction

 Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money

Lie to Me front red

Lie to Me: An Exposé on Sex for Money
“is insanely captivating, entertaining and exciting. It’s a spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.” R. Dzemo 5 STARS READERS’ FAVORITE BOOK REVIEWS
From a “powerful and unforgettable” author and winner of the Best in Contemporary Fiction 2017 BTRC for Target in the Sun comes another powerful fictional story, Lie to Me, an exposé on sex for money.

How many lives have been ruined for the pleasure of an orgasm?

Forty-something Layla Duncan, a women’s magazine writer, has a dangerous obsession with men who sell steamy sexual encounters to vacationing women in Puerto Vallarta. She infiltrates the underworld of male prostitution, interviews several men and begins to write a mesmerizing exposé of their lives.

Before long the lines between Layla’s personal life and professional assignment become blurred, and she finds herself questioning her value system in a titillating yet disturbing way.

Sparks fly one night when she takes a break from her writing and meets the sensual twenty-something Mateo at a local nightclub. The charismatic yet quiet young Mexican man seems oblivious to his powerful sexual aura but is immediately turned on by Layla. The one-night-stand turns into sporadic hook-ups, while two emotionally damaged lovers long for something neither can put into words.

Lynda Filler has once again delivered a fast-paced, sexy and sometimes gut-wrenching page-turner that will unnerve you and leave you breathless.

29 Life-Changing Lessons That Will Make You Successful And More Strategic

There is this myth that mentors are people you have to know and see.

That it is some official designation to seek out. I’ve never met Tyler Cowen, the bestselling author, economist, and thinker. We’ve never spoken on the phone. Our longest email conversation might have been three sentences. Yet he has been one of the most significant influences in the education and evolution of my life. By every definition, he’s been what you would call a mentor.

Lately, I’ve been trying to write about all the ways people have helped me. It’s been an exercise in gratitude but also articulation — in writing it down, I am remembering it and codifying it so I never forget the lessons. Below are just some of the things I’ve learned from this polymathic professor of economics, voracious reader and contrarian philosopher. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to meet him one day (I hope I am) but even if you don’t, he can still be your mentor.

Below are 29 lessons I learned from Tyler over the last 10 years. Hope you gain from them as much as I have.


1. See Yourself Afresh — This is one of my favorite quotes from Tyler: “Treat yourself like a piece of your writing which you set aside for a week so you could look at it fresh.”

2. Being Curious Is a Career — It was crazy to me at first that Tyler got to do what he did for a living: write blog posts, read books, have ideas. That’s what I wanted to do. I think the way you get paid to do that is by making that curiosity valuable to other people: Tyler blogs every day and his links and questions help people do their jobs, his books propose provocative big ideas, his podcast is entertaining and important. You can’t just nerd out — there has to be value creation

3. Complacency Is the Enemy — Tyler’s newest book (which is awesome) is about all the ways that society has become complacent. We accept the status quo, we don’t want to disrupt it. People move less, change careers less, change their minds less, live in less diverse places, riot less than they used to. I’ve done most of those things in my life (except the last one), it’s how you keep things interesting and find opportunities. Point being: Don’t worry as much about disruption and chaos — it might simply mean interesting things are happening — fear stability and complacency because it means decay.

4. Seek Out Quake Books — When I was 19 or 20, Tyler talked to me about the concept of “quake books” — books that shake you to your core. As he wrote in his 2007 email to me: “I would more likely intensively engage with some important book totally full of new ideas. Hayek. Parfit. Plato. And so on. There just aren’t books like that left for me anymore. So I read many more, to learn bits, but haven’t in years experienced a ‘view quake.’ That is sad, to me at least, but I don’t know how to avoid how that has turned out. So enjoy your best reading years while you can!”

5. What’s the Cost of This Fight? — There is a line in one of Tyler’s books where he talks about fighting with a spouse over a couch (or something like that). He says that maybe you like your idea 20% more than her/his idea, so you fight and win. Now you’re a little bit happier. But what did that victory cost you in terms of an unhappy spouse? Is it worth more or less than how much you value your opinion over the couch? I never would have thought about it that way — I can’t tell you how many arguments this has saved me. (The answer is ‘not enough.’)

6. Expectations Are the Enemy in (Long Distance) Relationships — I was in a long distance relationship in 2006 when I read Tyler’s post on them. It was another brilliant perspective that helped me relax and made things better. I ended up marrying that girl a decade later. Thanks, Tyler!

7. Know What is Scarce — “In today’s global economy here is what is scarce: 1. Quality land and natural resources 2. Intellectual property, or good ideas about what should be produced. 3. Quality labor with unique skills.” I framed the longer passage this line is from and I have it above my desk as a daily reminder. It comes from Average is Over — another absolutely amazing book.

8. To Speed Read, Read A Lot — How do you become a better and more prolific reader? I’ll let Tyler tell you: “The best way to read quickly is to read lots. And lots. And to have started a long time ago. Then maybe you know what is coming in the current book. Reading quickly is often, in a margin-relevant way, close to not reading much at all.”

9. Knowledge Compounds — I think what he’s also saying there is that the value of reading compounds over time. Reading more makes you a better and faster reader, learning about stuff makes it easier and faster for you to learn more.

10. Your Life Is Not a Story — Tyler has observed that most people describe their lives as stories and journeys. But giving in to this temptation can be dangerous. Narratives often lead to an overly simplistic understanding of events, causes, and effects — and, often, to arrogance.

11. Move to Texas — In 2013, Tyler wrote a Time cover story about why everyone was moving to Texas. That’s not quite why I moved to Austin but it didn’t hurt.

12. When Traveling, Pretend You’re A Thief — I like his trick when visiting museums: Pretend you’re a thief who is casing the joint. It changes how you perceive and remember the art. Try it.

13. Just Go — Another travel tip from Tyler: “My main tip is simply: “Go, go go!” Go. People have a status quo bias when they make decisions and they don’t take enough chances.”

14. Read However You Want — People are amazed at how much Tyler reads (it’s a lot) but they miss that he has his own set of rules for doing it. He skips around. He quits books he doesn’t like. He might read a novel from only the perspective of one of the characters. He’ll ruin the ending. He just does whatever — and so you should you. This isn’t for a test. It’s for your own enjoyment (he does the same with movies apparently).

15. Be a Good (But Quiet) Family Man — Even though Tyler talks about all sorts of parenting stuff in his books, it really never occurred to me that he had kids until I heard him mention something about it on his podcast. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything about his wife. I have a lot of respect for people who have families…but don’t parade them around like some trophy. He has a family, it’s important to him, but that’s his business. It’s how I try to live my life too.

16. Really Understand Other People’s Work — What you’ll hear when you listen to Tyler’s podcast is just how deeply he has set out to understand the work of the person he’s talking to. I think in some ways he understands the arc of the person’s career better than they do. This is a special skill. It requires getting out of your own head and actually thinking about someone else (that’s not something podcasts are known for…).

17. Read Eclectically — Another reading rule: Check out a couple of these most recent “What I’m Reading” posts from Tyler. Look at how diverse the subject matter is. Books about far-right politics in Europe, the diary of a Stalin ambassador, histories of the Irish border, a book on the quartet of Alexander Hamilton, George Washington, John Jay, and James Madison, one right after another.

18. Money Can Sap Motivation — In Discover Your Inner Economist, Tyler writes about how he tried to incentivize his step-daughter to do the dishes so he resorted to paying her, which got her to wash them — but it worked only for a week. “I knew this could happen. I understood that there is such a thing as intrinsic motivation and that if you pay people, you might weaken that. What I didn’t really get was the control issue. That when you start paying people to do a thing, they often see it as control.” (The story has a happy ending: She started washing the dishes for free after reading the book.)

19. Order Weird Stuff on the Menu — If the weird thing wasn’t good, goes his logic, the chef probably wouldn’t have been allowed to put it on there. Sure — I’ll buy it.

20. Don’t Be Afraid to Have a Partner — Tyler’s site, Marginal Revolution, has a co-writer named Alex Tabarrok. He’s the unsung hero of that site and many of his articles are longtime favorites of mine. You don’t have to do everything yourself. In fact, you should have intellectual and creative partners. It’s powerful.

21. Write The Opposing View — It’s not just enough to think about how other people might think. One of his more recent opinion pieces shows how far Tyler is willing to go when it comes to empathy: He suggests actually writing — as if it’s you — an article with someone else’s opinion. See if you can explain why Trump is doing this or that, or why your parents believe this or that. Feel those words coming through your fingers — do you understand them better? Are things less contentious? I love this idea.

22. How to Thoughtfully Disagree — I’ve read a lot of Tyler Cowen writing over the years. Tyler is smart, opinionated and contrarian. It occurs to me there is one thing I’ve never seen from Tyler: contemptuous dismissal of anyone else. That’s something I know I need to work on. I take things too seriously, I condescend, I speak with undeserved certainty. Meanwhile, Tyler entertains basically everything. He’s friendly even when he disagrees. He’s open-minded. It’s a great model for any aspiring thinker.

23. Think Rationally, Not Emotionally — Two interesting posts from Tyler stand out to me, both about Peter Thiel. One was after the Gawker lawsuit, where Tyler stripped the emotion out of the debate and just looked at how third-party funding works and how common it is. Two, after Peter’s controversial comments in the New York Times about whether there is “too little” or “too much” corruption, Tyler actually tried to figure out what the guy was talking about (it’s actually kind of interesting). Point being: Don’t get caught up in outrage or emotions, earnestly try to figure stuff out.

24. Cultivate Young Smart People — Like I said, I don’t know Tyler, but he’s nice enough to occasionally answer my emails. I know he answers emails from people like Ben Casnocha and Cal Newport and I’m sure there are hundreds — if not thousands — of young people he’s helped over the years (students or otherwise). He doesn’t need to do this but he does. It’s paying it forward.

25. Watch One TV Show at a Time — Tyler has a great rule about not watching more than one big TV series at a time.

26. Don’t Offer to Work for Free — From Average is Over: “It doesn’t matter how flexible the wage is in the more complex, less brute force jobs. A manual worker who just shows up at your door is probably not someone you want to hire unless it is already part of a preexisting business plan with broad buy-in from your enterprise and your creditors. The worker might say, “I’ll lower my wage demands by thirty percent!” or, “I’ll work for nothing!” It usually won’t matter. The sad reality is that many of these workers you don’t want at all, even if the business plan involves additional labor. Some workers simply aren’t worth the trouble unless the demand for extra labor is truly pressing.”

27. Command Your Audience — I’ve become addicted to Tyler’s podcast. Aside from the conversations, a secondary pleasure is his command over the audience (‘I will cut you off.’ ‘We will be out of this room by 5pm.’) and his very specific questions. His confidence and directness was not something I expected to hear, but it’s impressive. I can’t tell you how many conferences I’ve been to where I wished for someone like that.

28. For Good Food, Go to The Suburbs — As Tyler writes in his rules for dining out, “I love exploring the suburbs for first-rate ethnic food. Many people consider suburbs a cultural wasteland, but I am very happy searching for food in Orange County, California; the area near San Jose; Northern Virginia, near D.C.; Somerville, Massachusetts; and so on. I don’t always pre-Google to find the best place, and I don’t keep tapping on my iPhone. I drive around and keep my eyes open for dining establishments likely to follow the economic rules for good, innovative, and affordable food.”

29. Ask: Do Your Actions Match Your Beliefs? — The Tyler post that has me thinking the most lately is something he said after the election of Donald Trump. A good portion of the country thought Trump was dangerously unfit for office and would enact terrible, destructive policies…yet the markets have steadily gone up. Why don’t we see more people acting on these beliefs? Why aren’t there more short sellers in the market? More doomsday preparations? His point: People love to talk but rarely match their actions with their beliefs. This is both a contradiction or a potential market opportunity. It’s made me re-examine my actions in regards to both.

I could keep going but it might start to seem weird. Besides, the other thing I’ve learned from Tyler is this: keep it short. Almost all his blog posts are pithy — sometimes just a few sentences long. Even his opinion pieces are tight and to the point. So I’ll end it here. If you want to learn from Tyler, go read his stuff. He’s the best.

Like to Read?

I’ve created a list of 15 books you’ve never heard of that will alter your worldview and help you excel at your career.

 


Read a lot? Or you want to expand your horizons?
Lynda Filler’s new Action/Adventure series on AMAZON:
5
xposed

“Really important meetings are planned by the souls…”

“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.” Paulo Coehlo, Eleven Minutes

 

It’s not that I disagree with Coehlo, but, must I follow every ‘chance meeting’ that was never meant to be the one? The angst, the passion, the sadness that goes with “really important meetings,” is it really worth it?

Why do I dream? Why do I allow my heart to rule all things in my life? Will I, can I ever change?

There are two things that my heart requires in order to survive, breath and love. Unfortunately, I almost died from the one and I just can’t seem to get the second one right.

Unfortunately, Coehlo understands me too well, I’m a dreamer, a believer, a lover, a fatalist, and an incurable romantic.

I’ve been in denial for so many years. I scoffed at love, took chances, made ridiculous choices. Made decisions that sane people, curable romantics, would never make. I left my mind back there somewhere in 4th grade, and hitched my heart to my soul and let my love take the lead in all things in my life.

Am I a fool for love? Oh yeah.

But for once in my life, if there is such a thing as God, could you please let me love someone who will love me back?

Screen Shot 2018-01-02 at 10.21.24 PM

Has anyone ever been in love with a man/woman 27 years younger than​ themselves? How did it work out?

I came across this intriguing question and answer. With permission from the person who wrote the response, I’d like to share her answer with you.

What do you think?


It rocked my world completely.

It threw my life into great chaos. I was in a ‘challenging’ marriage that I didn’t want to leave because of the children. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t work it out.

And then, out of nowhere, a young man came into my life and saved my life. We met over books–the reading of them. We talked from 1 in the morning until I boarded an airplane at 3 in the afternoon. I cried for the entire journey. It was not love at first sight—it was a conversation, a meeting of two very lost people. And then I realized that it was love. I never thought I could fall in love with someone so much younger. But I did. And he did. And yes, we had our challenges for sure. But they had nothing to do with age.

This is what I took away from that relationship that lasted several years.

1. Age is just a number.

2. Souls meet when they are supposed to, for a reason.

3. Don’t make excuses to friends or family because the world will never accept or understand you and your lover.

4. Most everyone will believe it’s some kind of financial arrangement. Ignore the chatter, it will only hurt you.

5. Souls have no age, do not exist in time. They just understand that when they meet, they’ve found a connection that both of you have been waiting for your whole life.

6. He saved my life and rescued me from drowning.

7. Accept that eventually, you will need to move on—more than likely.

At a point, I had to ask him to go. It wasn’t about our relationship, but about a healing journey, he needed to take.

If I ever needed anything, he’s the first person I would reach out to for help. And he would be there for me in a heartbeat.

© Reprinted with permission

 

For Lynda Filler’s latest release please visit Amazon  Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money

Lie to Me front red

The Vow

The Vow

© Lynda Filler, Real Love 2018

 

you read my sad, accept my lows

you take me high, make me slow

my mind

and time, our time stands still

 

can you imagine how high we can go

or will it die all that we know we are

before we begin 

 

it happens once 

sometimes never, for some

and when it does

let it be

let it flow

take the beauty, take the love, the passion

let it fortify

a journey, sometimes sad

fraught with turmoil

 

take the love

it’s meant for you

it’s all I have

it’s all I am

all I want to be

one, when I’m with you

 

place your head upon my lap

let me love you

let me take away your worries, allow me in

there is no wrong, no shame, no blame

love is all there is

 

across time and space

we’ve got the gift the world is waiting for

embrace the moments, take the high

let it fill your heart

 

and in your dark hours 

when you are alone

fighting for a world

that disappoints and hurts your heart

remember me

wherever I am, remember my love

the gift you gave me

the time we allowed our love to thrive, alive

beyond age and time

beyond reason and sanity

we basked in its joy and purity

and we loved each other

until time

until infinity

 

and if you need to leave me

I will let you go

 

© The Vow, Real Love 2018

Warriors of the Light: A Manual

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-08 at 10.50.16 PM

 

Thank you, Paulo Coelho

 

Warriors of light always keep a certain gleam in their eyes.

They are of this world, they are part of the lives of other people and they set out on their journey with no saddlebags and no sandals.

They are often cowardly.
They do not always make the right decisions.

They suffer over the most trivial things, they have mean thoughts and sometimes believe they are incapable of growing.

They frequently deem themselves unworthy of any blessing or miracle.

They are not always quite sure what they are doing here.

They spend many sleepless nights, believing that their lives have no meaning.

That is why they are warriors of light.
Because they make mistakes.
Because they ask themselves questions.

Because they are looking for a reason – and are sure to find it.

©Paulo Coelho

 

Thanks for following dropping in to read my thoughts. 

 

 

Captivating, entertaining, and exciting!

In case you missed this deal!

1

Excerpts from

Lie to Me an exposé on sex for money    only  $.99 cents KCD

“Somewhere in this romantic little seaside town, a woman was preparing for an evening of pleasure. Nervous no doubt, maybe it was her first time. She showered and perfumed her body, trying to ignore its flaws. She applied her makeup perfectly. Her mask was in place. She shivered slightly, a moment’s hesitation over the evening to come, worried just a little about the act she was about to perform. Would he meet her expectations? Would he be gentle, would he please her? Was she being stupid and foolish? Would it be safe? As she sipped her glass of courage, there would be a knock at her door. Her body tingled in anticipation. There would be no turning back now.”

 

 

What reviewers and readers are saying:

“a spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.”

“Lynda Filler’s novel is character-driven, emotionally intense, and packed with action, a story that explores male psychology regarding sex and a woman’s quest to redefine her identity in a world of twisted morals, where men are driven by the quest for orgasm. “

“The emotional and psychological conflicts are well-explored in this novel and they are at the heart of the plot.

“The characters are exceptional, written with depth, and a lot of humanity is injected into them.”

“Lie to Me: An Exposé on Sex for Money is insanely captivating, entertaining and exciting.” 

 

$.99 cents on Amazon 

Lie to Me an exposé on sex for money     

If you think only men pay for sex, you’re wrong!

$.99 CENTS on Amazon!

3

Take a walk on the wild side while Layla explores the sensual and sexy side of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Lie to Me is insanely captivating, entertaining and exciting. It’s a spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.” R. Dzemo 5 Stars Readers Favorite Review

 

How many lives have been ruined for the pleasure of an orgasm?
Forty-something Layla Duncan has a dangerous obsession with men who sell steamy sexual encounters to vacationing women in Puerto Vallarta. She infiltrates the underworld of male prostitution, interviews several men and begins to write a mesmerizing exposé of their lives.
What do you do when the lines between your personal life and professional assignment become blurred? Layla finds herself questioning her value system in a titillating yet disturbing way.
Sparks fly one night when she takes a break from her writing and meets the sensual twenty-something Mateo at a local nightclub. The charismatic young Mexican man seems oblivious to his powerful sexual aura but is immediately turned on by Layla. The one-night-stand turns into sporadic hook-ups, while two emotionally damaged lovers long for something neither can put into words.

Lynda Filler has once again delivered a fast-paced, sexy and sometimes gut-wrenching page-turner that will unnerve you and leave you breathless.

 

4

Taking the decision to follow the light, Coelho



3

As we all know, I’m a great reader of all things Coelho. My number one value is #love, it shows itself in my poetry and even in my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On. So here’s something I’d love to share.

Paulo Coelho

The Warrior of the light had begun to believe that it is better to follow the light. He had already betrayed, told lies, strayed off his path, paid court to the darkness. And everything continued going well – as if nothing had happened. Now he wants to change his attitudes.

When taking this decision, he hears four comments: “You always acted wrongly. You are too old to change. You are not good. You don’t deserve it”.

He looks towards heaven, and a voice says: “well, my dear, everyone has made mistakes. You are forgiven, but I can’t force this pardon. Decide for yourself”.

The true warrior of the light accepts the pardon and then takes some precautions.