Almost There

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green intense

light of love

heart love

pulsating

tears rolling down

the pale blue window

inside my mind’s eye

the right side, a film playing

over

and over again

 

heart pain silent relentless

take it away I beg

make it go away

 

intense lights bright

smiles and miles of warmth

take me, please

take me there

take me into his arms

let me touch his hair

let my lips brush his cheek

let me smile with him

let me feel his love

 

straw fields break through

electric blue sky

closer, closer I beg

I can feel I’m almost there

 

swirling turquoise water, is that ocean?

is this what your home is like?

will you take me there

 

are those people I see

wait, talk to me, don’t leave yet

I’m almost there

Mom, can you bring me over

yes, I can feel your smile

don’t you love him too?

 

I know my dream is over

the sun is heating up my room

my left side wants to fly

my right, dead weight here

 

I walked with a child

he was sad and sullen

I took his hand

and told him to dance with me

he smiled and twirled

 

and then he was no longer there

 

on an edge of a bathtub

you sat with me

a stranger holding a gun

told us to get inside

our time was up

it was time to die

 

I felt no fear

I was ready to go

I would follow you anywhere

 

© Almost There, I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler Poet

 

Knockin’

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Knockin’

if love came a knockin’

I would demand protective custody

and command an investigation

I would call in the Sheriff

and ask for an enquiry

get answers to a thousand questions

I would roll up the red carpet

turn over the welcome mat

and after careful consideration

I might join you at Starbucks

and share a story or two

and look deep into your eyes

and dissect every answer

and listen to each inflection

and upon careful consideration

I would barricade my heart

and slow down my drumming soul beats

and bring out my cunning intellect

and stand strong upon my feet

because I couldn’t take another hit

so I would call upon my Bodyguard

beg him to rescue my raging hormones

protect me from my sensual leanings

incarcerate my wandering eyes

incapacitate my roving fingers

and seal my lustful lips

take my body into custody

tie me up with silken ropes

and hide me until next Valentine’s Day

because with love

I never

give up

hope

Knockin’ more of I  (Spy)  Love on Amazon 

Lockdown

 

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Lockdown

 

the first time ever I saw your face

I laughed out loud at your twitching mustache

and dancing soft gentle eyes

 

you teased me

and made me blush

and made me forget a

heart battered and bruised by life

         your smile became my hope

 

and I in turn awakened you from a long, long sleep

self-enforced heart prison

in mourning still for one who had died

 

and now the tables have turned, my love

and you are fighting for your life

and you have chosen to push me away

millions of heart miles between us

self-imposed-imprisonment

emotions on lockdown

         and still, I refuse to give up hope

 

I force myself upon your lonely heart

and make you angry

because I won’t go away

 

the first time ever I saw your face

I knew I would hold you in my heart forever

 

© Lockdown, LOVE REHAB

 

 

#1 Love Rehab on Amazon, thank you.

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Lip Service

I taste a salty tear,

let it fall

the furrows aging my face

no longer smiling

the pain

raw

 

it seems with time

I remember

too much, too clear, too sad

 

did you tell my sister you loved me?

that I was distant?

             explain to me how an infant can be distant

 

it matters not, now,

 

I accepted your cool demeanor

all the while thinking there was something wrong with me

 

when my babies were born

you asked me should you come

             how could you ask me

             why didn’t you need to be with me?

(I was so scared)

             didn’t you want to hold them?

a newborn baby, a gift of God,

your grandchild

a baby powder bundle of love

 

it’s my birthday soon,

yours two weeks later

 

I face my sad

I am healing

 

I offer lip-service-forgiveness

I’m not sure I will ever understand you

 

© Lip Service, LOVE REHAB 

 

FREE and #1 Amazon Contemporary Poetry Books

2

color ceased to exist

 

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Blue

 

a whistle blows

March winds

carry your spirit

waves bow, welcome you

moms and calves

breaching

learning

playing

b e i n g

 

I wandered the shoreline

sea shells crusty under

naked feet

toes tickled by waters

wanting to dance

 

you moved in burnt orange

I lived in hot pink

we thought the sapphire of the sea

might be our compromise

 

we walked

c l o s e r

I could almost feel

your kiss against

my waiting soul

 

and then your breath stopped

and my heart screamed black

the winds began to howl

and the whales were still

 

and for a time

color ceased to exist

 

© I (Spy) Love Lynda Filler

 

True Lies

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I found you lurking in (MY)space

our relationship began with confusion

moved on to peel away layers of illusion

progressed to disillusion

and yet

still

I can’t seem to turn away

 

I cursed you

refused to converse with you

deleted, refuted, denied your cyber presence

all the while knowing that if you had skin

I was embedded underneath it

pushing your buttons

inflating member(s)

pumping up the volume of your deceitful heart

pretending (to myself)

that I was special

 

and all the while

you play(ed) me

and I play(ed) you

neither of us wanting to let go

 

I never bought the grill

(I did buy that “something satin with lace”)

I never trusted your promises

although I wanted to believe your true lies

 

so here we lie years later

volumes of heart space occupied by smoke

mirroring each other

never making the connection

alone

with our fantasies
© Lynda Filler, True Lies   I (Spy) Love