Learning how to fight!

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Well, some might call it ‘communicate.’

Years ago I had a friend who told me a story. He said when his parents fought, they stopped speaking to each other. Their record was six months! They later divorced. Can you imagine? I can’t. I get over things very quickly, but not everyone does.

I came across the following article posted on Paulo Coelho’s Website. It’s from The Manuscript Found in Accra. It made me think of my temper and a recent reaction I had to something a friend said to me. My heated response had nothing to do with the subject at hand. Afterward, I realized it’s merely a reflection of how I am feeling, the hurt and sadness that’s in my heart, towards the relationship I now have with someone for whom I care a great deal. I think I have to learn how to fight!

I wanted to share it with you.

If someone confronts you over ideas or ideals, step up and accept the fight, because conflict is present in every moment of our lives and sometimes it needs to show itself in the broad light of day.

But do not fight in order to prove that you are right or to impose your ideas or ideals on someone else. Only accept the fight as a way of keeping your spirit clean and your will spotless. When the fight is over, both sides will emerge as winners, because they tested their limitations and their abilities.

Since both respect the courage and determination of the other, the time will come when they will once again walk along hand-in-hand, even if they have to wait a thousand years for that to happen.

Meanwhile, if someone merely wishes to provoke you, shake the dust from your feet and carry on. Only fight with a worthy opponent, and not with someone who uses trickery to prolong a war that is already over, as happens with all wars.

Such cruelty does not come from the warriors who meet on the battlefield and know what they are doing there but from those who manipulate victory and defeat for their own ends.

The enemy is not the person standing before you, sword in hand. It is the person standing next to you with a dagger concealed behind his back.

The most important of wars is not waged with a lofty spirit and with your soul accepting its fate.

It is the war that is going on now as we are speaking and whose battlefield is the Spirit, where Good and Evil, Courage and Cowardice, Love and Fear face each other.

 

 

 

Love, seriously?

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Why is it that the one you love, never seems to love you back enough? Why is it, the one you don’t love, pours out his heart as if you are the last woman on earth? And his heart will be crushed, broken into a gazillion pieces (I have no idea what that would be in gigabytes-their language, not mine) if I don’t concede I’m “the woman he’s been searching for” his whole life?

Why is it when you’re following your dreams, and your gifts surround you, and beckon to you with love and joy, that you can’t see the forest for the trees? And tears flow when someone smiles at you and offers kindness?

Why is it that in a world gone mad, fast and furious political mayhem, disasters plaguing all continents, that my personal needs are the only thing I can focus on? Where is my social awareness? I assume it’s overwhelmed with self-pity, sometimes hanging on every word from you as if I can’t breathe if I don’t hear your voice or feel your love.

Before I met you, I took pleasure in simple things. Life was un/complicated un/interesting un/demanding. I asked less of me and nothing from you–because I didn’t know I would find those feelings for another ever again in my life.

And, it’s not like I didn’t have that conversation with myself. You know the one, yeh, the one where you tell yourself that this is too good to last, too intense to sustain, too passionate to be real.

The falling in love is the best part, the living in love better yet, the living in uncertainty–there is nothing worse.

I thought I left those days behind me. But then you turned up. I sighed, knowing this was not going to be good, right?

Dear Heart, really??? Don’t you think you’ve had enough? After all, we healed from incurable once before! Do you have to turn incurable (of the romantic kind) into a habit?

I thought normal, sane, controlled, ordinary (my version anyway) and calm were doing just fine.

“And then there was you.”

 

Do you think people in general over-share?

Thanks, Jan. What do you think of this article? rijanjks posted on her blog? Visit and sign on to her insightful and cool posts!!  

 

We live in such an electronically connected age. It brings the thought to mind about what we share on social media.

Do you think people in general over-share?

Oversharing

I’m going to pick on Facebook.  Take a look at most anyone’s Facebook page and odds are that you’ll know where they’ve been (Check-ins) (PARIS, nodding head vigorously), what they’ve eaten in the past few days, (yep, Guacamole with Felix!) what interests them, who their friends are, their children and grandchildren, their marital status, their birthday, and most likely their political views (at least I don’t share THAT!).

Maybe that’s good. Maybe that’s bad. I suppose it’s all in perspective.

The reality is that it is the world we live in.

I made a decision early on with Facebook that I would not post anything negative on my page. For the most part, I’ve kept with that decision. Of course, I have days when I feel down. Should I post it? Probably not. Because, by the time everyone finishes responding and trying to cheer me up, I’ll have forgotten all about it and wonder what they’re talking about.  So, I try to keep it free of negativity. ✅ When I feel down is when I’ll post something like one of these. 🙂

Another social media rule I practice is to avoid politics and religion.✅ I firmly believe Facebook is not the place to have heated arguments, and yet I see it happen all the time.

Political Views

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE FACEBOOK! (MY CAPS and emoji) ❤️ It is the perfect way for me to see pictures of my step-great-granddaughter in Las Vegas, Nevada whom I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. It is the perfect place to share my blog posts and pictures of interesting places I go, as well as discover new and interesting places others visit. It is the perfect place to promote events and celebrate birthdays. It is the perfect place to celebrate milestones and anniversaries. It is the perfect place to stay in touch with friends and family that I don’t see on a regular basis.

But, have we turned Facebook into an over-sharing cesspool? I’d really like to hear your thoughts about all of the open sharing on social media in general. Where is it headed?

I know most of you follow John Howell’s blog and see his Top Ten Lists. Hmmm, John, have you ever done one about posting on Facebook?  Well, if not, here’s an idea. “Top Ten Things NOT to Share on Facebook.” 🙂

People-have-really-gotten-comfortable-not-only-sharing-more-information-and-different-kinds-but-more-openly-and-with-more-peopleand-That-social-...-Mark-Zuckerberg

Why do I write?

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1. I live inside my mind. Thoughts build up in there to the point where I’m searching madly for somewhere to write them down.

2. Reading others’ words excite me and fill me with joy, or peace, or love, or passion—it’s the way I interact in my world.
3. When I compose a poem, a one-liner, a plot, or a book, I’m lost at that moment. Nothing else exists in my universe. The world stops.
4. No one can enter my mind unless I invite them in. That’s powerful. “I live in my own little world. They know me here.”
5. Language has the power to move us to tears. Lyrics break hearts, a stunning poem can make us cry, we can get lost for hours in a good novel, or change the world because of something an influential person has shared with us.
6. Words seduce us, inspire us to feats of greatness, send messages of love, heal others who are in pain and suffering.
How can I sum up the feeling I get when I complete one of my novels? Or when I finished my memoir?

Writing is the sum of all the fantastic parts of living our lives. Where would we be without the written word? Where would my fingers and my mind find a home?

Warriors of the Light: A Manual

 

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Thank you, Paulo Coelho

 

Warriors of light always keep a certain gleam in their eyes.

They are of this world, they are part of the lives of other people and they set out on their journey with no saddlebags and no sandals.

They are often cowardly.
They do not always make the right decisions.

They suffer over the most trivial things, they have mean thoughts and sometimes believe they are incapable of growing.

They frequently deem themselves unworthy of any blessing or miracle.

They are not always quite sure what they are doing here.

They spend many sleepless nights, believing that their lives have no meaning.

That is why they are warriors of light.
Because they make mistakes.
Because they ask themselves questions.

Because they are looking for a reason – and are sure to find it.

©Paulo Coelho

 

Thanks for following dropping in to read my thoughts. 

 

 

“TAKE ACTION Even When You DOUBT Yourself!”

 

When in doubt, take action. Meet Mel Robbins”

Mel Robbins is a serial entrepreneur and one of the most booked motivational speakers in the world. She’s the CEO and co-founder of The Confidence Project, a media and digital learning company working with Fortune 500 brands.

Mel is the creator and star of the Audible Original series “Kick-Ass With Mel Robbins,” a first of its kind life and business advice talk show.

In 2017, Mel broke self-publishing records with her international best-seller The 5 Second Rule. It was named the #1 audiobook in the world and the fifth most read book of the year on Amazon. It is translated into 31 languages.

Mel is a relatable, no-BS expert on change, human behavior, and mindset. Her social media platform reaches 20 million people a month and her TEDx Talk has been viewed by over 14 million people.

 

Here are her top 10 Rules for Success as posted on Evan Carmichael. It’s a great channel to subscribe to for daily inspiration and motivation!

Evan likes #6, I like #9. Have your own definition of success:  Work it, believe in yourself, and #love what you do.

1. Control how you live
2. Get rid of your phone
3. Focus on the customer
4. Take action
5. Cheer for everybody
6. Tweak your habits
7. Stop caring what others think
8. Be mindful of how you speak
9. Have your own definition of success
10. Apply the ‘6 months’ rule

 

 

Thanks for visiting my blog.

If you’re looking for the habits and beliefs that led to “Healing from incurable” I would love to hear what you have to say about my memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On

You’ve got to be kidding me!

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Lynda Filler
Lynda Filler, Writer, Novelist, Top QUORA Writer 2018 at Lynda Filler Author (2009-present)

Interesting assumption. I think you might have missed the point of the investigation. As of his entry into the Manhattan Court House yesterday, he had something like 50 accusers. Personally, I watch, read and try to forget what’s going on. If you read my profile, I’m from the generation before all this happened. And believe me, it happened in my generation all the time. No one talked about it.

Most of the women who have spoken up were actually in a forced situation. Yes, some went ahead with it and I will explain that in a moment. But many ran away. Many left in a hurry. Many were backed into a corner by an extremely large man. How do you think you react to 250 lbs of aggression against 116 lbs? Power against a nobody, someone who’s career stands at the mercy of the MOST powerful man in Hollywood. Do you give in? Or try to run? When the thought runs through your mind that his enablers know exactly what is going on, so if you scream NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU. And if you fight back, you’re banned forever from following your dreams. Just think about what kind of “consent” that entails.

The first time for me I was on a double date. We got separated as couples and my date and I were at a park ‘talking’. It was midnight. He tried to rape me. Thank God he believed my story (I said I had my period) and the promise to meet up the following week. I was 18 and he was a police officer of 24. It was in Ottawa Canada many many years ago. If something had happened, who would I complain to?

The second time, I was a very sad and frightened about-to-be-divorced 22-year-old woman at her lawyers. My ex had tried to smother me in a fit of anger. We were married for 6 months. But I saw a pattern and I ran out and never returned. That was traumatic enough. But when I went to sign my divorce documents, my divorce lawyer had his brother with him (another lawyer). It turned out that “I” was part of the payment for their divorce services.

I can go on if you’d like. My generation did nothing, said nothing because nothing would have been the result of a complaint. Imagine me accusing a police officer or two lawyers, or a photographer when I started modeling, or a business owner when I worked as a buyer for his 10 stores…

Do you want to know where I was for the year before I married? I became a missionary nun! I was Catholic and very religious. But the contemplative life was not for me for several reasons. There was no #MeToo movement in my day. The last thing any of us would have done was file a complaint.

So don’t tell me about consent, or partial consent or culpability. Tell me about compassion, and understanding and love. Tell me you can understand and for one single moment imagine that you have a daughter forced into a sexual act. There is no love, no desire, no agreement. There is absolutely fucking nothing except ‘get it over with and let me go’.

And that’s all I can say about the whole thing because I refuse to live with the anger and pain it caused in my life.

Although I do believe it led to a series of painful and worthless years of emptiness and a lifetime of looking for real love.

 

LOVE The Beat Goes On  If you are curious about my life and why my one word is  #LOVE

Inner Beauty

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A reviewer compared my recent work Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money to Paul Coehlo’s Eleven Minutes. I immediately read the book and have been in love with his words ever since. What an amazing author and very special man. I wanted to share this interesting blog on his site.

 

30 sec reading: Inner beauty is not enough

Paulo CoelhoPeople always say: ‘It’s inner beauty that matters, not outer beauty.’
Well, that’s not true.

If it were, why would flowers put so much energy into attracting bees?
And why would raindrops transform themselves into a rainbow when they encounter the sun?

Because nature longs for beauty and is only satisfied when beauty can be exalted. outer beauty is inner beauty made visible, and it manifests itself in the light that flows from our eyes.
It doesn’t matter if a person is badly dressed or doesn’t conform to our idea of elegance, or isn’t even concerned about impressing other people.

I am not talking about fashion, I am talking about the light that we all have inside.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and, like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.
So if the person looking into someone’s eyes has a dark soul, he will see only his own ugliness.

Therefore I beg you: SHINE!

Beauty is present in all creation, but the danger lies in the fact that, because we human beings are often cut off from the Divine Energy, we allow ourselves to be influenced by what other people think.
We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognize it.

Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.

We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.

taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

 

 

Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money is available on Amazon, Kindle, and Paperback.

“is insanely captivating, entertaining, and exciting… A spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.” 5 STARS R. Dzemo, Readers’ Favorite. 

lie filler

 

The Little Pieces

 

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© Lynda Filler Photography

 

 

I love you

with all those little pieces

the ones left lying on the floor like garbage

discarded chunks

of bleeding broken heart

 

I tried to fix them

used Crazy Glue

thought crazy would work

 

because I must have been crazy

to have fallen for your smooth moves

and slick lines

and empty words

and unfilled promises

 

it doesn’t matter

whether you played

with me

or against me

or hurt me

 

because like the saying goes

it’s funny how someone can break your heart

and you still love him

with all the broke and busted pieces

left lying on the floor

 

 

© The Love Fix