Is it really that simple?

What is your best advice for staying youthful and healthy as long as you can?

It’s really simple to me. So enjoy the wisdom I shared on Quora tonight. Here’s my list.

  1. Be happy. There is nothing that ages us more than bitterness, and recriminations.
  2. Don’t live in the past. Embrace the present. Refuse to worry about the future because the future never comes.
  3. Laugh a lot, smile often. If you’re a woman, it hides the wrinkles. Life will try to take you down, throw curve balls that will bring you to your knees. Stand tall, be strong, never look back.
  4. LOVE, love yourself, love your life, love the planet, love your family, love your partner(s). Don’t be stingy with your love.
  5. Have no regrets. Never apologize about your life choices and decisions. You can’t change them, even if they were wrong in hindsight… let that stuff go.
  6. Don’t worry about the one that got away. If you’re too busy worrying about a bad relationship or marriage, you’re too bitter to notice the one ahead of you that might be that elusive soul-mate.
  7. Always lead with your heart. Yes, you will screw up, whether it’s in friendships, or with a child, or a mate. Forgive yourself often. You’re only human.
Lynda Filler Author 2019

Why am I so scared to say “I love you” to my boyfriend?

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For me, the answer has always been simple. I would be afraid that he is not going to say “I love you” back to me. I wouldn’t want to get hurt if his feelings are not as strong as mine.

However, I think my answer and my thoughts on this issue are stupid! I bet that surprises you. Look how quickly we say we don’t like something or someone. When you get into arguments you might even say you hate someone. So why are we so stingy with the word love?

I’ve worked at getting over this stigma or foolishness I have with this word. There are all kinds of love. Give it freely. It will always come back to you even if it only comes back to you in loving yourself. You will love yourself more because you are not afraid to use the word and share your love unconditionally.

And what do I mean by unconditionally? It took me the loss of a lover to understand what this word meant.

Let me explain. I was involved with a man that I loved and wanted to be with. Instead, he chose a higher calling. He retired from the SEALs and went to Africa to work with orphans. I was devastated. This man and I had an intense emotional relationship and there was no doubt in my mind that he loved me. But he had a calling that was so much bigger than ‘us.’

I remember this event like it happened yesterday. It was the time in my life when I learned what it really means to say “I love you.” It means my love for you surpasses your choices. It is above my need for you to return it back to me. I can love you even if you are not able, or have the same need, to give me back what I want or think I need. I still love you. I had to decide if my love for him was about ME or about HIM.

I value that time in my life. It took me two weeks to understand that this was truly the first time in my life when I really loved someone. I had to let him go physically but I kept my relationship with him. We communicated daily. It was intense and beautiful. He shared his journey, his love for me, photos of the events in the orphanage in South Sudan. His daily challenges were immense. But he was happy doing this work. It fed his heart and his soul. He had spent years in and out of the tunnels in Afghanistan and his soul was fractured and needed to heal. I would never have been enough for him.

And four months after he left to go to Africa, he was dead.

So never ever miss an opportunity to say I love you. You are saying it for yourself. And celebrating your love, vocalizing it is a beautiful thing. And if it’s not returned the way you want, who cares! It’s not about the one you love, it’s about you, how you feel, and how you have shown up in his life. If he loves you back that’s great. But if he understands that there are no conditions attached to your love, I think it will be fine.

Don’t be afraid to show the best emotion that life has to offer. You owe it to yourself.

 

Shared from my answer in Quora 

Read more about Lynda’s philosophy on life in her memoir LOVE The Beat Goes On

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Help us to awaken Love

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by Paulo Coehlo, reprinted from his blog

 

Just as there are many paths to the top of a mountain, so there are many paths to achieving our goal. Help us to recognize the only one that is worth following, the one on which Love is to be found.

Help us to awaken the Love sleeping within us before we awaken love in other people. Only then will we be able to attract affection, enthusiasm, and respect.

Help us to distinguish between battles that are ours, battles into which we are propelled against our will and battles that we cannot avoid because Fate has placed them in our path.

May our eyes open so that we can see that no two days are ever the same. Each one brings with it a different miracle, which allows us to go on breathing, dreaming and walking in the sun.

May our ears also open to hearing the opposite words that suddenly emerge from the mouth of one of our fellows, even though we haven’t asked for his advice and he has no idea what is going on in our soul at that moment.

And when we open our mouth, may we speak not just the language of men, but the language of angels too and say: ‘Miracles do not go against the laws of nature; we only think that because we do not know nature’s laws.’

And when we achieve this, may we bow our head in respect, saying: ‘I was blind, but now I can see. I was dumb, but now I can speak. I was deaf, but now I can hear. Because God worked his miracle within me, and everything I thought was lost has been restored.’

taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

 

 

 


 

Would you give it all up for love? Vanished in the Sun a Romantic Suspense Novel by Lynda Filler

No challenges, no success.

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Do you ever have this conversation with yourself? I’ve been living under a rock! How come I’ve never heard of Gaur Gopal Das? Well, I have to tell you that since I found this video this morning, I’ve watched it, and listened to it several times. I want to share this with you just in case his wisdom and beauty have not yet stolen your heart.

5 PIECES OF LIFE CHANGING ADVICE FROM GAUR GOPAL DAS

“Great people don’t give up, they live up to the challenges that life throws at them. Great people, don’t go through, they grow through the difficulties that come on their path. They start all over again with great hope, with great determination, with great grit, and that is why they reach the highest peaks of success that most people only aspire for. That is why I say NO CHALLENGES, NO SUCCESS, KNOW CHALLENGES, KNOW SUCCESS.

  1. INCREASE THE STANDARD OF YOUR LIFE
  2. GO WITH THE FLOW
  3. DON’T LIVE THE LIFE OF ‘I’
  4. CHOOSE GREATNESS
  5. FIND REAL PEACE

 

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Trust me, you will love this video. Thanks to Evan Carmichael and the Mentor Me Series on YouTube.  #MentorMe

 

I’m in love…Coelho

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A review or a reviewer’s musings? You decide…

Sometimes a story/book/novel seizes your heart and refuses to let go. Such is my love affair with this book, Manuscript Found in Accra.

Let me share a few of the highlights from the book. I imagine when I allow myself to finish, I will have underlined at least one hundred sections. I’m savoring every page.

“As far as Coelho is concerned, this “Manuscript Found in Accra” is not in 1099 or 4859, much less at the end of 492. The Copt believes only in the present moment and what he calls Moira–the unknown god, the Divine Energy, responsible for a single law, which if ever broken, will bring about the end of the world.”

“I am not here to tell you that defeat is part of life; we all know that. Only the defeated know Love. Because it is in the realm of Love that we fight our first battles–and generally lose.”

“Wait patiently for the right moment to act. Do not let the next opportunity slip by you. Take pride in your scars. Scars are medals branded on flesh, and your enemies will be frightened by them because they are proof of your long experience of battle. Often this will lead them to seek dialogue and avoid conflict. Scars speak more loudly than the sword that caused them.”

“In the silence of the night, they fight their imaginary battles: their unrealized dreams, the injustices to which they turned a blind eye, the moments of cowardice they managed to conceal from other people–but not from themselves–the love that crossed their path with a sparkle in its eyes, the love God had intended for them, but which they lacked the courage to embrace. And they promise themselves: “Tomorrow will be different.” But tomorrow comes and the paralyzing question surfaces in their mind: “What if it doesn’t work out?” And so they do nothing. Woe to those who were never beaten! They will never be winners in life.”

“Solitude is not the absence of Love, but it’s complement. Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.”

“If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.”

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“For those who fear the solitude, it’s important to remember that in life’s most significant moments we are always alone. Take the child emerging from a woman’s womb: it doesn’t matter how many people are present; the final decision to live rests with the child. Take the artist and his work: in order for his work to be really good, he needs to be still and hear only the language of the angels. Take all of us, when we find ourselves face-to-face with the Unwanted Visitor, Death; we will all be alone at that most important and most feared moment of our existence. Just as Love is the divine condition, so solitude is the human condition. And for those who understand the miracle of life, those two states peacefully coexist.”

 

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THE MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

 

 

 

 

 

Manuscript Found in Accra is a novel by Brazilian author Paulo Coelho. The action is placed in 1099 in Jerusalem while the city awaits the invasion of the crusaders. Inside the city’s walls, men and women gathered to hear the wise words of a mysterious Greek man– known as the Copt. The people begin with questions about their fears, true enemies, defeat, and struggle; they contemplate the will to change, and the virtues of loyalty and solitude; and ultimately turn to questions of beauty, sex, and elegance, love.

Inner Beauty

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A reviewer compared my recent work Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money to Paul Coehlo’s Eleven Minutes. I immediately read the book and have been in love with his words ever since. What an amazing author and very special man. I wanted to share this interesting blog on his site.

 

30 sec reading: Inner beauty is not enough

Paulo CoelhoPeople always say: ‘It’s inner beauty that matters, not outer beauty.’
Well, that’s not true.

If it were, why would flowers put so much energy into attracting bees?
And why would raindrops transform themselves into a rainbow when they encounter the sun?

Because nature longs for beauty and is only satisfied when beauty can be exalted. outer beauty is inner beauty made visible, and it manifests itself in the light that flows from our eyes.
It doesn’t matter if a person is badly dressed or doesn’t conform to our idea of elegance, or isn’t even concerned about impressing other people.

I am not talking about fashion, I am talking about the light that we all have inside.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and, like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.
So if the person looking into someone’s eyes has a dark soul, he will see only his own ugliness.

Therefore I beg you: SHINE!

Beauty is present in all creation, but the danger lies in the fact that, because we human beings are often cut off from the Divine Energy, we allow ourselves to be influenced by what other people think.
We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognize it.

Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.

We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.

taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

 

 

Lie To Me an exposé on sex for money is available on Amazon, Kindle, and Paperback.

“is insanely captivating, entertaining, and exciting… A spellbinding story that explores the psychology of sex in a way that defies Coelho’s Eleven Minutes.” 5 STARS R. Dzemo, Readers’ Favorite. 

lie filler

 

What would you do?

 

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1. What is your idea of success?

Sometimes your failure–for trying–is better than someone else’s success in staying where he/she is. There’s nothing sadder than hearing an older person say: “I wish I had…” “I should have tried…” “I always wanted to…” “Why didn’t I… when I had the opportunity?”

2. It’s okay to crawl and crawl some more…

This one is particularly hard for me. I come from the generation of women who believed we could have it all. And then we found out that having it all meant not all things worked out. Marriages failed, businesses went bankrupt and children didn’t always fill that void in your heart for being needed and loved. But still, we tried and for that, we have no regrets.

Wanting something and not giving up, often times means we have to crawl or take baby steps when in reality we want to LEAP!

3. Know you will have setbacks… and do it anyway.

I’ve done many things in my life. Most have been somewhat within my control. Choosing to put my writing out there took courage. I remember the first reviews of my first novella, JET. I had a troll. I didn’t even know what that was. Let me explain. It’s someone who reviews your work and leaves hurtful remarks, and what he/she hopes will derail your current and future efforts. He hated my story so much that he actually bought the second in the series so he could hate on that one too! Hah, that’s when I caught on. I kept writing them anyways! I believed in my work and my fans love them and ask for more! They’re successful Kindle World novellas. Amazon sees the fans reactions and reviews and promotes them. And I get lost in JET’s world when I write them.

JET-DISPLACED is 4th in the Series and JET-Reborn (will be out in two weeks) now published!

4. Be open to criticism.

I cringed when I received criticism for one of my books. Now as I continue to become a better writer, I’m grateful for comments that rang true to me–even if I didn’t want to hear them at the time. Reviews have helped me grow and encouraged me beyond measure. Without the great reviews I receive, I would stop publishing. It’s not easy to break through in 2018. It requires an attitude of “this is what I was born to do, and I will continue, even if no one buys a single book.”

5. Find those who have succeeded in your field and don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice.

Authors can be the most gracious or the nastiest friends you can have. Search out the ones and the groups who are friendly and encouraging. And remember, we are all so busy that we can’t always do the things you request but we can point you in the right direction.  For me, that amazing group has been #RRBC. The members are caring, supportive and talented. They don’t talk their talk, they just DO IT!

6. If you want it bad enough, remember…

The story goes that Colonel Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, presented his concept/sauce/chicken and was rejected one thousand and nine times before he received a yes!

We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell.” Stephen King’s Carrie sells 1 million in the first year alone.

“Frenetic and scrambled prose.” Viking Press disagree and publish one of the most influential novels of all time. Since 1957 it has regularly sold at least 60,000 copies every year. Which has seen On The Road by Jack Kerouac, become a multi-million best-seller.

31 publishers in a row turn down The Thomas Berryman Number. It wins the Edgar for Best Novel becoming a best-seller for James Patterson. An author with 19 consecutive number #1′s on the New York Times best-seller list and sales of 220 million

16 literary agencies and 12 publishers reject A Time To Kill. Its modest print run of 5000 quickly sells out, as it goes on to become a best-seller for its author: John GrishamCombined sales of 250 million.

7. Regrets are worse than never taking the chance.

When my children were babies, I remember reading a story to them called The Little Engine That Could (1906 original story). It’s a children’s book with the graphics of a little engine trying to make its way up a hill. It’s so small and the hill is so large, and the poor little engine is so tiny. It’s impossible, says everyone. But the little engine kept saying “I think I can…I think I can…” and chugged along slowly and methodically. When I crested the hill, it chugged out the worlds: “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could!”

So this Sunday morning I write this blog first, for me, and second, for YOU!

Don’t give up. The world is waiting to hear from you!

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Have you got what it takes to write a novel? NaNoWriMo

 

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You start with an idea. Where you proceed from there depends on the genre you wish to write. For example, JET: EXPOSED (Kindle Worlds Novella) (JET WORLD Book 1) is a series of Action/Suspense/Thriller novellas (fan fiction) that require lots of plot, the original characters from Russell Blake’s super successful JET series, and my original subplots. So for that type of story, I use a spreadsheet. I need to plot out my story before I write even one word.

This afternoon I was looking for something and came across TextEdit notes on my computer for book 3 of my “in the Sun” series, Book one wasn’t plotted at all Target In The Sun (Carlos & Mia Book 1) but because the fans loved it and wanted to know what happened to the main characters, I needed to come up with a convincing second story. I hadn’t planned on a series. Again, I used a spreadsheet to list my characters, their main qualities, looks, background and then down the page I would write chapter 1, 2, 3 and fill in the ideas. Book two went much faster. And now this is how I’ve started book 3:

“I’ve found her boss.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Kill her!!”

“Are you loco? What if he finds out?”

“I said kill her!”

Silence at the other end of the cell phone, and then the connection was broken.

I already had what I thought was chapter one, but I was wrong!! My muse is taking over—and that’s exactly what you want.

My basic literary tools go like this:

  1. Ideas—you can find them anywhere
  2. Discipline to write—that comes from your burning desire to be an author
  3. Structure—you need organization
  4. Flexibility—you must remember that stories come through us. We don’t own them, our muse comes out to play and can be as annoying as a sibling. Your muse will interrupt you WIP with something totally unexpected. It’s called magic.
  5. Belief—you must believe that your stories are meant to be written and read. If you don’t have belief, you will give up too soon.
  6. Determination—if you have #5 then the guts to work through a lousy review and tons of different types of rejection is a literary tool that you will need to have in your toolbox
  7. Team—you will find that you can’t/don’t want to do everything yourself. So the team that works with you need to understand your vision. Editors, cover artist, advertising groups, your FB fan base and your first readers
  8. Marketing—in today’s world anyone can write a book. Learn to market. It’s the part I least like and yet it allows me to connect directly with my readers. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you will have fans like mine who love my work and leave reviews that take my breath away.

 

My current Work in Progress   Lie to Me: an exposé on sex for money

 

Layla Duncan has an insatiable curiosity about Mexico’s other tourism, men who sell steamy sexual encounters to vacationing women. She infiltrates the organized underworld of male prostitution, interviews several men and writes an exposé of their lives. The lines between Layla’s personal life and professional assignment quickly become blurred, and she finds herself questioning her value system in an exciting yet disturbing way. 

What is life’s​ most important lesson?

 

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The most important lesson in life is to learn to be happy. In order to do this, you must find a way to fall in love—with yourself.

The movies, books, TV, social pressures all tell us that happiness is about money, success, prestige, finding a mate, having children. I will tell you that if you are looking for those things to make you happy in this lifetime, you will always be searching.

So look for peace and joy in the simple pleasures of life. Learn about the things that interest you. Be a loving daughter, mother, father, son, or friend.

Find your passion, the things in life that make your heart sing. I write, sometimes paint, love to read, love to travel, discover new things, people, food. Find your passion because no one can ever take your inner happiness and peace away. Learn this lesson early by asking the question you have asked me; and practice what fulfills you and makes your heart sing.

And if anyone tells you you’re selfish, so be it. In the end, we come into this world alone and we exit in the same fashion. But along the way, my friend, learn how to love yourself and you will never be lonely.

What things in life you should never take for granted?

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  1. Never take for granted your best friend and lover—even when he pisses you off!! Because he could end up living in a hospital on life support, like mine.
  2. Your beauty—learn very early that beauty comes from inside. If you think it’s external you will never be happy.
  3. LOVE—take it often, give it all the time, and never ever forget that you are enough. If you don’t learn to love yourself, you might as well quit right now.
  4. Family and friendships. They may not be here for your entire life, but while they are, tell them you love them. Never miss an opportunity to say, “I love you!”
  5. Your life. As we have all seen by recent events in the US and around the world, natural disasters and man-made horrific events can take our lives away in an instant. Truly live each moment as if it’s your last and never stop making a positive difference in the lives around you.